Joke of the day-Tummy Trouble

elko2



Joined: 24/07/2007
Posts: 4400

Message Posted:
05/01/2010 09:04

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The parents stop an his mum quickly dismounts, pulling the covers around her.

"What you and dad doing" the boy asks his mum?

"Well, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it" she explains.

"You are wasting your time" says the boy. "When you go shopping, the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
05/01/2010 09:14

naughty elko but very funny )

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/01/2010 09:17

Good one Ismet....

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/01/2010 10:23

Doctor: I'm sorry, but you're just too ugly for plastic surgery. I suggest wearing a plastic bag over your head.



Patient: Um don't you mean a paper bag...?



Doctor: Maybe I didn't emphasize how ugly you are...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/01/2010 10:27

I just saw Snow White and she called out, "Happy Yew Near!"



"You mean, 'Happy New Year,'" I corrected her.



"No," she said. "I'm looking for my friend, you retard!"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/01/2010 10:29

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home.

As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.

"What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?" asked the police officer.



"I'm on my way to a lecture," answered Daniel.



"And who on Earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?" enquired the constable sarcastically.

"My wife," slurred Daniel grimly.