How Fights Start ( joke )

stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
10/12/2009 10:14

Saturday

morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my

lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat

up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential

downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the

garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather

would be bad all day.



I went back into the house, quietly

undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's

back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The

weather out there is terrible."



My loving wife of 5 years

replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in

that?"



And that's how the fight

started...







******************************************











I rear-ended a

car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and

slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how

sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just

seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it..

stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
10/12/2009 10:15

He was a

DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and

shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"



So, I looked down at him and

said, "Well, then which one are you?"



And then the fight

started.....

billyboy1


Joined: 01/06/2009
Posts: 590

Message Posted:
10/12/2009 11:20

Thanks Stevie



They made me chuckle

stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
10/12/2009 11:31

My wife and I

were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring

at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a

nearby table.



My wife asked, 'Do you know

her?'



'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I

understand she took to drinking right after we split up those

many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober

since.'



'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person

could go on celebrating that long?'



And then the fight

started...







******************************************











I took my wife

to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order

first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."



He

said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""



Nah, she

can order for herself."



And then the fight

started...

stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
10/12/2009 11:32

A woman was

standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy

with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I

look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

compliment.'



The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn

near perfect.'



And then the fight

started.....

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
10/12/2009 11:39

I could just imagine Chic Murray cracking these jokes in his drawl manner.........