British woman 'arrested in Dubai after being raped'

TimothyCadman


Joined: 13/12/2007
Posts: 1040

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 02:55

This is what happens when you don't follow a countries rules.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/dubai/6949008/British-woman-arrested-in-Dubai-after-being-raped.html

If people must travel, then learn the rules of that country. Personally I've no sympathy for her or her boyfriend. Lets hope the judge makes an example of her, her boyfriend and the waiter and that, at last, it sends a message to the world, just as the Chinese did last week.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 06:27

That is a tricky one but then is she english or pakistani or muslim or wait a minute, It doesn't matter.



I'll guarantee there is more to this story. I am a very dubious person and I have a feeling that the rape claim is a sympathy call.

It was the same with the british couple, especially the woman who had lived there for 5 years claiming she didn't know you could not have sex in public. They got 3 months suspended and that was only because the press made a mochery of the whole thing.

I have just trawled the UAE papers and found nothing about this.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 07:38

The moral of the story is...'don't go to Dubaii for a naughty weekend...'



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 07:58

But for a man, that is the only reason to go to Dubai.



Women can go shopping.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 08:01

Hmmmm, so you can shop till you drop, but you can't have shag in a public lav....whats the point of going there then? hehehe...





DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 08:26

The fact that this woman was having regular sex with her fiancée should not have even been mentioned, that is her business and hers alone.



Rape should never be taken lightly as for the victim it can be an everlasting nightmare, the perpetrators of this crime should spend a very long time in prison in my opinion.



Chris

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 08:49

Ahh Chris, it isn't often I disagree with you but I'm afraid you are jumping the gun a little here.



Dubai's statutory rules state that it is actually illegal to hold hands with a member of the opposite sex in public regardless of whether you are married or not. I doubt if the police cared about what her and her fiance had done before they got to dubai but whilst in Dubai its a different story. Think about the court case. Defence lawyer would take 3 seconds to throw this one out of court. Muslim, alcohol and possibly in the same hotel room

I've been involved a few times with the police there (not proud of it) and they were always accomodating and explanatory but if you push them too hard they will arrest you for the very reasons they have advised you not to persue a situation.



I agree rape should never be taken lightly however the fact that it is so hard to prove makes a mockery of it.

I believe that if they did think it was rape it would be a different story.

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 09:16

Paul,

Of course you are correct in what you are saying I wasn't thinking about Dubai when I wrote that I tend to think in black & white when it comes to things like rape. Of course if they broke the law of the land they should be punished.

Too early in the morning for me.



Chris

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 09:25

No explanation needed Chris.



The press always tend to try and sensationalise and if they put all the details it would probably not achieve the aim of selling print.



On the subject of rape, I have no way of comprehending the after effects. Even the punishment is not enough for committing the crime. In this day and age I can not understand the need to rape anyone but then that is the problem I suppose. Those that commit rape aren't getting the gratification sexually, it's a mental thing.



Have a good weekend Chris

MsGarnet


Joined: 04/01/2009
Posts: 989

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 11:37

Rape has little to do with sex, but about power, intimidation and control.



There isn't a joke on this planet about rape, that could begin to be funny.

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 16:11

MsGarnet well said, please gentlemen dont make a joke of a womens misfortune such as rape!!!!

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 16:36

So you think it can only happen to women, if you want to be politically correct then start by being correct

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 17:01

proger1 non of us are asking for a squable regarding who is raped, it was a joke put up on here regarding a women being raped , not a boy/man, so please dont ask for an arguement on who is wants to be politically correct!...

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 17:20

I'm not starting an argument about anything dizzy, you said it yourself, it was a joke and when MsGarnet commented I thought it was pedantic but said nothing then when you joined in and called it a womens misfortune i.e. plural of woman I obviously assumed that you meant it was something that only happened to women.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was an honest spelling mistake and not that you are backtracking from a rather broad statement.

The irony is that I seem to remember the joke was put on by a woman but it has been removed so I can't check it.

I don't condone rape and I thought that was fairly obvious in my previous statements nor do I want to get into yet another petty argument but you were the third person to make a similar statement only it read only woman and only joked by men.



Point made, I won't go on

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 17:26

I didnt see the joke refered to on here and commemted on another forum. Rape is no joke. I agree with Prodger it happens to young men as well . my sympathies go out to the young lady x

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 18:01

Hi Lilli, its now been removed, it was up for quite a long time before it was removed.



Proger1, think Iv been on that wine again!!! lol

MsGarnet


Joined: 04/01/2009
Posts: 989

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 18:07

I spoke as a trained Trauma Counsellor specialising in supporting anyone who has been raped, whose children or family members have been murdered or killed in some unspeakable way, or indeed, supporting anyone who had experienced a traumatic loss either of family, friend, or personal dignity - which is why I feel so strongly about these matters. I'm retired - but well recall how men who had been raped in some ways, suffered more (if that is possible) than my female clients - as somehow the men always appeared to feel they had failed as men per se - that they had 'allowed' it to happen to them. This, for homosexual as well as heterosexual men. Their rivers of tears were as distressing to witness, as much as women (that goes for prostitutes, women who were too drunk to resist, women who had had their drinks spiked et cetera). The overwhelming feeling of helplessness, and powerlessness, whilst it can be addressed, is never, ever, forgotten; for some, it contaminates their entire lives.

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 18:42

Rape should never be joked about, it is certainly not a laughing matter, and can affect both sexes.



Whoever it was that joked about it should hang their head in shame.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 18:56

Ladies, I know you will never forgive me for saying this but jokes are a humourous way of looking at some of the horrible things in life.

Your mother, a priest and a hooker, englishmen/scotsman/irishman, my mother in law. All of which should not be spoken about but they are jokes; meant to be humorous for one political reason or another.

I am sure the person that wrote the joke did not intend to offend anyone and the problem now lays in the fact that you are making so much of it that everyone who now reads it thinks it was a disgusting and horrible thing to say.

I doubt if they are hanging their head in shame, they are probably thinking that some people over react to what was meant to lighten the mood.

I tried to point out earlier that having lived in Dubai for a long time I can assure you that there is a great deal more to this story than the UK paper is stating and now it has turned into a feeling offended post

deecyprus4


Joined: 27/07/2008
Posts: 3452

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 19:52

Proger I am sorry but you are wrong, there is no humour in rape, none!

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 20:08

Dee

I hear what you are saying that rape should never be laughed about. I did read the joke not to my taste but other people might laugh as we in life laugh about death, dying and a multitude of other things.



Proger1 Is correct in saying that just sometimes humour is a way of dealing with the horrible things that happen in life and believe me Hands up I have joked my way (as a nurse) through the worst times you can imagine. I am sure if my best friend reads this she will back me up as many times we were hysterical with laughter in the worst situations imaginable but it was our way of coping, and we did, we were a great team and wonderful support for not only the patients but the families as well.



MsGarnet I also have a Diploma in Counselling and in MY opinion and my experiences rape has everything to do with sex!!!

p.s. Not looking for an argument.



Chris

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 20:31

I am sure that the poster didnt really think, the same as a lot of us, its human nature isnt it. Rape be it man or woman (women) is so horrible. Dont think there are any hard feeling towards the poster but the mods should have stepped in quicker, this would have saved any nasty taste to the mouth....

BoTanica


Joined: 22/12/2009
Posts: 714

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 20:37

As a trained post traumatic stress counciler (specialising in post armed robbery trauma in banks) I have to say that proger is one of many people that want to believe that finding humour in adverse situations is a way of dealing with the trauma. One that I think many of us will remember is the girls in the building society held up by a CUCUMBER in a plastic bag! Funny hey? But not quite so funny when you think you are going to die....... I have been (In the bank) subject to two armed robberies, and on the "wrong end" of a sawn off shotgun and a hand gun. I cannot imagine what it is like to be on the "wrong end" of a man. .....

MsGarnet


Joined: 04/01/2009
Posts: 989

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 22:06

Chris - clearly to do with sex in as much as it is the sexual act, but no love or emotional connection or tenderness, rather a degrading violent vicious assault designed to make the victim feel hopeless and helpless..........I should have thought the distinction was obvious, without it having to be explained.....



Many victims having been raped, after all the counselling and therapy in the world, never again enjoy making love - which is deeply sad, as it makes the perpetrator win all over again........



I feel sure the person who posted the joke had no intention of causing offence or distress, and of course black humour is what gets many through, for instance, war situations or dealing with medical horrors - it is only offensive for those who have endured such a trauma or who see the results of those for whom their lives have been torn asunder due to having been a victim.........

BoTanica


Joined: 22/12/2009
Posts: 714

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 22:17

message 24, I agree with everything you have said. No distress was diliberate, I am sure.

phylray



Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 22:32

Having lived and worked in U.A.E. for many years and do recall that Dubai was the most liberal

of all the states and even in Abu Dhabi I have seen Westerners getting away with stuff that surprised

me. But I do know that many Philipinno girls were raped by their employers, and ended up in jail

"for their own protection" A colleague, who was an American missionary, used to visit them.

BoTanica


Joined: 22/12/2009
Posts: 714

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 22:50

Phylray there was a BBC documentary on foreign workers arrested after being beaten and raped. Horrific. I was also shocked to read two years ago that the same thing was happening in South cyprus. girls arrested and up for deportation for "stealing" but they claimed rape and slavery- sad sad world...........

phylray



Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
10/01/2010 19:39

Botanica Not so long ago a young (15) Philipinno girl was sentenced to death for stabbing her

employer to death when he attempted to rape her. The family said he was too old (70) to do

it but she was eventually released after wordwide outcry and "only" got token flogging and

deported, and her poor country had to pay this rich sheikdom a large sum of money.

She was a convert to Islam, and as such had a right to defend her virtue any way she could.

Very surprised at things like than happening in S.Cyprus. Very sick.