Arsenal to re-name new striker

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
09/03/2009 13:51

Branding experts at North London showbiz giants Arsenal have advised manager Arsene Wenger to re-name their latest attraction, to make him sound less offensive.

The name Arshavin, written across the back of a replica shirt, could be commercially damaging, experts say. So they advised the star's agent to change his showbiz name to the anglicised version, Backsackencrack.

"Andrey is very proud of his family's heritage. They've been in the bottom smoothing business for His father was an arse shaver, and so was his father's father. And his father's father's father. It's a trade that has been in his family for generations. But by changing his name to a more modern, anglicised version of the trade, we can achieve a great compromise," he said.

"We are sensitive to tradition," said an Arsenal spokesman, "but we're all keenly aware that money takes precedence over everything. At the end of the day, that's all that matters.."