Joke: The British Bird Feeder

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 14:44

The Bird Feeder



I bought a bird feeder.. I hung



It on my patio and filled



It lovingly with seed.... It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder.



Within a



Week we had hundreds of birds



Taking advantage of the



Continuous flow of free and



Easily accessible food.





But then the birds started



Building nests in the boards



Of the patio, above the table,



And next to the barbecue..



Then came the bird sh * t. It was



Everywhere; on the patio tiles,



The chairs, the table ..



Everywhere!



Then some of the birds



Turned mean. They would



Dive bomb me and try to



Peck me even though I had



Fed them out of my own



Pocket.





And other birds were



Boisterous and loud. They



Sat on the feeder and



Squawked and screamed at



All hours of the day and night



And demanded that I fill it



When it got low on food.





After a while, I couldn't even



Sit on my own back porch



Anymore. So

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 14:45

Bird feeder and in three days



The birds were gone. I cleaned



Up their mess and took down



The many nests they had built



All over the patio.





Soon, the back yard was like



It used to be ... Quiet, serene



And no one demanding their



Rights to a free meal....



Now let's see .....



Brown & our government give out



Free food, subsidised housing,



Free medical care, and free



Education and allows anyone



Born here to be an automatic



Citizen.





Then the illegals came by



The millions. Suddenly



Our taxes went up to pay for the



Free services; small flats



Are housing 5 or more families; you



Have to wait 6 hours to be seen



By a doctor in an emergency surgery



Because it is filled with illegal non tax payers;



Your child's year 12 class is



Behind other schools because



Over half the class doesn't speak



English.





Corn Flakes now come in a



Bilingual box; I have to



'press one' to hear my ba

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 14:47

Corn Flakes now come in a



Bilingual box; I have to



'press one' to hear my bank



Talk to me in English, and



People waving flags other



Than 'The Union Jack' are



Squawking and screaming



In the streets, demanding



More rights and free liberties.





Its just my opinion but:



Maybe, just maybe,



it's time for the government



To take down the damn bird feeder.



If you agree, pass it on; if not,



Continue cleaning up the sh*t!

exnavalperson


Joined: 22/07/2009
Posts: 224

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 17:25

TopTen







I like that very much.



Do not lose heart. When I am dictator of Britain I shall put the GREAT back into it and once more make it a place where we heroes can live in undisturbed peace and happiness.

the butler


Joined: 22/06/2007
Posts: 1958

Message Posted:
09/01/2010 23:06

Top Ten,



My sentiments exactly, if all these immigrants had to pay for their doctors time and they had to pay for housing and there were no free handouts. I wonder how many of them would come, very few methinks?





The butlers wife

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
10/01/2010 06:33

Top Ten,

The problem as I see it is the bird feeders have been up there so long now its in the birds genetic makeup to just head for the place where it used to be after its been removed, besides they know that the government will give them whatever they need so they look good in the eyes of the rest of the world.

Ironically, most of the countries that the UK wants to look good too are the same countries that refuse to put up the bird feeder for foreigners.



Paul

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
10/01/2010 12:15

I would just like to say I did,nt prefix this with " Joke ", because I don,t believe it to be a joke.

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
11/01/2010 06:30

Agree 100% top ten