Joke: Getting Married......

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 10:38

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively. 'I would like it infrequently.' she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, 'Is that one word or two?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 10:40

Getting Married

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon, are all excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds "

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 10:40

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely.."

Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "Adult incontinance pants?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."

Baspinar Bob


Joined: 15/02/2008
Posts: 618

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 10:57

No1Doyen



Rule 9 tut tut lol.



Bob.

swannee7


Joined: 21/08/2009
Posts: 394

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 16:45

No. 1 Doyen - first joke velly clever/amusing! Still on the subject of those well past 70.....



There was an old couple celebrating their Diamond wedding anniversary who decided to go on a 2nd honeymoon to mark the occasion. They booked the same hotel, even the same room AND the same bed. Later that night, with her arms lovingly wrapped round her hubby, the wife said: "darling, do you remember how romantic you were with me 60 years ago? Like - how you tenderly bit me on the neck, then bit me on my ear lobe, on my shoulder, and you bit.......Hey! Where you going?" Halfway across the room came his mumbled reply, "to the bathroom - to get my teeth!"

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 17:07

very funny loved the first one xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 18:14

Guy goes to his doctor in a very anxious state, The doctor says whats wrong, the guy replies its my wife doc, she is out every night at larry's bar, in fact she sleeps with everyone at larry's bar, The doctor say's just relax and take a big deep breath, now tell me where is larry's bar !!!

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 18:25

good one Bill

Jock loved it

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
05/02/2010 18:27

Jock. Filth! )