I'm thinking of opening a new business.. comments please

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 09:50

I have decided to open a string of 10 estate agents. This is because so many are closing down and there are so many empty shops.



I will pay 5 years rent in advance, so that the rent will not go up after the first year.



I will ONLY deal with reputable developers/builders who are financially sound and can prove they have had NO problems.



I will charge only 1% for muliple agency and 1.5% for sole agency.



No money will be handed to the developer/builder, until the property/infrastructure (inc a landline telephone) is in place.



I will only allow a sale after the customer has received their Permission To Purchase, as this will make the Sale a bit safer. Until P2P is received no money will be handed over. (This can be up to five years, hence my 5 years rent in advance).



As this is only a first draft of my business plan, I accept there may be one or two minor problems that need to be overcome.



If anyone has any comments, or would like to invest, please feel free.

Hippo


Joined: 02/02/2007
Posts: 2070

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 09:53

Is it April already?

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 09:55

Pinkchilli nice idea...won't get off the ground though..

dixie normus


Joined: 22/02/2008
Posts: 820

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 09:56

Sounds great Pinkchilli, any chance of havin some of that gear yer smokin



D.N

proline


Joined: 19/01/2009
Posts: 291

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 09:59

But will the builder agree not getting any money for 5 years?

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 10:01

Hiipo, no it's not April already. I'm just looking for sensible comments, or investors ;-)



Dee, please help me, why won't it get off the ground?



Some thought the first aeroplane wouldn't fly!



I believe I will attract ALL new potential customers, (both of them), then every other estate agent will be forced to close, then... (can you guess the rest?).



My grandfather said to my mum, this new fangled device won't stop families sitting around the fire, playing cards, playing the piano, etc. John Logie Baird didn't listen to my grandfathers advice!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 10:04

Dixie, sure... no problem man.



proline... Yes, because I will only deal with builders that are financially sound. If you hear of any, or even one, please let me know.



All information will be treated in the stictest confidence. We don't want everyone knowing who is financially sound... The Authorities will issue them with big Tax demands, and then my business will have no builders. Can you see the problem if we don't keep things quiet?

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 10:06

Pinkchilli I would love to but the rip off estate agents here would put it out of business fairly pronto...esp the british ones, but I wish you well if you decide to go ahead

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 10:15

Dee



If you were a new customer, who would you use; my new estate agency business that only dealt with reputable builders and you were also required to pay NO money until the property was finished (and you had your P2P) or one of the few remaining agents?



Oh and I'm looking for advocats that would offer a "Duty of Care" to my customers. Nothing too complicated, perhaps just putting my customers name on a pre-printed sales contract and filling in the gaps.



Don't forget, the advocats would not have too much work to do as P2P would already been obtained.



I think everything should also be on re-cycled paper. Soemthing someone said to me anout "not being worth the paper it's written on"....



This will stop anyone saying this again.

cyprusishome


Joined: 31/03/2007
Posts: 2381

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 10:42

Brilliant idea, when are you holding interviews for shop managers.



Also who do you want the cheque made payable to for me to invest. I can assure you that it will not bounce much!!!!

markvpiazza


Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 530

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 10:52

Sounds great



If the estate agency biz doesn't work out you can just convert the units to be restaurants/supermarkets/yapi market or whatever else everyone else is doing that month ;)



No need for re-training, the same staff we be able to do everything needed

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 10:59

10 Estate Agencies you say...?

Will there be adequate parking for the 30 black,high end,imported 4x4's that will be a necessary part of the job?

PIPIE


Joined: 05/01/2008
Posts: 5499

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:08

Sounds good.



Pink chiili wrote

I will ONLY deal with reputable developers/builders who are financially sound and can prove they have had NO problems



By now there is plenty of evidence to help you with this , start as you mean to carry on and i feel sure if you are reputable you will be on to a winner , also in the present climate re property in the TRNC there is only one way at that is def up , now with this sort of business plan that you have set out , adhere to it , and you will not go wrong . Go for it i say !!!!!!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:08

cyprusishome.



Interviews will be at Pia Bella on Tuesday afternoons, between 12 noon and 3pm. Just come along after you've seen Marian Stokes. No need for more than one visit.



Re: Cheque. Please leave blank, but minimum investment £7.52. I do not want to be over-capitalised.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:11

If you're looking for an advocate can I put myself up for the Job. I do not have any qualifications, but then...........

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:13

pinkchilli

are you typing in your sleep?

or still drinking from the night before?

lol.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:13

Mark.



Thanks for your advice. I never thought it might fail. I could always use the upstairs of the shops for the "alternative" businesses.



However, I feel your second comment re: staff training is a tiny bit flippant. I feel staff training to be vitally important. An administrator becoming a chef: an office junior becoming a waiter. Highly improbable.



Next thing, we'll be having landowners becoming developers, or farmers becoming builders. I think this is unlikely.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:17

cronos.



S..t I forgot about parking. I have decided to open double-fronted shops. This will allow more space for brand new vehicles.



I'm now looking for an official in the Customs Department. I need to be able to import these vehicles and somehow avoid, sorry wrong word, I mean get around legally, Import Duties.



I would think you'd be a suitable member of staff due to your initiative. How did you put in a "smilie"?

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:19

PIPIE



Thanks for your support.



You are correct. The only way is up! (Sing along if you know the words, if not, pretend you're at Karaoke).

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:22

colon hyphen right bracket



: then - then ) typed together

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:24

No1Doyen



How can you be a Forum Admin and an Advocat (with or without qualifications, this is not important)?



My only concern re: Advocat is a "Duty of Care"







































TO ME





Oh S..t. I'm slipping. Now I'm beginning to act like everyone else. Where are the pills and the Gin? No, not that Lord Jim stuff, I want the good stuff.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:29

firestarter.



I'm able to do both. That's why I feel confident with my new business.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:31

cronos



Brilliant. You've just been promoted to a "Gold Level Member".



Please send membership fee and joining fee in Euros (cash only please).



I'm also beginning to feel like Lilli - A personal response to EVERY message.



I'm going to offer her a job as she would NEVER ignore a message.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:33

message 21. pinkchilli - I want the advocates job !! I need the money.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 11:35

pinkchilli.....would you mind waiting a few days for the fee?



A Nigerian solicitor is transferring half a million dollars into my account for allowing him to use my bank account to get his deceased billionaire oil tycoon's assets out of the country.



Just emailing him my account details now.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 12:57

cronos. Could you lend me a couple of £k

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 13:00

Doyen....Why , are you buying a resale apartment ?....hahaha.....only joking

DONTY


Joined: 07/06/2007
Posts: 534

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 13:39

1% commission!!!!



After the govt take 39% of your commission based on a MINIMUM of 3% of the purchase price you aint gonna have much left are you?



1% of 100k = £1000



- 39% tax on the minimum 3% (of £100k) = £1170



= minus £170 per sale



lets hope your phone bills are low eh!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 14:05

DONTY



I need an Accountant.



Do you have much experience?

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 14:11

cronos



I don't mind waiting a couple of days.



Can I have the money by Tuesday. The Pia Bella would be fine.



These Nigerians are extremely generous. How did they get "your" name when there are businessmen like me looking for some financial help?



I will also be needing cleaners for the offices. Must be able to work when the offices will be closed. References essential. Don't come to the Pia Bella looking like "Fag-Ash-Lil" it might create the wrong impression.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 14:17

No1Doyen.



You can't just have the job without an interview. (Unless you make it worth my while).



Everyone needs the money. Don't act desperate, act like you have loadsamoney. Try spending an afternoon in Bellapais. If that fails, hang around outside the Savoy Hotel pretending you've just won a fortune.



You can read my latest "Personal Development Book". It's called How to win enemies and influence no one". Foreword by mmmmmm, with comments by Macha and Pte Pike. In all good bookshops.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 19:26

Hi Pinkchill Many thanks for the job offer. Will I have my own P.A, and one of those cars that are so popular once your friendly offical has cleared the duty.When can I start.

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 19:36

pinkchilli, put me down for a franchise sounds great //

snakes



Joined: 28/10/2008
Posts: 1512

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 19:53

great idea "pinkchilli" I've been a concord pilot, an astronaught, and am trying for president of Uganda !

coolkid


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 64

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 19:55

you should go for ten years rent in advance but for tax reasons ask for 5% of the total back in cash before you send your cheque and then you deserve a holiday for your hard work

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 20:01

snakes your over qaulified for uganda , go for the usa?

Mindy



Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 20:03

Can just see this at Chateau Lambousa .........Funniest Play ever seen.





Put me down. for the 'Tea Lady' looking like Hilda Ogden from Coronation St (hair curlers included)

snakes



Joined: 28/10/2008
Posts: 1512

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 20:07

rowlo its a good idea but the bloke playing Al Jolson in the new play about the black and white minstrals is not allowed to "black up" so i stand no chance !!!

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 20:11

snakes , as long as you can stand you have a chance /////////

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 22:18

Lilli



Your PA has been appointed. He can work for you between 3pm and 6pm.



He's called James!



PS. He won't work Tuesdays, nor Sunday evenings.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 22:20

rowlo



Franchise - Great idea.



I'll auction them off. Where's Gordon when you need him?

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 22:23

snakes



I'm sorry but I think you're under-qualified.



Concord has an "e" at the end.



Astronaught is spelt, not with a "naught" but with a "naut".



However, I still think you have a chance of becoming President.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 22:24

coolkid



I have an accountant, see an earlier posting, but any advice is welcome.



Perhaps I could do with a Tax Advisor.



You're HIRED!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 22:27

Mindy Message 37.



You can not only play at being Hilda Ogden, but if you need the practise, we still need cleaners.



Tell Grahame from The Chateau to send a message and I'll write his next play.



Now I need script writers as well.



I've nearly solved the unemployment situation in one day. And no one even had to vote for me.

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 22:49

having worked im Mental Health,can do

Assesments.

evaluations.

Referalls

group therapy.

sections.



All Free....over here.....that makes a change....



even 1,2,1,......

rtddci


Joined: 29/12/2007
Posts: 842

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 22:57

I think you will need a website (with forum would be nice), no advertising of course. You must only put completed new builds on, that have PTP, have water and a meter, have electricity and a meter, and have a road, oh and have been fully snagged and finished, turkish title or pre 74 kocan, not on exchange land, near civilisation. Nope, shouldn't take too long to get up and running. What do you think?

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
20/02/2009 23:04

well i know a few Dr.that work in this field..........but

after saying that...the New treatment is Hugg a TREE....

so a field would do and a few olive trees.

that should sort you all out Quite nice i think..



what do you say then all down the park...... tiss goin for nothing.!!

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 01:07

kep your eyes on the notes spider?

SAFFI


Joined: 01/07/2008
Posts: 342

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 01:27

Hey !!

I can do that !!

£30K a week , i,m yours !!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 08:50

Message 46. rtddci.



I believe I may have found a partner.



You have totally understood my business plan. I'm elated.



You can be an equal partner.



If you put up 75% of all the costs, I will give you 25% of the shares. That adds up too 100%. Can't be fairer than that.



What do you say?

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 08:59

Messages 45 & 47. Spider.



Thanks for your comments, but I just don't see any profit in your ideas.



This is NOT a charity. I do enough work for charity as it is. I've been seen in most of the local night-time establishments paying over the odds for their services.



If you asked to see your advocate for a 60 minute meeting, you'd spend 60 minutes with him/her. At the establishments that I go to, I pay for 60 minutes, but after 15 minutes, I'm thinking of my waiting taxi driver and his running meter.



Do you have any experience of night-work, taxi driving? Otherwise I can't think you could be much help.



I believe I've kept 200 Moldovian families out of the poverty trap. And 3 Ukranian ones as well.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 09:07

Message 49. SAFFI.



Does your comment refer to having experience as a patient in the field of Mental Health?



If not, I think you do not realise the seriousness of my business.



Men's Health is an excellent magazine for men. Do you have experience of Men's Health?



Below is a link you might find useful:



http://www.menshealthforum.org.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=1819

cyprusishome


Joined: 31/03/2007
Posts: 2381

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 10:03

You could have Hilda Ogden cleaning and Mrs Overall doing the teas.



Just catching up on this, I really do not think £7.52 is too high for minimum investment, If you drop a couple of quid I am in.

Bradus


Joined: 25/02/2007
Posts: 2641

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 12:31

Just so your sure Pinkchilli,







I'm the one you drop the big brown envelope to.

No envelope, no work permits.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 12:37

Message 53. cyprusishome.



Why does everyone want things cheaper?



If I'd have known people would want to pay less, I would have had a two-tier price list.



Tell you what, as I like you and I think you're a great sport, I'll meet you half way, say, £6.52.



Where do you socialise? I'll meet you there. I've got no premises yet, but I'm about to do a deal for 20 double-fronted shops, so you'll know I'm not going to go to Dubai/Thailand/Bali/Dear old Blighty at the sign of the first problem.



PS. Who is Mrs Overall?



My previous partner was known to be "Allover" me. Any relation do you think?

lovelife


Joined: 07/07/2007
Posts: 231

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 12:55

Mrs Overall a legend in her own maccaroons, worked at the hugely successful Acorn Antiques.



Is the cleaning job still availalble? needed to top up my existing skills and have just graduated from the Kim and Aggie School of home sanitation, what are your thought on cleaning products, eco ones or those that clean but require a facemask and rubber gloves?.

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 14:39

Thanks to all the contributors above. This thread has been great fun for me!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 18:38

Message 56. lovelife.



Where's Acorn Antiques?



Who is Kim and Aggie?



You're asking me about my prefrences for cleaning products! I'm not a professional in that field. That's why I'm looking to employ people to think for themselves.



Jeez!



Perhaps you could ask Cyprus Solutions for their opinion. I understand they're excellent at re-forming drains to take toilet paper.



Could all potential investors and staff members let me have their view on whether they wish to keep their used toilet paper in a nearby bin, or flush it. Your answer could decide the "outcome" of your success.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 18:46

Acorn Antiques is just around the corner from the Crossroads Motel.



Kim and Aggie are a pair of overbearing,matriarchal domestic dominatrix who like to inspect disgusting sanitary appliances.



Hope this helps.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 18:52

Message 57. kaiserphil



Danke für Ihre Bemerkungen.



Können Sie Englisch sprechen?



You are of the Germanic tribe, kaiser?



Your English is excellent. Did you see John Cleese in the episode "The Germans" in Fawlty Towers? I believe it was recently on ZDF. Can you take the piss out off your nationality like us Rostbeevs?



A German with a sense of humour, see below:



Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?



Germans like to march in the shade.

cyprusishome


Joined: 31/03/2007
Posts: 2381

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 19:26

OOOHHHH, could we wear nice uniforms. Would love mini skirt and low cut top and for the ladies....!!!

rtddci


Joined: 29/12/2007
Posts: 842

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 19:39

pinkchilli

Only 75% to be an equal partner? Are you sure that's enough? Don't want you to lose out on the deal. That's not the TRNC way of fair play for expats as you know. I'm a tad worried that the heat in NC especially in the height of summer might affect your acute business acumen (not to mention virility, come to think of it why did I mention virility?) Would Thailand be better?

rtddci


Joined: 29/12/2007
Posts: 842

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 20:20

I've been giving considerable thought to a 'business model' for the new venture now that I'm an 'equal partner.'. I think the standard TRNC one would be the best. We could have lots and lots of employees for a start. Obviously wouldn't want them to 'peak' too early in the day, so can't overload them with 'responsibilities' like having to deal with or be too nice to 'customers'. Likewise, same as the NC parliament, some staff could 'resign' but we would refuse because they wont have written their resignation properly (and we wont tell them the right way obviously). They can then stay at home on full pay and allowances. They could help perhaps on various forums by pretending not to be part of the business but dropping the name in whenever possible.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 20:26

Message 61. cyprusishome.



Do we know each other. Did we once go to a party in Berkshire?



http://www.crossdressers-windsor.co.uk/



If I'm correct you looked gorgeous. How was your last operation?



Mine has nearly fallen off!



I think I'm close to being banned. LOL

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 20:38

Messages 62. rtddci.



75% is a fair deal for your kind and most generous offer.



I'm also concerned about the heat of the summer. I suggest we open at 04:00 until 08:30, then a short break until it gets dark, then carry on until 22:00.



If I've confused you with the 24 hour-clock, just take 12 off any number above 12.



I won't hear a bad word about Thailand. Only today they released that author (how can someone be an author, when they only sell 7 books?) for that law: not allowing criticism of the Thai Royal Family.



I can at least ctiticise the owner of Bo Thai. You give a small portion. There.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 20:48

Message 63. rtddci.



I feel you may be compromising your position as my partner.



Stop giving confidential "Top Secret" information on a Public Forum.



I may have to sack you, on full pay of course, until you are of pensionable age. When will you be 30?



Now I need an advocate with experience of Employment Law. Is there an Employment Law?



Is there any experienced advocates? (With the greatest of respect to my advocate who for the last five years has been a true friend, of his best friend).

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 22:00

pinkchilli, message 60. No chum, I am an old-fashioned anglo-saxon, albeit composed of a confusion of blood. Lived for a while in TRNC, but now moved on.

However, my German drinking partner here loves the John Cleese sketch you refer to ("I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it!"). Contrary to the image of the German race (if there is any such thing!), most of the people I have met have always been ready for a belly-laugh. Maybe that's because I live in Bavaria. I have all of Fawlty Towers on DVD, and my pal has watched the lot.

The French part of me enjoyed your joke about the shade - great stuff!

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 22:02

pinkchilli - just wondering if you and cyprusishome were lumberjacks together? Remember - "high heels, suspenders and a bra"?

Here comes John Cleese again!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 22:12

Messages 67 & 68. kaiserphil.



Bavaria....Laugh.... How can those two words be in the same sentence?



Bavaria....Bier... Same sentence. Sure.



I myself prefer a cool refreshing Kölsch. Tchuz.



I catagora, catigoril, catagaril, deny everything. Don't give him your name Pike!

cyprusishome


Joined: 31/03/2007
Posts: 2381

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 22:13

And the last line that finishes off the soft men.



"wish i'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!!"



And no, I am not a bl***y southerner thank you!!!!!!



Still want in on the business though, £6.50 for a share seems good value to me. Lets shake at Pia Bella on Tuesday!!!!!! But only if dressed appropriatley.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 22:21

Message 70. cyprus is home.



My most sincere apologies. I must have you confused with another leggy bearded blonde.



Below is the correct link, as I remember now, it was in Manchester.



http://lgbthmuk.blogspot.com/2008/11/manchester-marks-transgender-day-of.html



See you at the Pia Bella. We'll shake in the gents. I'll shake yours if you'll shake mine. I'm having my make up done first. Shall I book a room? Or do you prefer a sweetie little boy?



Alright Forum Admins. Just issue the 1-week ban. ("I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it!"). Never one to waste a good line. Sniff, sniff.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 22:29

Good news.



My first customer has agreed to see me next January.



He is married to a very famous soap actress. Have you heard of Samantha Janus in Eastenders?



Well, her new husband, who has agreed to keep her surname for the sake of her two children by a previous partner, will be here next year.



Many thanks to my first customer Hugh.



His cousin from Hartlepool will be visiting as well. I look forward to meeting Mr. Isaac Hunt.



Where's my ban? Not even a warning! Are the FA all asleep, or laughing?

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 22:57

therapy.starts as the Olive Grove..and if your game for a laugh.!!!..its first to that olive tree....you can ofcourse Dress as you wish...















Spider...

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 23:02

what are you on i want some. will you keep us supplied with the job please. this is just to reassure you that i do respond to every message in case you forget me xxx

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 23:02

pinkchilli, message 71 - don't forget, more than 2 shakes and you're playing with it!

PS - Bavaria and schnitzel go well together!

witchfinder



Joined: 10/04/2008
Posts: 155

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 23:07

I'd love to invest, but only when they let you out of the Asylum and straight jacket so you can sign the contract......

tonni


Joined: 07/12/2008
Posts: 178

Message Posted:
21/02/2009 23:36

what a laugh,,,,,,on a cold wet saturday night,,,,thanks.

cyprusishome


Joined: 31/03/2007
Posts: 2381

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 00:11

pinkchilli



I sincerly hope you know what will happen when you invite someone from Hartlepool.



If not you better get your sailor suit on and start the dance.

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 00:15

pinkchilli - this comes from Bavaria especially for you and cyprusishome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zey8567bcg

Nunu1


Joined: 31/03/2008
Posts: 536

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 04:17

PinkChilli, I think you have a great idea!.....If you could get all parties to cooperate and in Particular the TRNC Government and their Admin offices you would have a Prestige winning Business!!!!



Love the idea,.....Its such a bleedin mess property purchase in TRNC...With respect and without Prejudice if the TRNC Gov could get their act together and prove to the World (Respect for Mr Talat...Done a good job so far) that they are efficient and organised and want a livable workable solution I honestly believe they would be on a winner.....THE RED TAPE needs to be cut and a simplified system sorted once and for all!



How arse about face is it that you view, like, go to the Advocate, sign a contract, place your deposit..........................................OH and at some stage......2 YEARS LATER Fill out a PTP Permissions to Purchase form!!!!!!!!!!!



So called Lawyers...miss just a minor part of the process PTP!



And then you wait and sweat on what should be a simple process!

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 09:47

pinkchilli

what are you smoking in your nargile?

more than fruit tobacco i guess.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 09:49

Message 73. Spider.



Do you mean The Olive Tree Restaurant?



I think you are on the wrong thread.



The best and worst restaurants, if they haven't been closed down yet, can be found elsewhere on this Forum.



Enjoy your Sunday lunch. I'm off for mine later.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 09:59

Message 74. Lilli.



"What are I on I want some"



Lilli darling, is this a question (What are you on) or is it a statement (...I want some). As this is a question from me to you, I must end it with a questionmark ?



Rest assured, you and James have a position within my organisation, just as soon as I've met my investors on Tuesday.



Watch this and I'll cry with you.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spI0ZT4DoAI



Will Guido make Pasta Madame Butterfly 15 ytl

Fresh butterfly shaped pasta with asparagus tips,

peas, fresh mint and cream.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 10:07

Message 75. kaiserphil.



No, I didn't know "Your Rule" about more than two shakes and you're playing with it.



I will, bow down, very low, to your greater understanding of these matters.



As mmmmmm would state: "Can you provide the link?"



Veal schnitzel, a slice of lemon, a little sprig of parsley, some saute potatoes, (fresh not frozen) and some asparagus with hollandaise. I'm in "Heaven".

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 10:09

Message 76. withfinder.



Can I give you power of attorney?



"tighter gaurd, tighter"



"OOOH That's better"

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 10:14

Message 71. tonni.



Are you a man tonni, with feminine tendancies, or are you a female that likes to have a man's name?



I could have checked out your profile, but so many people hide behind another identity. Especially the retired married ones from Arapkoy!



Either way, I'm cool. Do you like to watch, or get really involved.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 10:20

Message 78. cyprusishome.



Is HE from Hartlepool? No, not Mr Peter Mandleson, but that other great character, Pte Pike.



I checked out Hartlepool on Trip Advisor, I got the following message:



Hartlepool is famous for allegedly executing a monkey, the sole survivor of a shipwreck, during the Napoleonic Wars. Not knowing what a Frenchman looked like, and with the monkey unable to defend himself against accusations of spying, the townspeople supposedly hanged the monkey.



Nice place. Never slag off the way animals are treated in the TRNC again.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 10:21

Message 79. kaiserphil.



Brilliant video. I don't know how they all kept a straight face?

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 10:25

Message 80. Nunu1.



Thanks for your comments.



After reading them, I think I'll need professional in the PR Industry.



I would hate for people to get the wrong message from me.



I was thinking of asking DONTY, see message nr. 28. But he may be too busy.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 10:32

Message 81. firestarter.



Firstly may I humbly suggest you consider a change of name. It's innapropriate at this moment in time. Not your fault, but, nevertheless....



Secondly, I've never smoked. What is a Nargile.



All I could find on Google was this Hebrew song:



Hava nagila, hava nagila

Hava nagila venis'mecha



Hava neranena, hava neranena

Hava neranena venis'mecha



Uru, uru achim

Uru achim belev same'ach, etc, etc.



For a 92 second video, click below and sing along.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6RuURE9Y44

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 22:23

Dear Sir

Further to your request for business partners and investment in your Estate Agency business. I may not have a lot of money to invest following the recent stock market crash and trusting my friend Mr Mehmet Madoff but I do have a wealth of ideas to bring to the tables (especially those with that round wheel and that funny ball thingy).

Have you considered installing fruit machines in every office?

Rather than a cash payout, how about 3 bells and you get PTP? 3 cherries and you win an electric meter? This could prove very exciting and draw the punters in.

Yours hopefully

A cricket enthusiast

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
22/02/2009 23:33

pinkchilli, hey, just back from Domino restaurant in nearby village. Wiener schnitzel 'Wiener Art" (means wiener schnitzel, but made with pork!). How do they mean anybody to eat that? I had a rumpsteak, almost the size of the (huge) plate. Saute potatoes underneath covered the plate in a huge pile.

My German pal went for a 'small' dish. My dog couldn't have managed it!

My gal had the schnitzel. Two huge schnitzels, the dog will get one tomorrow. She ordered a salad instead of potatoes, it was enormous.

Yeah, Ich bin stuffed! Just having a well-deserved drink at home.

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 00:40

Pinkchilli



I want to offer some help and advice



I'd suggest that you also rent the two shops on either side of your proposed establishments. You know how the locals home in on all sucessful businesses and open up next door and do the same thing. I think a Barbers one side and a Pizza restaurant the other will be sufficient to throw them of your trail.



I'd be careful though because your business plan may breach local unfair competition rules. Now this is where your luck is in because my cousin................



Also, when considering a name for the business, be very careful. The local copyright laws are stringent. Best thing to do is to submit 10 different names to companies house and let them choose the one that is available but beware, names that include any reference to property, legal, fair, honest etc. breach current regulations



Are you sure that you will able to secure all the required empty premises?

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 00:41

Don't forget premises with letterboxes are out and the obvious requirement of bullet proof glass to the front facade.



Finally, have you put in place a contingency plan to deal with overtrading? A business plan so well thought out and planned will be mobbed from day one.



Finally, I'd like to put myself forward for consideration as your business consultant. My previous posts include one on the best butchers in Ozankoy, two on that nice Russian girl from Karsiyaka, another on where to buy the cheapest ant-itch cream and a penicillin shot and of course, this one.

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 07:29

pinkchilli

if you don't know what a nargile is, then i guess your not ready to do business in the trnc just yet,lol.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 08:21

Message 91. Hector.



Do you know where these machines can be purchased?



I need 10, but the third reel cannot have a bell on it, as PTP cannot be made available that easily.



Also I require them to take only Euro notes. Those new 50 Turkish Lira notes will do. Just as they do in the Dark Side.



I have found three shops in the South that have bought my NEW fraud detection note machines. They detect all fraudulent notes except the new TL.



More info at Pia Bella tomorrow. Initial costs for the info of one shop is $500. 3 shops $1,000. US dollars only.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 08:29

Message 92. ksiserphil.



I remember "VWiener Art" had a chain of restaurants in Germany. Are they still going?



Also, I have one word for you, (Everyone else can Google it): Bratkartoffeln.



Have you eaten Gegrillte Schweinshaxe mit Flönz, Zwiebeln und warmen Käse gedeckt, dazu Rotkohl und kartoffelpüree? Sehr Lecker.



Happy Karneval.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 08:39

Message 93. Washerman.



Do you work for the Government in some some of "Cleaning" capacity.



Please don't take offence - I do not mean in some lowly Hilda Ogden type position, but much higer up in the "Laundry... wink, wink, Department".



In time I will need someone to do my WASHING. I need to clean my incredible profits.



You sound like my man.



Great idea about ajacent shops. Brilliant idea about barbers and Pizza. Should I "knock-thru" to these shops, so customers can nip in, without nipping out. No offence to any Japanese customers? What do you think?



Your cousin, is he also in the cleaning industry, or just a Minister?



I have thought of a name, but I am willing to chage it. The name is unimportant, because I can always register one name, and trade in another. My mate "Marky" told me how to do this. Or I can always use the wife's details. She hasn't got any serious complaints against her (yet).



To locate the premises, I will need the help of unpaid agents

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 08:54

Message 94. Washerman.



Slow down with your posts. Your posting nearly as much as me (and Lilli when she can post).



I know your keen, but we mustn't rush into these things. Yavaş Yavaş.



It took me a couple of minutes to work out about the letterboxes and then the penny dropped. Do you really think we need to be so safety conscious?



Bullet proof glass and all vehicles without doubt. I don't want a member of staff who has a vague similarity to me to borrow my car (with the obligatory personal plate) and get blasted at.



Do you think where living in some sort of unregulated country, with officials that can be bought off with the promise of a visit to Titanic/Lipstick/etc?



Just because the casinos generate more income for the Government than all the other taxes put together. There's nothing wrong with a little light "Relief".



"Contingency plan for overtrading" Of course I've thought of this. Just expand until I'm El Presidente.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 09:03

Message 94 (continued). Washerman.



I was able to find the post about Steve "Liasons" The butcher, but after an exhasting search, was unable to find any relevance to "Russian girls in Karsiyaka".



I have no interest in anti-scratch cream or penicillin. Will you require your own office (sterilised).



PS. I make the funnies! Tammam. But I could do with the help of a scriptwriter. LOL.



No mention of me last night at the Kodak Theatre. They are not very adventurous in the choice of catagories. Slum Dog Millionaire... They should have seen how the labourers lived when my property was being built. And I won't mention of where they shat. No I don't have a lithp. I can thpeak pwoperly. Can't white with a lithp though.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 09:08

Message 95. firestarter.



I see you have still not changed your name.



Have you been to that cafe (run by that Fiskos bloke with the big bike) in the harbour?



All their customers are smoking hibbly bibblies with some funny dope smelling gear.



I wanted to try it once but he asked if I wanted tie-back and tassles, or just black-outs. What is he on?