Joke - Royal Jogging

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
15/12/2009 10:17

Prince Charles decided to take up jogging.

Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

'One hundred and fifty pounds!' she'd shout from the curb.

'No! Five pounds!' He would fire back, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.

He'd run by and she'd yell, 'One hundred and Fifty pounds!' He'd yell back, 'Five pounds!'



One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her 'husband' on his jog.

As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner,

Prince Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer

and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.

He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his Wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner,

he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker.

Cont...

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
15/12/2009 10:18

He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jogged past.



Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled:





'See what you get for five pounds,



you tight bast*rd?!'

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
15/12/2009 10:49

Very good Navek )

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/12/2009 12:14

Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mum arrive at the Pearly gates, St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they each have to put forward their case for entry.



Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful music in the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to be"



"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/12/2009 12:14

Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I will completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the cherub to the choirboys. As you well know Pete if you look good you will feel good and that will make heaven a much happier place"

"Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"

The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt and pulls down her knickers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water into her vagina, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over the floor.

"Excellent, you're in" says St Peter

"Hold on a f*cking minute" says Freddie "She didn't even say anything"

"Fred you know the rules," says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a pair of Queens..."

Mindy



Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210

Message Posted:
15/12/2009 13:57

Haha

Navek, that was excellent.......

Enrico


Joined: 07/12/2008
Posts: 209

Message Posted:
15/12/2009 14:11

Jonathon Ross was accused of stealing a kitchen utensil from Tescos.

Ross said it was whisk that he was prepared to take.





Paddy and Mick staggered out of the zoo covered in blood.

Ba..s to that says Paddy.

That the last time I go lion dancing.



32 foreigners were hurt last night when their bed collapsed.

Police have blamed Al Ikea.