being british and proud!!!!

ukturk



Joined: 01/09/2007
Posts: 1974

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 13:25

hi guys

i found this segment on the net on being british and thought it was true but also quite funny take a look and see what you guys think



Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch

American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.



Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.



Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.



NOT TO MENTION...



3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.



142 Brits were injured in 2002 by not removing all pins from new shirts.



58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.



31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.



19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.



British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.



18 Brits had serious burns in 2006 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.



A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.



5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

In 2006 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Colliedog


Joined: 16/03/2007
Posts: 132

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 13:30

Hi UKT,



Now you know why we want to get away from here.



Regards

CD

TimothyCadman


Joined: 13/12/2007
Posts: 1040

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 13:50

You quote "Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. "



This is actually a sercurity issue. As the majority of drugs used by a pharmacy are Prescription Only makes them ideal for thefts and breakins as there is a large black market for certain drugs. In a supermarket if a theif has to rob the pharmacy and make it out of the building, with the Pharmacy at the rear they'll think twice.



"Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke."



As a special treat diabetics could eat this. The amount of sugars/carbohydrates in the food are of a reasonable level for a meal and the fries contain no sugars, only carbohydrates.

A normal coke contains 11g of sugar per 100ml. The recommended intake of sugars per day, for a normal healthy person, is 90g. If they had a normal coke then their blood sugars are more than likely to go over the top causing them to pass out, enter a diabetic coma, or worse still die.



Maybe Coke, Pepsi and alike should be banned and only their no sugar drinks be made available to the public.

ukturk



Joined: 01/09/2007
Posts: 1974

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 14:08

tim

thank you for your indepth insight in to why supermarkets have chemists at the back of the shop and why people order double burger and chips and diet coke

like i wrote before i found this on the net and it brought a smile to my face so i thought i would share it with the forum and put a smile on some other peoples faces!!!!

Milou


Joined: 15/10/2007
Posts: 425

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 14:08

Here's another one - only in Britain does a joke offend some serious minded person!

Regards

ukturk



Joined: 01/09/2007
Posts: 1974

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 14:15

LOL LOL LOL LOL

yeas i have to agree with you milou!!!!!! maybe some other posters will post and try to school me on the other facts like why people use knives instead of screwdivers or why people use their mouths instead of a bottle opener, or even beter why does pizza come quicker than a ambulance

never mind you cant please or make some people have a giggle

Bradus


Joined: 25/02/2007
Posts: 2641

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 14:18

Excellent.

Whats worrying is that I'm guilty of so many of them!

Jachin



Joined: 05/02/2008
Posts: 99

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 14:24

ukturk

Best laugh i've had for ages

david

Milou


Joined: 15/10/2007
Posts: 425

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 15:17

Bradus



Glad you had the courage to admit to what I was too afraid to say - like the bit about opening bottles with my teeth - I am a fully fledged Brit!

regards

JamesB


Joined: 07/02/2007
Posts: 450

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 15:48

Guilty as charged your honour!

lovingcyprus


Joined: 02/03/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 17:09

Very good ukturk

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 20:37

Hi erkan , had a really good laugh , where do you get them from ? keep on bringing a smile to our faces .

regards pat

gingerballs


Joined: 05/08/2007
Posts: 5

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 21:20

wouldnt av it any other way, dont often contribute but that is funny mate

ronaldo


Joined: 14/11/2007
Posts: 372

Message Posted:
02/03/2008 21:51

thanks ukturk that was brilliant keep them coming.

orangekazzie



Joined: 31/07/2007
Posts: 1091

Message Posted:
03/03/2008 18:20

Ukturk

........and that's the reason why the do gooders have introduced so much Health & Safety into the UK, along with the ambulance chasers to sue everyone because they broke their teeth whilst opening a bottle etc etc....!!

Karen

lisa201168



Joined: 21/12/2007
Posts: 66

Message Posted:
03/03/2008 21:28

Brilliant laugh Ukturk ! keep em coming.