Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2009!

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
18/08/2009 17:51

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!'



That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!



He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'



She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'



'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.



The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'



She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
18/08/2009 17:53

Tootie. ) ) )

phylray



Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
19/08/2009 01:01

Good one. I did laugh as it is so typical!

mrcyprus


Joined: 26/06/2009
Posts: 270

Message Posted:
19/08/2009 04:12

Haha, love that one!

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
19/08/2009 18:30

Paddy is staggering home along the river a fter a good session with his when he spots the local priest dunking people in the river.



"What you doing Father"

"Baptizing these children of god so theycan see Jesus"

"Have you been Baptised Paddy"

"no Father"

"No time like the present for your initiation" and immediately grabs Paddy by the neck and dunks him under the water

" have you see Jesus yet Paddy"

2"minutes under water paddy comes up gasping for breath

"Have you seen Jesus yet Paddy"

After another 2minutes under water hecmes half drowned

"Have you not seen Jesus Yet Paddy"

"No father,but are you sure this is where he fell in"

paddywack


Joined: 04/05/2009
Posts: 959

Message Posted:
20/08/2009 00:22

More racist jokes?

Turtle


Joined: 28/05/2007
Posts: 2669

Message Posted:
20/08/2009 00:37

That should kill then ?

mikelapta



Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 2186

Message Posted:
20/08/2009 16:26

Mick the landlord says to Paddy:"Get home Paddy you've had too much to drink"Paddy falls off the stool,drags himself along the floor,then along the street to his house.Knees and hands bloodied,lifts himself up to open the door,and collapses on the settee.His wife wakes him up in the morning"Jesus,Paddy,you had a skinful last night"."How do you know?"he retorts.

"Mick phoned,says you've left your wheelchair There!!"