The dumbest criminal ever?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/10/2009 18:22

Klaus Schmidt, 41, burst into a Berlin bank waved a pistol, and screamed "Hand over the money!"

When staff asked if he wanted a bag, he replied "Damn right it's a real gun!" Guessing Schmidt was deaf, the manager set off the alarm, saying later, "It was ridiculously loud, but he didn't seem to notice."

After five minutes in which Schmidt occasionally shouted "I am a trained killer!" police arrived and arrested him. Schmidt then sued the bank, accusing them of exploiting his disability.

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
21/10/2009 18:46

Not so dumb after all!!

Sued the bank! what ever will they think of next,........

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
21/10/2009 18:56

I wonder if he will get compensation )

zerochlor


Joined: 03/04/2009
Posts: 4024

Message Posted:
21/10/2009 19:43

oh.he must of been a geeeermaaaaan

minertor



Joined: 14/02/2009
Posts: 1238

Message Posted:
21/10/2009 21:21

Seems about as thick as the biker that robbed the bank in America. He couldn't understand how they got onto him so quick. The police pointed to his crash helmet. It had his name emblazoned on the front.



Tony

spondoolics


Joined: 13/06/2009
Posts: 73

Message Posted:
22/10/2009 00:24

Lived in a village on an Island at the equator from 1989 to 97. I had a nice bungalow and was entertaining one of the local ladies when I was aware of someone on the patio perving through the lounge window. Dashed out to see an arse disappearing through the undergrowth like a shot rabbit, far to fast for me, the locals can out run a robbers dog. Lo and behold found a hastily discarded new Adidas shoe. Put an Ad in the local rag "White Adidas shoe found in Village, hardly worn". Guess who turned up at the Police Station to claim it back. He was deported back to a neighbouring Island where had come from seeking employment. When the local bobby asked him if he had lost a shoe, he was standing there with one Adidas on. He said" No sir, I have found one" Can you beat that for reverse intellect.?

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
22/10/2009 00:30

Can you think of a get out for me please BILL. can I take this lot here on xxxxxxxxx Any scheme I can consider

brend


Joined: 20/01/2009
Posts: 149

Message Posted:
22/10/2009 00:40

When we lived in Oldham 3 lads tried to rob the local pub while their driver sat outside waiting. They went in with baseball bats but there where 7 off duty firemen in playing pool who gave chase. the robbers ran to their getaway car which they had stolen but were soon overpowered because they had stolen a 2 door car!!

Brend

hollie


Joined: 15/07/2009
Posts: 149

Message Posted:
22/10/2009 10:57

I remember an article in the local rag back home about a guy in court on charges for stealing a bus, his defence was as follows:



I called me mum and asked how I should get home, she said take a bus....... So i did!



Genius!

Smity



Joined: 14/09/2009
Posts: 826

Message Posted:
22/10/2009 11:48

A man in the states sue a dog owner for getting bit on the buttocks by his beagle, the judge said the $1700 payment to him from the dog owner would have been considerably more if he hadnt been shooting pelets at the dog.



Againg in the states A woman sue a restuarant and recived $5000 for slipping on a wet floor, but she slipped because she poured the drink on her dinner partner and then proceeded to leave.



The best one. a woman bought a Winnibago van and was on the interstate she set the cruise control and whent into the back to make a drink, the van then endewdupside down in a ditch, she sued the company saying the instructions did not state she should remain at the wheel when driving she won got $150000 and a new van. The company has now made3 an amendment to its manual.



This is also true, we have a new bar maid at my local ( in uk) one of our regulars came in and it was mentioned he was late, he replied oh my bloody radiator went on my car. wait for it

Smity



Joined: 14/09/2009
Posts: 826

Message Posted:
22/10/2009 11:50

the bar maid replied 'Oh wow you've got central heating in your car' the people at the bar just fell about laughing. But the really sad thing was, she had no idea what was wrong.