Joke: 'holy prostitutes!'

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 09:31

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 09:32

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?'

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.

‘SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 09:48

Good one Bill

As the saying goes dont believe everything you read )

sheila

yorgozlu



Joined: 16/06/2009
Posts: 4437

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 09:51

Very good,enjoyed reading it,thank you

yorgozlu



Joined: 16/06/2009
Posts: 4437

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 10:11

A little old lady answered a knock on the door to be met by vacuum cleaner salesman



"F**k off"she said



Next thing he tips a bucket of horse sh*t on her hallway carpet &says "if this vacuum cleaner doesnt remove all traces of this horse s**t,I will eat the remainder.



Well ,the old lady says"I hope you are f**king hungry,because the electricity was cut off this morning.

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 14:02

Very attractive girl stars new job in an office.

On the first morning this man comes up and breathes deeply through his nose and says '' Your hair smells lovely ''. He repeats this then walks away.

This goes on for two weeks until she cant take any more and goes to the boss telling him she is making a sexual harrasment complaint.

The boss asks what happened and she explained about this man coming up to her each mornig breathing deeply and saying '' Your hair smells lovely,Your hair smells lovely''.

The boss says that he could not see how this could be sexual harrasment.

The girs says ....... '' It is when it's FRED THE MIDGET ''.

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 14:07

yorgozlu/Carndi

They are the best, especially the little old lady joke it was priceless

sheila

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 16:19

Bill



Been reading 'Decameron' Again?



Richard

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 17:11

Richard, are you a follower of Giovanni Boccaccio?

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 17:54

Film far more pleasurable however, in the same ilk as Chaucer, hard grind to read but had too!



Richard

rocky


Joined: 17/10/2007
Posts: 1749

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 21:18

moderators does this thread serve any purpose they dont get any older jokes than these

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 21:23

Another erudite member who decides to hid his email!



Richard

rocky


Joined: 17/10/2007
Posts: 1749

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 23:05

I choose my friends who have my email address and will continue to do so ...so why would anyone need it? obviously someone looked for it so they have nothing better to do

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 23:18

Well i loved the jokes keep them coming xxx

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
27/07/2009 23:26

I cannot remember whether there was a tale in Decameron based on the 'rocky horror show'? If not, it must have had divine intervention for contact of refusal!



Richard