A black day for Garry Monger

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
24/06/2009 18:14

Garry Monger has just got back from renewing his road tax....



Last year he made the huge mistake of leaving his missus in the car when they weighed it.....



Now he has got a 3,000 TL road tax bill.....





Let this be a lesson to us all - if your missus is a chubster, do not let her near your motor at weigh in time.....







Nick

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
24/06/2009 18:17

Once again Gary has been let down by his 'overweight' wife. The poor bloke must be in pieces. He's got to get her on a diet pretty soon or risk losing everything.

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
24/06/2009 19:19

The Eco-System of the Karpaz is under threat, all the donkeys were last seen swimming to Turkey.



This happened a week after Mrs Monger decided to try donkey rides on the beach.



I have also heard she is banned from doing the 'Tandem Paragliding' due to the potential damage to properties in the Lapta area landing site.

karakum5c



Joined: 18/03/2008
Posts: 1021

Message Posted:
24/06/2009 19:45

Leave the poor lady alone your all a bunch of male chauvinist pigs, is there not a gentleman among you ?

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
24/06/2009 20:17

I am further up the social ladder than a mere “gentleman” having received the Queens blade.

However, having the privilege of a knighthood does not exclude me from the circle of the order of avoiding the fat birds.

As a member of a very exclusive order, I salute those who temper the swellings of the fairer sex, with pacification and do good for the cause of the less fortunate who just really have to deal with the fact that their missus’s, Monger’s or not, are bigger than them.

Take in your stride men.



Chegwin. Sir Skogsy’s horse. (who don’t go down the Karpaz no more)

breezyboy


Joined: 14/05/2007
Posts: 1179

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 18:22

karakum5c message 4 - NO

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 18:44

karakum5c. You misunderstand.



We are, in fact, the 'Mrs Monger Appreciation Society'.



She is the mysterious NC equivalent of 'The Stig'!!







Though in her case, the black visor is actually a 'Burger Flap'!





Rob

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 18:58

Saw her step out in front of me whilst driving into town the other day.

I had to stop. Didn’t have enough petrol to drive around her!



Chegs

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 21:27

mmm Mrs M is similar to the Stig ???



One thing is for sure - she couldn't get into the Stigg's jump suit.....

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 21:42

I reckon you're a bit of a chubby chaser on the quiet aren't you Nick ?

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 22:02

Oh you all have me on the floor once again laughing.thanks....so glad just a few select Forum member have seen the weight of me.!!!



Spider.X

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 22:06

You lot are priceless, just what this forum and most of us want, and thats good hearted 'banter' lol for making me laugh,

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 22:22

Gary Mongers missus is so fat that when she swims in the ocean all the whales sing 'WE ARE FAMILY'

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 22:25

hehehe no1,

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
25/06/2009 23:58

Does she go under an assumed name this garry mongers misses? does she write under an assumed name? think I KNOW who she is!!! lol



PS two on this forum comes to mind, in the form of gc sympathy supporters!!

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
26/06/2009 03:32

dizzy - she ain't got a computer....

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
26/06/2009 10:04

I heard Garry Mongers Mrs is so fat that he has to run around the other side of her to check she is not having an affair !

Trudy


Joined: 25/05/2009
Posts: 369

Message Posted:
26/06/2009 10:08

Haha the Monger jokes never cease to crack me up!

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
26/06/2009 12:23

KTHY Internal Memo:



""All Pilots/Fuel Savings/Confidential.""



Fuel savings are paramount.



If you have a Mrs Monger on your boarding list, please request she moves to the rear of the Aircraft to assist shorter Take-off.



For faster descent, request she moves to the front seats.



In-Flight, request she moves to row 25, overwing, in seats A,B,&C for left banking manoeuvres, and seats D,E,&F for right banking manoeuvres.



For her compliance it may be necessary to offer her up to 6 Chicken or Pasta main meals and as many deserts as she requests.



This will still be cost effective.





KTHY Ercan (Not for public release).

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
28/06/2009 09:13

mess 19 - wise words Rob....

loslobos


Joined: 02/04/2009
Posts: 167

Message Posted:
28/06/2009 10:01

Gary's wife is built for comfort not speed by the sound of it !!

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
28/06/2009 11:38

mess 21 - i think she's built for neither....

boysie2670


Joined: 28/01/2008
Posts: 65

Message Posted:
28/06/2009 12:00

Does Monger's Missus have a relative in the US called Hugh Mongers ?

GaryMonger


Joined: 28/06/2009
Posts: 5

Message Posted:
28/06/2009 22:07

I think its high time you people packed it in having a jibe at the wife, the things you say are so hurtful and make my life a misery at times, things aint easy at times.



No matter what the size of someone you can still love them and some men prefer cuddly women.



Please pack it in...

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
28/06/2009 22:21

Must be a 20 a day kebab eater, plenty of those living round my neck of the woods. That's if you can see their necks for the scrub!



Richard

chick


Joined: 02/07/2008
Posts: 323

Message Posted:
28/06/2009 22:28

Wheres NN we seem to have an imposter Msg 24 someone masquerading as Gary Monger

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
29/06/2009 09:35

"Garry Monger" - I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone jumped on the bandwaggon....



You ain't Garry Monger, cos he hasn't got a computer, so go and rip someone elses' identy off you sad man.......



if Garry Monger's Missus finds out what you are up to there will be hell to pay......

keithr


Joined: 20/08/2008
Posts: 720

Message Posted:
29/06/2009 12:29

I've just seen her on Google Earth !!

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
29/06/2009 13:59

re mess 29 - will the moderators please ban this "mrs Monger" - she is an imposter, as the real Mrs M doesn't have a computer.



It is making a mockery out of Cyprus 44....

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 18:09

Google Earth or Monger Earth…Easy mistake.

They both have their own gravity.

Chegs

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 18:19

mess 31 - gets my vote on the daftest post of the week - well done !

tattlad


Joined: 13/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 18:32

It was a black day for Gary Monger's missus also, she told me when she went to buy a new dress that they didn't have her size, but they said they might be able to sew two together for her.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 18:33

tattlad. message 33....... ) )

tattlad


Joined: 13/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 18:38

Monger's missus was in the Old Mill, and sent us a text to say so, and when I texted her back to ask who she was sitting next to so we could identify her easier, she just said she was sitting next to EVERYBODY.

tattlad


Joined: 13/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 18:39

Turkish Airlines also complained about her taking up two seats on their flights.............................. One either side of the Isle.

tattlad


Joined: 13/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 18:42

I also heard that Gary has stopped taking her to the beach......... to many false calls to Greenpeace.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/07/2009 20:24

Ha Ha ........excellent tattlad )