Joke: The Funeral Procession

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 180

Message Posted:
20/12/2009 16:11

Leaving a shop with a morning paper I noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about twenty yards behind.



Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a lead. Behind him, a short distance back, were about two hundred men walking in single file.



I couldn't restrain my curiosity & approached the man walking the dog and said, I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?'



My wife's.

Oh I am sorry, What happened to her?

My dog attacked and killed her

I inquired further, But who is in the second hearse?

My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.



A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed.



'Can I borrow the dog?'

The man replied, 'Join the queue.

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
20/12/2009 16:21

loved it what a great joke

harita


Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 1343

Message Posted:
20/12/2009 23:06

A man in the cemetary sobbing bitterly by the side of a grave ..

"Why did you have to die" .. "Why did you have to die" ..

Must have been somebody close to be sobbing like that ..

Was it your wife ..

No came the reply .. It was my wife's first husband ..

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/12/2009 16:36

Very good- both of them

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/12/2009 16:42

Paul McCartney once said that he only writes music about things that are real.



Really Paul? And would you say you do this eight days a week?   

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/12/2009 16:45

My daughter told me she wants a pony for Christmas, so I just went out to get it.



I was sort of hoping for the traditional turkey, but it's nice to try something different.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
21/12/2009 16:48

you loy are mad but i love you for it. very good xxx

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
21/12/2009 19:05

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away.



At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying thecasket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.



They open the casket and find that the woman is actually still alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.



A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"

Secrectcove


Joined: 06/12/2009
Posts: 59

Message Posted:
21/12/2009 19:21

The blessing of the Snow Fairy



http://tinyurl.com/y9cakka

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 180

Message Posted:
22/12/2009 00:43

I was playing golf this morning and a bloke in the middle of a swing, stopped and took off his hat as hurse passed by.



wow, that was very respectful of you I said.



It's the least I couold do was married to her for 40 years