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Navek
Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 17:10 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 1 of 25 in Discussion |
| Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you
and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals .
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
cont..... |
Navek
Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 17:11 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 2 of 25 in Discussion |
| 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor
gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
Cont .... |
Navek
Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 17:12 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 3 of 25 in Discussion |
| 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.' |
daisy dukes
Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 17:16 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 4 of 25 in Discussion |
| hehehehehehe.....
DD |
twoexpats
Joined: 09/04/2009
Posts: 189
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 17:18 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 5 of 25 in Discussion |
| Excellent. Had tears rolling down my face. |
The-Wicks
Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 17:20 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 6 of 25 in Discussion |
| Made me chuckle out loud!!!
J |
AndyR
Joined: 23/04/2009
Posts: 317
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 17:58 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 7 of 25 in Discussion |
| Brilliant !! |
smithy
Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 18:01 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 8 of 25 in Discussion |
| Superb joke  |
dizzycows
Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 18:06 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 9 of 25 in Discussion |
| Need more of this, great stuff, husbands should be baned from shoping full stop!! |
dizzycows
Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 18:09 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 10 of 25 in Discussion |
| Need more of this, great stuff, husbands should be baned from shopping full stop!! |
Lilli
Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 18:17 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 11 of 25 in Discussion |
| excellent loved it. made me laugh. banned from shopping should be banned full stop. (only joking) xxxx |
Coachie
Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 18:30 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 12 of 25 in Discussion |
| Paddy was taken to hospital with two very badly burned ears.
Doctor asked him how it happened.
Paddy replied"I was in the laundry room doing some ironing when the Phone rang and forgot myself and picked up the iron"
"So what about the other ear " asked the doctor.
" The bugger rang back"... |
No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 19:12 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 13 of 25 in Discussion |
| Navek. Another superb joke. Well done. ) |
No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 19:13 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 14 of 25 in Discussion |
| Coachie. A cracker!! ) |
jock1
Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 20:37 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 15 of 25 in Discussion |
| Filth!!!!! |
kelly25
Joined: 29/05/2008
Posts: 365
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 20:54 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 16 of 25 in Discussion |
| thats great!! |
decanddyl
Joined: 17/01/2009
Posts: 792
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 21:11 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 17 of 25 in Discussion |
| both jokes made me laugh out loud |
phylray
Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 21:23 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 18 of 25 in Discussion |
| Very true. Men are miles apart from women when shopping.
You only want them around to agree with what you've chosen.
They want to go straight to the thing they want, and get it, no
looking around, etc. |
canyavuz
Joined: 22/02/2009
Posts: 363
Message Posted:
27/05/2009 23:47 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 19 of 25 in Discussion |
| Nice one.........Tesco is a VERY depressing place. Full of unmotivated staff. |
negativenick
Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023
Message Posted:
28/05/2009 08:53 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 20 of 25 in Discussion |
| not a good joke Navek - a Neg Nick 2/10 - could do better.... |
dizzycows
Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736
Message Posted:
29/05/2009 11:34 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 21 of 25 in Discussion |
| Stopped shopping at Tesco 3yrs ago and only now shop at Lidles. As much smaller and not so much choice so dont fill trolly up with stuff that I thought was essentual three years ago when now I find it wasnt essentual ,if you get my drift.
Savings are enough to buy flight tickets out to N.Cypus at least once a year.
Tesco and the larger supermarkets are very clever at 'pinching' our hard earned money. |
nico44
Joined: 21/05/2009
Posts: 99
Message Posted:
29/05/2009 23:49 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 22 of 25 in Discussion |
| lol very funny |
nico44
Joined: 21/05/2009
Posts: 99
Message Posted:
29/05/2009 23:52 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 23 of 25 in Discussion |
| hi dizzy i agree i shop at Aldi and it saves me a packet these big stores like to hook you in to impulse buying and add on sales. So your right small is better Nico |
Checkmate
Joined: 31/08/2008
Posts: 140
Message Posted:
30/05/2009 02:02 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 24 of 25 in Discussion |
| Celtic are apparently looking for a a Celtic minded coach. Someone who understands their proud history....... Fritzel, Jackson & Glitter are top of their wanted list!!! Ouch!! |
dizzycows
Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736
Message Posted:
30/05/2009 12:51 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 25 of 25 in Discussion |
| Hi nico44, yep we are the winners, I have sold into the big supermarkets and know the way they work to get the housewives to think they are saving money, big con really. lol x |
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