Joke: Looking good dead

Aslan


Joined: 23/06/2008
Posts: 757

Message Posted:
11/11/2009 12:35

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly-tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.



The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and she says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'



The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk pin stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.



She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.



'There's no charge,' she says.



cont'd

Aslan


Joined: 23/06/2008
Posts: 757

Message Posted:
11/11/2009 12:35

No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.



'Honestly, madam,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'........................................



















'So I just switched the heads.'



(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING !!)

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
11/11/2009 12:44

Aslan

Your right I didnt expect that end, great

NoveltyBubble


Joined: 11/11/2009
Posts: 46

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 12:17

Ooooooh that made me chuckle!



Keep em coming please



NB x

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
12/11/2009 12:33

A 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. She is discharged from the hospital and goes home. Unfortunately her husband, 72 died before the birth.

Her relatives are worried about how she will cope and come to visit.



“May we see the new baby?” one asks.

“Not yet… soon,” says the 65 year-old mother, chatting away with her visitors.

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asks, “May we see the new baby now?”

“Not yet,” replies the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they ask again, “May we see the baby now?”

“No,” replies the mother.

Growing very impatient, they ask, “So, when can we see the baby?”

“Well..... when it cries,” she tells them.

“WHEN IT CRIES!” they exclaim, “why on earth do we have to wait until it cries?”



“Because," she explains, "I've forgotten where I put it...”