Joke: Woman goes to tattoo parlour and asks...

Mindy



Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210

Message Posted:
29/11/2009 22:41

Woman goes to tattoo parlour and asks for a tattoo of Santa and Merry Xmas on her right thigh,

and a bottle of Champagne with Happy new year on her left thigh.

As she was leaving the tattoo artist asked her why she wanted such unusual tattoos.

She says, 'I am sick of of my husband complaining that there is nothing good to eat between Xmas and New year.

eager


Joined: 23/02/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 00:36

Mindy....you are awful...but i like you !!

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 07:11

Good one Mindy )

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 09:46

good one. now i know what i want for xmas xxx

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 10:09

Money is going to be tight this year, bringing back memories of a Fifties Christmas when I got a box containing two batteries. A sticker on the side stated "Toy Not Included".

flightholiday


Joined: 19/07/2007
Posts: 3217

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 11:48

Bill,



This year you will get the toy!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 11:51

Tom. Fingers crossed )

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 12:43

we were so poor...i once got a cold for my christmas..

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 12:54

we were so poor we couldnt afford socks, so we painted our ankles grey.

flightholiday


Joined: 19/07/2007
Posts: 3217

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 12:57

Bill,



Were they double A or double D?



So we know what size present to buy you?

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 14:28

We were so poor that my mother took a bone out of her corsett to make soup.

We were so poor that we could only buy cheap stuff. When my brother was born he had ' Made in China ' stamped on his head.

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 16:20

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they

decide to go home together where they share a few drinks...and one thing leads to another.

The guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.

The girl has been watching him and says:

"You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says:

"Yes .... How did you figure that out?"

"Easy.." she replies, "you keep washing your hands."

Then they make love.

After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."

The guy, now with an inflated ego, says:

"Sure - I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"

The girl replies: "Didn't feel a thing."

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
30/11/2009 18:46

Met this woman in a bar. She was about 50 and quite attractive and I asked if I could see her home.

On the way home she said I could stay the night which really pleased me. She then said '' Have you ever made love to a mother and daughter together '' I said '' No ''.

She then told me it was my lucky night because tonight I was going to be in bed with a mother and daughter.

When we got to her house she opened the door and shouted '' MUM ''.