Joke: Royal wedding shoes

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 180

Message Posted:
29/11/2009 21:21

Camilla bought shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter as the day went on.

After the festivities were over, Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling,

ones feet are killing one.' Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour but it would not budge. 'Harder' yelled Camilla. Harder?' 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody tight!'

'Come on give it all you've got ' she cried. Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla

exclaimed 'Oh God, that feels so good.'

In their bedroom next door The Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said See, I told you she would still be a virgin with a face like that!'

Meanwhile back in the other bedroom Charles was attempting to remove

the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh god, darling this ones even tighter'

At which point Prince Phillip turned and said "once navy boy always a navy boy"

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
29/11/2009 21:32

Good one Ivor

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 10:18

How ridiculous it is flying the flag over Buckingham Palace when the Queen is at home?



When it's not flying it's obvious the place is empty and an invitation to burglars.

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 180

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:00

If they go out they usually leave a picture of Camilla over the fireplace visible from the back door to keep the burglers out.

I'll post a joke next time RE Camilla & Charles and a lepricorn. I'm still chuckling about this one as I write.

BillyB


Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 436

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:06

The flag could of been stolen.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:29

Prince Charles was driving around the Windsor Castle estate when he accidentally ran over his mother's favourite corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass, totally distraught. The whole world was against him anyway, and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly, he noticed an old oil lamp half buried in the ground. He dug it up, started cleaning it up, and immediately a genie appeared.



"You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment," said the genie. "As a reward, I shall grant you one wish."

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:30

"Well," said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog." They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the Prince asked.



The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. "This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:30

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana," said Charles, showing the genie the first photo. "But now I love this woman named Camilla," and he showed the second photo to the genie. "You can see that Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?"



The genie studied the two photographs and, after a few minutes, said, "Let's have another look at that dog."

BillyB


Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 436

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:34

Thats funny.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:43

Prince Charles arrives in Iran on an official visit. He asks the president, "Where is the Shah?"

"What do you mean?" says the president. "There is no Shah. We got rid of the Shah years ago."

"In that case," says Charles, "I'll have a bath."   

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:46

Prince Charles makes a royal visit to Los Angeles. The mayor and other bigwigs are at the airport to greet him. The royal jet touches down and Charles gets out wearing the wierdest looking hat they've ever seen - it's made from a dead furry animal, with little legs hanging down at each corner and a tail in the back.



Everyone is too polite to mention the hat, so they welcome him to Los Angeles and give him a tour. That night there's a big reception at the mayor's house. Charlie is still wearing the hat. The wine flows freely, and eventually the mayor plucks up his courage and says: "By the way, your royal majesty, that's a very unusual hat."

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 23:47

Charlie replies: "Yes, it is rather fetching, isn't it. Last night one said to Mama, 'I say, Mummykins, one shall be visiting Los Angeles tomorrow, what should one wear?' She replied: 'Los Angeles? Wear the fox hat.'"