Joke - not the best but worth a titter

LaptaGeezer


Joined: 01/06/2010
Posts: 407

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 13:04

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?"

Well, it says you"re not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing"s an hour fast."

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 15:20

Very good.

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 15:30

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.



'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.



'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!



'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.



'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.



The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 15:33

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to

spice up her dead sex-life.



She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments

she uncrosses her legs ... enough times that her husband finally asks,



"Are you wearing crotchless panties?" - "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.



"Thank god for that - I thought you were sitting on the cat."

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 15:36

Allreday 75,800 times on the Internet.

http://www.google.com/search?q=A+cowboy+walks+into+a+bar+and+takes+a+seat+next+to+a+very+attractive+woman&hl=en&num=10&lr=&ft=i&cr=&safe=images

I'm glad you made it 75,801 times.

A bit sad, in my opinion, the contributions to this board with old jokes from the 'Net - type "joke" in Google and you have a trillion of them.

Isn't there really anything in or about Cyprus you could write about..?!

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 15:42

Typo in msg 5, I'm afraid: Allreday = Allready

Jefferson


Joined: 17/05/2010
Posts: 360

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 17:03

Message 6. Sorry but another typo? Already!

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 17:04

Yep, it's a difficult language... Dutch is much easier...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 17:12

Hans, don't underestimate yourself - your English is better than some on ere. )

LaptaGeezer


Joined: 01/06/2010
Posts: 407

Message Posted:
22/11/2010 19:55

Nothing wrong with a smile now and again Dutch.... it may have been off the net but hey.. does it really matter?!



het maakte me aan het lachen

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
23/11/2010 05:38

Picked up a Korean take-away on the way home tonight.



Those meatballs really are the dog's bo##ocks.

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
23/11/2010 05:39

My wife's been missing fo two weeks now, the Police called me and told me to prepare for the worst.



I thought 'damm, I better go back to the charity shop and get her clothes back'

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/11/2010 09:12

Ny mate went to the airport to meet his daughter who had been working in Africa for the last six years and was returning with her new husband. As she got off the plane she was accompanied by a big black man wearing a loincloth, a bone through his nose and a feather in his hat. "Who the hell is this" asked My mate, "It's my husband" the daughter replied. My mate said "You stupid cow!!! I said marry a RICH Doctor!"