Asylum seekers wanted

loulouis


Joined: 13/12/2009
Posts: 234

Message Posted:
17/01/2010 23:04

Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of

'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:

HIJACK AN AIRLINER

and win

A COUNCIL HOUSE !

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,

The British Taxpayer.

And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:

'ASYLUM'

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more by begging, mugging, burgling and

accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone

buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:

Asylum

paddywack


Joined: 04/05/2009
Posts: 959

Message Posted:
17/01/2010 23:13

Sad but true.

mark64uk


Joined: 03/12/2008
Posts: 67

Message Posted:
17/01/2010 23:22

true and getting worse

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
17/01/2010 23:29

Message 1 - LL - haven't you posted this on here before? Must admit, I would find it very amusing, if it wasn't true! To tell the truth - I laughed out loud, although probably from hysteria



Does anyone on here (probably mostly UK viewers) watch the programme "Border Control"? What a bloody eye-opener that is.



Well, I'm off to weep into my vodka and tonic (have to get up early to get down to the benefits office). NOT.No, I have to go to work in a very lowly paid job, for my sins.



J

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
17/01/2010 23:39

Sorry louislouis, I probably missed your point - you were looking for asylum seekers. Now, is there a 'points' system?

Here's me:

Left school at almost 17.

Worked all my life with the exception of having 9 months off after the birth of my son

Paid for nursery care when he was 3 years old - 3 afternoons a week

Struggled with a mortgage with never one payment missed

Never claimed anything from the Government by way of unemployment benefit, etc. etc.

Never claimed any sick pay

In fact, never claimed bugger aall

White woman, aged 59, lives in own house, married (husband pays a fortune in income tax, due to private pension into which he paid around 13% of salary)

So, how do I stand?

Jean



I'm really looking forward to getting the answer! I can see a Caribbean cruise on the horizon, what with back 'pay', etc.

J

YeniTom


Joined: 29/12/2009
Posts: 198

Message Posted:
17/01/2010 23:51

Msg 5



Hi Jean

Thanks for filling in our questionnaire.

We can now able to say that your details fit our criteria we we would like to welcome you to the Government Assitance Proramme.



We thankyou for donating all your tax payments, national insurance payments and speed camera fines to our programme for the support of immigrants, asylem seekers and parasites in general.



We also thankyou for paying your own mortgage for which you have never received benefit support which has allowed us to give a council house to a totally undeserving person.



We would like to wish you a long and healthy working life in order that our funds may be replenished.



Thankyou for your efforts.



Gordon Brown

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 00:14

Dear Gordon Brown

I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to receive your very prompt repy. I was so pleased to know that you definitely have your 'finger on the pulse' of us taxpayers! It is comforting to know where my hard earned tax payments have gone over the years - you have certainly put my mind to rest. Phew!

I can now (hopefully) rest assured that my home will be sold (if needs be) to ensure my miserable existence in a care home and that my son will receive nothing of what I have worked for all my life.

I will go to my grave, knowing that I have helped others - if not my own - and I shall sleep easily in my next life.



Many thanks for your good wishes - they are very much appreciated.



PS I should like to say that, bearing in mind your very kind e-mail, I will do my utmost to work above and beyond my retirement (which you have, incidentally, extended) to put more in the coffers.



J

YeniTom


Joined: 29/12/2009
Posts: 198

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 00:35

Dear Ms Jeannie

It is heartening for us to know that you have read our campaign material and from other things you have said you must have also read the information contained in our handouts at air, rail and seaports along with some we distribute at motorway lorry parks.



I have been asked to convey our deepest thanks for you continued support. With that you can be assured that your money is going to be well spent here and in countries like Africa where the Bank accounts of Despots have been suffering from starvation.



Gordon Brown

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 00:43

ps

I do hope you will support our endeavours to have welcome notices posted at all entrances to the UK i.e. WELCOME TO TREASURE ISLAND.

YeniTom


Joined: 29/12/2009
Posts: 198

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 00:51

Dear Woodspeckie



Ref your endeavours for signs.



This Government applauds local enterprise and welcomes respoinsible start up businesses. We are thrilled to learn of your endeavours to place signs at all ports informing new immigrants and parasites of this Governments programme. We operate a truly workable Equal rights system and are determined to bring these people to the same standards that you have worked for, so these signs can only accelerate that process.



Just one small point. We are concerned that if the sign Says 'Treasure Island' these people may think they have arrived in the wrong country and leave. This Government cannot allow that. If the wordage is changed we see no problems..



Regards



Gordon Brown.

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 02:23

Dear Mr YeniTom and Mr Woodspecikie

I sincerely applaud your efforts -well done.



I am off to bed now, but, please rest assured that I shall sleep on this. In particular, the 'Treasure Island''

reference - I feel this needs some work.



Good night and God bless - 'till tomorrow.



j

X

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 08:25

Jeannie I watch border patrol, what a farce when they catch them they let them go telling them to report back next week, like hell they come back, it opens your eyes and makes you sick at what they get away with

message 1 it is so true what a Country to let it go on like this

cyprusishome


Joined: 31/03/2007
Posts: 2381

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 08:47

Left wing economists proably describe what is happening a natural redistribution of population which over the centuries has always happened.



The Romans invaded England and the English fled to Wales. The Hugenoets fled from France and Holland to England, the Pilgrim Fathers went to America, the Irish went to America and the English went to Northern Ireland etc.



Now all the Third world is moving to England and we all p*** off to anywhere we can.



OOPPPSSSS, we are so politically incorrect the thought police will be around shortly to send us all to jail.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 09:57

Jean, message 5. You are like a lot of people in the UK. Because you've always looked after your selves you'll get nothing from the state.

Dixie Normus


Joined: 22/02/2008
Posts: 820

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 10:56

Shame on you people, these unfortunate types should be looked after by a nation that probably once looted and raped their countrys of everything they had during the days of the empire, as Mr Choudry said recently this money does not belong to the British Tax payer it belongs to Allah and he will give it to those he see's fit. If the system is not doing what the majority in a democratic society want, you have a vote, vote somone in who will sort the problem, but dont moan when the kebab and pizza shops start closing and there's no one to pick the vegtables for the supermarkets. Or there is always the last choice,get out while you can, then one day only the asylum seekers, illegals and the scrougers will be left and the EU will have to look after them.



BNP Britains only Chance



D.N

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 11:24

"Or there is always the last choice,get out while you can, then one day only the asylum seekers, illegals and the scrougers will be left and the EU will have to look after them...."



I'm sure this is the long term view of the EU. As we are an Island we are the 'dumping ground' for the EU. I always thought that the Island of Ireland would eventually become a penal colony for the 'dregs' of Europe.

Blackpoolfan


Joined: 03/12/2008
Posts: 1568

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 12:15

Message 15

I think we should put Choudry on a boat send him back to the stone that he crawled out from under, he can then be free to spout his filth and give his own countries money away and not mine. Oh he can take his side kick Allah with him as well..........

jimmyG


Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 900

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 15:50

Blackpoolfan - whilst I agree with your sentiments he is in fact born in Welling in England so that is his country.

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 16:10

Jimmy G..Do what the footballers do and say my great,great ,great grandmother was bornin.......so they can play for that countries national mside.Feel sure some of his relatives are of asian origin....

Blackpoolfan


Joined: 03/12/2008
Posts: 1568

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 23:30

Jimmy G

Point taken, but kick his arse out anyway...........

Oleander


Joined: 03/05/2009
Posts: 302

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 23:32

Just as well the TRNC doesn't have the same feelings about anyone not born and bred there living there eh?

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 23:36

bill why ireland please . Do they not have enough scrogners there xxxxxxx

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
18/01/2010 23:47

Liz. Someone once told me that in years to come an 'Alcatraz' type prison would be built in Ireland and used for housing all the worst criminals in Europe. There was an agenda to rid mainland Europe of it's worst criminals and dump them on an Island.



Hearsay I know, but you never know!.

minertor



Joined: 14/02/2009
Posts: 1238

Message Posted:
19/01/2010 08:56

msg 17: blackpoolfan, obviously you haven't listened to Choudry spouting his filth. The scary thing about the guy is that he is quite articulate and an accomplished orator. He was born in UK of Pakistani parents who came to UK in the 50's. He is a disbarred solicitor. He is respected by his followers. Unfortunately the only party likely to do anything about him and his ilk are the unelectable BNP. As things are with the Human Rights Act, which only the UK seems to adhere rigidly to, things will never get better.



Tony

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
19/01/2010 10:39

I cross ocean, poor and broke.

Take bus, see employment folk.



Nice man treat me good in there.

Say I need to see welfare.



Welfare say, 'You come no more, we send cash right to your door.'



Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy!



By and by, I get plenty money.

Thanks to you, you British dummy!



Write to friends in motherland.

Tell them 'come fast as you can.'

They come in turbans and Ford trucks,

And buy big house with welfare bucks!



They come here, we live together.

More welfare cheques, it gets better!



Fourteen families, they moving in,

but neighbour's patience wearing thin.

Finally, British guy moves away.

Now I buy his house, then I say,

'Find more immigrants for house to rent.'

And in the yard I put a tent.



Everything is very good,

and soon we own the neighbourhood.



We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist? Wives need pills? We get f

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
19/01/2010 10:46

Cont'd:



We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist? Wives need pills? We get free! We got no bills!

British crazy! They work all year, to keep the welfare running here.

We think UK darn good place.

Too darn good for British race!

If they no like us, they can scram. Got lots of room in Afghanistan !



PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAXPAYER YOU KNOW