Balance..........A Kiwi thing!

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 22:39

It is going to be the most glorious spot on Earth; Beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. These people here are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be travelling the World. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving and I'm going to give them this super human, undefeatable rugby team which will be blessed with the most talented, charismatic specimens on the planet and will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed,"Hold on a second, what about the balance, you said there was going to be a balance." God replied wisely,"Look at the irritating loudmouth, know-it-all w**k**s I'm putting in the Country next to them"!

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 22:43

But Richard, Scotland in nowhere near New Zealand

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:27

Now.... I'm deeply deeply offended.

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:34

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.



He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi:

"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Yeah, doin' all right."

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food

and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: "Pr

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:37

continued...



Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and

keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Kiwi: (in a panic) " Don't believe a word he says, that sheep's a bloody liar.."

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:40

Why does a Belgian policeman always has a dog with him when he's working?



Two know more than one.

Mindy



Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:41

Haha that was very good Taraspring

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:47

Just for the homesick Richard..... A Kiwi Quiz

http://homepages.paradise.net .nz/wmg/Sheep.html

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:48

Wellington the Capital named after the Duke is very apt as was the 'boot'. What would I do without a pair?



Richard

Magbs


Joined: 26/02/2009
Posts: 278

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:49

Good on ya!

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:51

Mr Crusader I think you are on the wrong thread. This is not about Belgians!

This is about Richard/Kiwi's and sheep.



Mind you IMO, I don't think a Belgian thread would be very popular.

Who are the Belgians anyway? Were there any famous ones?

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
21/05/2009 23:55

Lots, Sax and the singing Nun!



Richard

Magbs


Joined: 26/02/2009
Posts: 278

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:02

Jean-Claude Van Damme!!!

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:03

RE msg 11, taraspring > Belgians. Were there any famous ones? <



=> O yes! Churchill, Pele, Cruijff, Mrs. Thatcher - and many more.

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:04

It's far worse than I feared.......

Richard are you needing professional help?

Please, please, everyone, be patient, and kind.

Magbs


Joined: 26/02/2009
Posts: 278

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:05

Baldwin, King of Jerusalem

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:15

taraspring



At my age and disposition any help gratefully received.



Richard

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:15

A wish list then Mr Crusader.

decanddyl


Joined: 17/01/2009
Posts: 792

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:17

Query? What is brown all over, fat in the middle and too many of them make you sick. Answers on a postcard.

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:27

Richard, I can speak on your behalf! LOL



Joking aside, and being serious now, I am concerned.



Would it be of any help to open a "Problem Page" thread?

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
22/05/2009 00:28

tara love it keep them coming. richard are you alright xxxxx