SaraP


Joined: 30/04/2008
Posts: 295

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 00:02

If you share a computer as a couple, should you have any secrets? Should they hide all their emails from you, or should they let you see them? Clearly they are hiding something if they do not want you to see...

elko2



Joined: 24/07/2007
Posts: 4400

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 00:10

Surely everybody should have some secrets, keep the other side on his or her toes!

If you must really share the same computer, set it up for three users, one for you, one for the partner and one for guests and never tell your password to anybody. The partner can hope to get it his/her sleep. How exciting.

ismet

PS: My wife uses her computer just to write things on Word. So I have no such problems. Thank God for that

mahdel


Joined: 28/05/2009
Posts: 255

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 00:11

I don't know about that. If there's reason to be suspicious and they're hiding something then sure, maybe it's sketchy, but I feel weird having my emails read by my wife despite the fact that they're completely innocuous. I don't think couples should share every single thing, and keeping personal emails separate is clearly within the realm of normal behavior.

minertor



Joined: 14/02/2009
Posts: 1238

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 00:18

My wife and I share one computer, both in TRNC and UK. Our passwords for e-mails are private but I can post on TRNC villa owners under her name and she can post on here in my name. Didn't want to both join the same forum in case you know who accused us of multi id,s. Works ok for us.

SaraP


Joined: 30/04/2008
Posts: 295

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 00:21

elko2..I agree your password should be private, but I do not agree about keeping the other side on his or her toes and keeping secrets. Surely that is being dishonest and they have something to hide.. If you happen to have an outsider/guest using you computer then..yes I agree they should not know the password, but as a couple sharing, surely they should be open and honest.

mahdel


Joined: 28/05/2009
Posts: 255

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 01:44

SaraP. My opinion is you either trust your partner or you don't. I completely trust my partner, and would never check her email even if I could. She equally trusts me and therefore doesn't mind when I don't share my email passwords or email content with her. Either you have a good reason not to trust your partner or you're being paranoid. If yohave good reason not to trust him, by all means demand to see his emails immediately, but realize the potential downfalls if it turns out nothings happened. If not, maybe he's trying to keep something from you that maybe you don't want to know (an anniversary present order perhaps? or a family member who has done something he doesn't want you to know about because it's embarassing?) I know that I keep my email private and would work to keep it that way, but that doesn't mean i have anything to hide besides a few friends/family members' private comments on her or our life that I don't want her to know but wouldn't kill myself if she did.

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 02:11

My husband and I share a computer, I know his password but he doesn't know mine because he is hopeless on the thing and gets me to open his e-mails for him!

waddo


Joined: 29/11/2008
Posts: 1966

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 07:11

So, how do you deal with "Administrator" privilages then? You can have two seperate log in set ups but there has to be an admin log in to cure any problems - who gets to be admin???



Simple, if you trust your wife/husband/partner then you trust them and have only the secrets that you keep in your mind. All the rest is open. How many have joint bank accounts with equaly rights? How many lock the toilet doors? How many keep their phones and PDA's close by and secret? There are lots of little secrets in peoples worlds and everyone should have them.



It makes trying to plan a surprise a really difficult thing when you share your whole world - but it is worth it.

elko2



Joined: 24/07/2007
Posts: 4400

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 07:27

msg. 5

Sarah,

My sincere view is that you should not make your husband feel "under control". By all means have joint bank accounts and always take joint responsibilities for everything but if he likes to be naughty from time to time it is no harm. Home is the place where one is most relaxed and happiest. If you start nagging him it produces results exactly opposite to what you really want. Be tolerant and observe the real love in his eyes for you. If the true love is not there, you will make things only worse by trying to keep him under control. I think I know what I am talking about because I am old enough and very very happy.

ismet

catalkoykid


Joined: 15/02/2009
Posts: 1190

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 08:49

morning sara

booitsme


Joined: 04/02/2009
Posts: 667

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 08:53

I've got it sussed! Despite having the computer for 9 years now (well variations on the original) and despite it being himself who wanted it, he can still only use it to play patience! I have tried to teach him but he finds it easier if I check out the emails and show him the best of the bunch

kavenkoy


Joined: 10/04/2008
Posts: 1787

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 09:05

we share a computer and its open for anything ,i share mobile phones and they are open to both sides .



if there is trust there is no suspicion ,i have secrets from my other half (these normally revolve around me treating her hols or suprise trip out etc ) .WE have no secrets of any kind



kav

Baspinar Bob


Joined: 15/02/2008
Posts: 618

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 09:55

SaraP



I think you answered your own question in message 1.



Bob.

vincent1


Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 212

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 09:56

If you don't have trust in a relationship it is doomed to fail.

You should share everything and keep no secrets from each other.

Baspinar Bob


Joined: 15/02/2008
Posts: 618

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 10:05

vincent 1.



Looking at you'r member information it sounds like you'r speaking from experience.



Bob.

vincent1


Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 212

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 10:56

Bob.

You are right...we all make mistakes.

You have to learn from them and move on.

elko2



Joined: 24/07/2007
Posts: 4400

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 10:58

You should all take my advice in msg. 9, its working fine.

ismet

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 12:11

I have my pension paid into my account, husband has his pension paid into his account, we then put some of our money into a joint account. I have whats left in mine he has whats left in his, I know what he has he doesn't know what I have because he will not go online to check his or mine but I know his passwords to check his. I manage the joint account he wouldn't know how to pay a bill! We celebrated our golden wedding last Saturday so it must have worked.

mmmmmm



Joined: 19/12/2008
Posts: 8398

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 12:23

My wife can see everything of mine and I can see everything of hers ....

























... if I have the password ;)

vincent1


Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 212

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 12:35

Hi Sara,



You were awake at a very late hour writing this thread.

Have you caught him out?

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 12:37

we don't have secrets , i think thats why we have been together so long.



trust for me is the most important thing.

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 12:51

Well advised to have two separate pass codes especially if a philanderer!



Richard

AndyP



Joined: 18/04/2008
Posts: 517

Message Posted:
05/08/2009 18:06

This thread is now closed. Reason: Not specified.