Swimming pool water stolen

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:34

I jest not. A story that I heard today.

A couple returned home to find that their swimming pool was completely emptied.

The police were called, after initial enquiries, several local tanker drivers were questioned, unfortunately all of them had water-tight alibis.

It's true!

Washerman

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:38

A local ice-cream salesman was found in his van, music playing, covered head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with a 99 flake stuck in each ear......Police reckon he topped himself!

Washerman

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:40

Washerman - God's that's terrible!



I heard that the police are now "looking into it" - the pool, that is!

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:47

At the local Karsiyaka Dog show, villagers tied up their pets in the car park and partied late into the night. They returned to find their dogs missing. Police say they have a number of leads but nothing else!

Washerman

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:51

Washerman - that's even worse than the last one



News just in - all the toilets appear to have been stolen from around Girne harbour. Police say they have nothing to go on.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:52

Last night thieves broke into Kyrenia Police Station and stole all the toilets.



Police say they have nothing to go on.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:53

Hahaha Jeannie......fastest finger first !

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 21:57

Earlier today, there was a three vehicle pile-up on the main Ozankoy to Catalkoy road, a van carrying pitta bread swerved to miss a local man on his push-bike, laiden with tomatoes, and collided with a van delivering hellim cheese. Grilled cheese sandwiches are now available at Ozankoy police station!

Washerman

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:02

Earlier today, a light (two seater) aircraft crashed into a Cemetery in Ireland. Police have recovered 30 bodies so far, but say that the death toll could rise as digging goes on into the night!

Washerman

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:07

All good but that one cracked me up !!



Cooper

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:08

Aerlingus Flight was approaching London Heathrow and was asked by Air Traffic Control for his height and position.Came the reply "I am 5ft 10in and I am sitting in the front"

berkeh2001


Joined: 28/02/2009
Posts: 455

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:14

be careful a lot of thieves about went home and found a tanker outside my house but no driver went to the back of the garden and he was up on the tree my dogs were waiting for him to come down he was shaking like a scared cat

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:18

Mick and Paddy were walking down by the stream and observed a man leaning off the bridge, dangling his hand in the water, wiggling his fingers. Suddenly, the man jerked his arm and out flew a trout on to the bank.

Mick turned to Paddy and said, "Paddy, the next bridge we come to, we will try that" and walked on their way.

They came to the next bridge which was a bit high so, Mick grabbed Paddy's feet and dangled him over the side. "Quick" shouted Paddy, "Why" replied Mick, "have you got one." "No" said Paddy, "there's a train coming!"

Washerman

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:21

Washerman where do you get your material from.Loved them xx

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:30

Two young boys, one drinking battery acid and the other eating fireworks were discovered by Police at a 'local drug-takers haunt.'

They charged one and let the other one off!

Washerman

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:43

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2,

how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another

2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples,

and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good... Now if I gave you 2 rabbits ,

and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven!!!

Teacher: Where the do you get seven from?!?!?



Johnny: Because I've got a effin' rabbit at home!!!

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:45

Did you here the one about the Siamese twins that moved to America so the other one could drive.

Washerman

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:58

Fab jokes, told the first one to hubby before I read the other, thought it was true! lol, whats it like eh, simply great the whole thread, wish I could remember jokes, but only remember some naughty ones and I will get banned if I wrote them on here. lol

Washerman


Joined: 19/09/2008
Posts: 2301

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 22:59

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"

One snowman turns to the other and says, "can you smell carrots?"

Washerman

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
14/08/2009 23:45

Eeer, what?? Im having a blonde moment, dont understand that one :(

eager


Joined: 23/02/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
15/08/2009

Funny as in Clown

Snowman's noses are usually made of carrots

Hippo


Joined: 02/02/2007
Posts: 2070

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 05:41

A tourist entering Australia was asked 'Do you have a criminal record? answer i didn't realise it was still necessary.

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 07:20

dizzycow !!!

Bladerunner


Joined: 10/01/2009
Posts: 204

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 10:20

Thevies in london robbed a carpet warehouse .....They are being hunted for by the yard

erolz


Joined: 17/11/2008
Posts: 3456

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 11:09

Intelligence reports suggested terrorist were planning a campaign of placing bombs in tins of alphabetty spaghetti.



A police spokesman said they feared if one went off it could spell disaster.

spangles


Joined: 22/10/2008
Posts: 411

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 11:33

Erolz - first prize to you for that one!

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 11:40

I give Navek 10/10 for his Joke

Best ever still laughing now

sheila

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 11:42

Yes keithcaley??

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 14:37

'Oi, where are you, Andreas, my son?' GC father bawls.



'I'm in the garage, patera mou (dad).'



What'ya doing in the garage, my son?'



'I'm just giving my sister one, patera mou!'



'That's OK, my son, I thought you were smoking...'

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
15/08/2009 14:41

dizzycows,

That was a comment, not a summons

Keith.

cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
16/08/2009 11:28

er im with dizzy on that one





dont forget if you get swine flu oinkment is available

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
16/08/2009 11:38

After the meteor that fell the other night, leaving a 16 meter crater, police are looking in to it.....