Marriage - an outdated institution?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 09:41

Does the forum think that marriage is an outdated institution?



Is co-habitation replacing the institution of marriage, and will this affect the security and stability of children?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 10:58

I'm not sure what the figures are for Marriage but I'd guess that they have decreased, and still decreasing, over the last 10 - 15 years.



In a loving relationship the children will not be adversely affected. My take is that it's only the children of one parent families that could have a feeling of non security and stability.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 11:00

These are the figures from the National Statistics website:



The number of marriages in England and Wales that were the first for both partners peaked in 1940 at 426,100 when 91 per cent of all marriages were the first for both partners. This number has since fallen to 143,440 in 2007, accounting for 62 per cent of all marriages.

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 11:01

I think marriage is great, excuse me a minute, yes Jean said I have put the right answer.

P

louthlass


Joined: 09/11/2008
Posts: 271

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 11:24

No it certainly is not an outdated institution. We have been married for 52 years this year and would not have it any other way.

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 11:49

I think marriage is a great institution.



I've been married twice, but will probably stick with no 2.



After 1 or 2, they do start to get a bit expensive.



I have also found that the best sex is with married women. o





Rob

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 12:21

IMO I think there is more of an uncertainty in a co-habitating couple than a married couple about one leaving, and maybe could effect any children who think it would be better for the parents to be married.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 21:09

I agree woodspeckie, but why are the marriage figures getting lower and lower? Do you think it has anything to do with the benefit system?

wynyardman



Joined: 15/12/2007
Posts: 4580

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 21:16

Marriage is the most supportive, balanced way for a loving couple , wanting children. to cohabit. 41 years for the Lady Wyn and I.



There are cohabiting couples, who are members of this site, that more than adequately prove the point.



wyn

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 21:28

We have been married for 41 years but as I often tell my husband," don't get complacent, you're only my first husband".



Seriously, I consider myself very lucky to have a good, happy marriage and wouldn't change him for all the gold in the world.

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 21:48

Golden wedding in July, me and two classmates got married on the same day, unfortunately the 2 have lost their husbands in the last 2 years, I thank god I have still got my other half to celebrate with.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 21:55

Bill who wants to live in an insitution. Seriously though I think its the best institution. I agree with most of the comments and my guess back home is the benefit system Maybe this credit crunch will bring familes closer I hope so back to old fashioned values. Maybe they will realise that the sanctity of marriage will give them more security for the children. Even poor Jade wanted to be married before she dies. xxxxx

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 21:58

Paul and I have been together for 23 years and have been married for 20. My son is his stepson and they love each other to bits. He has been a better Dad to our son that his own Father has ever been. I think children need the stability of a Mum and Dad in their lives - having said that, I divorced my husband and married Paul when Daniel was only 8. He's been a better Dad to Dan than his biological Father ever was. Mind you, Paul is one in a million!!



Got to go - I'm filling up now!!!!



J

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 22:02

It's our Ruby Anniversary in January. Hardly had a crossed word. It's all about give and take.

mmmmmm



Joined: 19/12/2008
Posts: 8398

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 22:13

Some GREAT answers here and RESPECT to those who have been together for so long



I'm with Rob re msg 6 - if she'll keep me ;)

AlsancakJack



Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 5762

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 22:14

This is all from a Brit perspective, how about some TC's giving their views.

AJ

mmmmmm



Joined: 19/12/2008
Posts: 8398

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 23:13

or Cypriots, in general ?

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 23:17

You know I think you will find that they are all in it for the money now. The divorce rate here is very igh how is it south 6ms. These ladies here have it made. Man takes mistress wife takes house and every thing else. Family cn help her overcome next xxxx

AlsancakJack



Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 5762

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 23:22

mark

I am not interested in GC's because I do not live amongst them.

AJ

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 23:25

I agree with message 14 its all about give and take. I give and she takes.



Cooper

Macha


Joined: 18/01/2009
Posts: 650

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 23:27

AJ,



No only their property. But seriously though, marriage is the best way IMO. You have to make a bit more effort and it indictae sin public your commitment to you spouse. I'm very surprised at the number of people in TRNC who have been married more than once.

AlsancakJack



Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 5762

Message Posted:
13/03/2009 23:44

John

I do not disagree with marriage and I have only been married once and I am still married to the same woman despite the fact that we have been apart due to my exploits abroad. But I think you are missing the point. What I would like to know is how TC's now look at marriage and I am talking about TC's that have returned to their native land from other countries and also TC's that have been here since British rule and maybe their perceptions of marriage have changed.

kellybelly


Joined: 08/03/2009
Posts: 263

Message Posted:
14/03/2009 00:53

OUTDATED, Not as far as the wife was concerned,she said marriage or else.What could i do with no option.LOL

REGARDS TO ALL PETE

Turtle


Joined: 28/05/2007
Posts: 2669

Message Posted:
14/03/2009 02:03

Outdated...no definitely not.

Its the system around it that is failing, if you make it easy for people to get out then thats what they will will do.

Tiggy


Joined: 25/07/2007
Posts: 1994

Message Posted:
14/03/2009 10:09

As my father told me..........Get married young son.....that way you will have more time to regret it !

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
14/03/2009 18:48

a returning cypriot and friend of our recently got married.

his first wife(turkish) he left her. the second wife tc, was ill and died.

he has now married a turkish wife, number three who is 20 years his junior and we see this ending in disaster.

he married her in a hurry because her family wouldn't like her living in sin as they put it.

yet they don't mind the grandaughter, smoking, drinking and having casual relationships. it just doesn't add up!

but what the hell he is enjoying himself and we will end up picking up the pieces when it all goes wrong.

we have been married for 24 years but i don't have a problem if people just want to live together.

as long as the kids have two loving parents that is all that matters.

it all about personal choice.