Have you lived in another country?

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 22:51

Have you lived in another country before coming to The TRNC?



If so, which country/countries and for how long?



I think, IMHO, that if you have lived "abroad" your relationship can take the occasional strain in the TRNC.



I base this assumption on the following:



Having experience of knowing what it is like to be a foreigner.



Learning how to live without lifelong friends.



Not having your family around.



The adaptation required for a change of basically, everything.

lulubell


Joined: 18/11/2008
Posts: 595

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 22:55

hi pinkchilli



i have lived in london and then italy for a number of years before coming to northern ireland and then hoping all goes well trnc in july.



lived in italy for 9 years have to say that was the hardest 9 years for me really wasnt what i expected it to be. glad to be away, visit as a tourist but nothing more.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 23:01

Lulubell....were your problems strictly to do with Italy as a country,or living abroad generally?

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 23:07

i've lived in America, South Africa, Denmark, Germany and Cyprus....guess i'm just a gypsy!

lulubell


Joined: 18/11/2008
Posts: 595

Message Posted:
23/02/2009 23:10

well i think for me it was a number or things



1) the mentality of people very closed mentality



2) the red tape nothing was straightforward, after trapsing round the city to get a stamp have it stamped and get another document for example when in uk we are prob used to picking up the phone to do such things



so i would say more to do with the country rather than living abroad also i had my family with me which makes life easier i think. also the particular area i was from was not really open to outsiders very few foreign people and if there were they did not have the same opportunites as the italians for example my daughter went to a private nursery/primary school of 1200 children 2 which were foreign.

phylray



Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 00:43

I have lived in Istanbul (3 years) United Arab Emirates (4 years)

Bahrein (2 years) N.Cyprus (2 years ongoing) Returned to Scotland

and also lived in England years ago. Didn't know a word of Turkish when

I went to Istanbul but you very soon learn when you have to buy food etc.

& nobody speaks your language!

Turtle


Joined: 28/05/2007
Posts: 2669

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 00:46

If you have lived in the UK for the past 12 years its like living in 2 totally different countries !!

delonghi


Joined: 13/09/2008
Posts: 30

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 01:15

I never live in uk

i think 4 diffrent countrys not 2

scotlands englands waleses an irishland



my frien translate somtime an types but now we partd soo sad

it bigs problem for me

lik tis bord.

delonghi


Joined: 13/09/2008
Posts: 30

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 02:24

he no pay rent an tak my ak47 to.

delonghi


Joined: 13/09/2008
Posts: 30

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 02:28

i no go work tomoro hav big job hsh hsh mor pays

shhhhh uzi in bakyard

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 07:52

delonghi.



I have one of your coffee machines. Very good.



Can I ask you a question? That wasn't it.



How come your English has degenerated so much in such a short time? I have looked at your profile and some of your recent posts are gramatically excellent.

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 09:24

lulubell

it sounds similar to living here,lol.

i guess living in the village is a little different to living with the expats.

it has take me some while to understand the thinking of the people in our village.

racism is also a factor, but only a small minority of people.

even some of our returning tc friends have found it hard to cope with, when they were born in the very same village.

one friend has left and is now living in turkey. the other family are also looking to leave.

for us we are in it for the long hall.

we have some very good friends who look after us, so we have been lucky.

without them we wouldn't still be here.

not what you know , as who you know.

the way of life is very different.

but you do learn to adapt.

its all about learning and repecting each other.

everyone in our village is crazy, you have to be to live here,lol.

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 09:28

Pink chilli me thinks we have a windup star on the loose

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 09:29

I have lived for a short time ....well 9 months ....in the south and also in Spain, which I loved..

lulubell


Joined: 18/11/2008
Posts: 595

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 09:34

hi firestarter



how are you, sounds similiar to italy, although im glad i had that experience because it does teach you that things are not always available asap, im looking forward to living in trnc have been backwards and forwards all my life. Yes the racism issues sometimes are hard when your made to feel like an outsider, even though i am half italian it was still really hard. I do love italy but like i said just as a tourist and not to live. Friends are always important like you say to keep you sane..lol



i know its going off thread but i sent you an email re lulu my bulldog did you recieve it? (it was returned nce due to wrong email but think i sent it to correct one second time)



thanks

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 13:25

lulubell

i have sent you two emails now.

correct email is sharpeisara@hotmail.com

if that helps, or give me a call.

scoobydoo


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 2434

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 16:36

My family have lived in England, Wales , belguim, germany, kenya, italy, ayden and one week in cyprus in 1973, we were shipped back to UK once the UK forces realised their mistake. My parents were in the airforce and as such we obviously travelled and I can honestly say, after talking to my mum, yes it is hard work but it is up to you to make the most of it and to try and integrate as much as is possible. I have felt a foreigner at times but these days I feel the foreigner when I go back to Manchester! Firestarters message is an excellent example of trying to integrate with the locals and my parents always made sure we did the same, and whilst it is hard they will start to respect you as you will them and their customs. Living within an expat community does not allow you to understand the country you have decided to make your home as very often expats want things to be the same as in UK, and it just isn't.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 20:27

Hi like scoobydoo I have also lived in various countries as my father was in the Army and it is hard work changing schools etc and adapting to new customs but you soon learn. I have lived in Ireland England Wales, Malta , Aden Kenya, Germany Cyprus before the troubles,, Hong Kong, Bahrien. You have to make the very best of each situation. I am glad that I have been a gypsy . We were always encouraged to mix with the locals when ever possible. I guess I was luckier than some service children as the regiment shipped out as a unit so my friends from the regiment went to the same places.Perhaps if I had done all this travelling as an adult I would say you are correct in your assumption Pinkchilli that you do take on a different perspective and view things differently. Too many people wish to retain Little Britian which you just cannot do. I love going back to Wales as nothing changes there so I never feel like an outsider. I think someone said on the other post if the relationship is

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 20:29

not good before you move then it does not stand much chance of improving. To many outside influences and lonliness coupled with the stress of adapting to the way of life. take care lilli xxxxxx

scoobydoo


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 2434

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 21:17

Hi Lilli,



I bet like me you cannot even imagine anyone staying in one place all their life? Part of you is the experience of moving around and it allows you to adapt easier to anywhere as the song goes 'where ever I lay my hat is my home' or something like that. You adapt because that is always what you have done and I now find I am able to do this as an adult and I am glad of my experiences and thankfully have learnt from them.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
24/02/2009 22:24

Hiya Scooby I agree whole heartily with you but Im running out of hats. You are so right. It used to worry me that I went to 13 schools in as many countries but hey did we have a good education. The mainly RAF schools i went to where so far ahead of any british school I went to.At least we couldnt fail in geography.You just knew when the big boxes arrived you were going again. I remember my last school Hagley RC they didnt know which stream to put me as in thier words I was 3 years ahead but I ended up as head girl. So it did us no harm. Come in and have a coffee or glass of wine. I would love to meet someone who has been to the same places as me xxxxxxxx

scoobydoo


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 2434

Message Posted:
25/02/2009 07:01

Hi Lilli, will call in for a coffee one day, that's a promise.

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
25/02/2009 08:45

yes i find staying in one place wierd.

i went back to the uk a few years ago for my dads cremation.

i met up with people i hadn't seen for years, they lived in the next street to where they were brought up, married the guy from around the corner and had a few sprogs.

i was shocked that they hadn't moved on.

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
25/02/2009 09:07

Re msg 23 . Funny that , for some people who have been brought up in that kind of insular sort of society , that they don't feel the need to spread their wings . My best friend when i was growing up has never been out of Swansea , where she was born , can you imagine that . i was the first in my family to spread their wings .My parents were horrified when i told them i wanted to do my training in Worcester and they tried everything to dissuede me . i was the first one and the last in our family to do anything of that sort of thing . When i used to tell them about our holidays and where we would go they used to think we were like the intrepid explorers . Very scarey

Have a good day , Simbas

CarrieRBag



Joined: 23/12/2008
Posts: 1374

Message Posted:
25/02/2009 09:55

I have iived in many places in UK incl Northern Ireland, South Cyprus, Germany for 5 years, Hong Kong (total of 3.5yrs), Gibraltar 2 years, Brunei (3 mnths), Spain where we have a house and now here. Seems our donkey gave up the ghost here!

scoobydoo


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 2434

Message Posted:
25/02/2009 14:30

Re msg 23 and 24. I lived in the manchester area but managed to get myself a job in Chapeltown, Leeds where there was this woman in the office who could not get over the fact that I travelled everyday to Leeds to work, it only took an hour in those days as there was much less traffic about. This woman decides to get married, neither she nor her husband to be have ever left Chapeltown area so they decided that if I could travel daily to Leeds they could go venture further afield for their honeymoon so they bravely booked a week in ..................................















Blackpool!!

the butler


Joined: 22/06/2007
Posts: 1958

Message Posted:
25/02/2009 15:57

Hi All,



I am originally from the North East of England but I have lived in some beautiful parts of England and Scotland. I have lived in Southern Ireland and Italy where we were for 5 years. As my husband is a butler, we have always lived in beautiful homes in this time. We hope to retire in a couple of years to our bungalow in Esentepe. I think because we have moved around so much we will adapt fairly easy to life in Cyprus. I met a lady in the tax office in Girne last year and she gave me some good advice. Only try and do one task at a time. If you try and go to the bank and to the tax office in the same day, it will end up wearing you out, unless you speak the language fluently. It was like this in Italy and we quickly learned not expect to get anything done in a hurry.



The Butlers wife

stellasstar1



Joined: 02/07/2008
Posts: 1519

Message Posted:
25/02/2009 16:04

I have lived in many places in England and in California for 3 years in the 70's, and now here for 3 years. I also can't imagine living in the same place your whole life, but then we are all different.



Here I live with the locals rather than the English, and am always being told off by them for not being sociable enough, i.e. not going for coffee everyday, but apart from that, it is easy to fit in. I find Cypriots extremely hospitable and welcoming, and they find my attempts at the Turkish language, something to give them a good laugh each day. I mean that in a nice way, as they have so much patience, and make me repeat something over and over again until I get it right.



I think for a lot of relationships, it's being together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and if that is going to cause a problem, it would happen here or anywhere.

James


Joined: 03/05/2007
Posts: 15

Message Posted:
26/02/2009 12:51

Have lived in Zambia (76-82) and Zimbabwe (83-88) currently in Oman since 88. Enjoyed all three!