Golf Joke, very good

skybluesam


Joined: 24/12/2008
Posts: 206

Message Posted:
19/05/2009 09:40

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, Rather Small.

Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,

This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.



By It's Size I Could Not Guess,

The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,

I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.



My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,

Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,

A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.



It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry,

I Hate Myself And Want To Die.

It Promises A Thing Called Par,

If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.



To Master Such A Tiny Ball,

Should Not Be Very Hard At All.

But My Desires The Ball Refuses,

And Does Exactly As It Chooses.



It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,

And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.

Often It Will Have A Whim,

To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.



With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,

It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,

If Only It Would Find The Hole.



It's Made Me Whi

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 1523

Message Posted:
19/05/2009 09:54

To the nineteenth hole for another BEER

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 9266

Message Posted:
19/05/2009 10:22

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.



His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."



The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years.."

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 9266

Message Posted:
19/05/2009 10:26

A couple of women were playing golf on a Sunday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.



Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.



The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me!", she told him earnestly.



"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.



But she persisted, and finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away an laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She th

Alie121


Joined: 19/05/2009
Posts: 59

Message Posted:
19/05/2009 18:19

i thought it was really good