Laughing is good for us and creates lateral thinking

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 21:51

April and I were lying in bed the other day. My hands were slowly finding their way across her body.

I whispered, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in the world." She whispered back, "I'll miss you.."

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 21:54

Lol, I bet she did....





Tootie

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 21:59

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 22:00

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same : "You can have mine."

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 22:04

My neighbour had a lottery win and rushed home early from work excited about telling his wife.



man

Jenny I've won the lottery pack you bags.

wife

Oh great were are we going?

man

Whats this we thing? just pack your bags.

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 22:14

Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.



Husband says ' Oh stop crying, you're still my sister'

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 22:17

My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.



She said she wanted to come back as a pig.



I said, 'You're not listening'

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 22:20

"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I

thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."

- Spike Milligan

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
26/08/2009 22:33

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go golfing, so he approached his assistant

"Murphy, I am going golfing tomorrow and I want you to look after the clinic and of all me patients".



"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.



The doctor returns from golfing and and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?"



Well Sir, I took care of three patients. "The first had a headache so he did, I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?"



"The second one had indigestion, I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir"

"Bravo, You're good at this, What about the third?"



"Sir, I was sitting here and the door flies open. A gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, everyting including her panties and lies down on the table and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"



"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" .



"I put drops in her eyes