Joke: nuses aren't what they used to be

IvorBankloan



Joined: 14/08/2009
Posts: 180

Message Posted:
09/02/2010 13:45

A male patient lying in bed in hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult surgical procedure

A young nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the nurse replies 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black? Concerned, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them.

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,

'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very carfully " Are-My-Test-Results-Back"

dav88



Joined: 01/08/2008
Posts: 605

Message Posted:
09/02/2010 14:20

haha!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
09/02/2010 17:39

The School Nurse



A little 8 year old boy wanted to be circumcised when he realized he looked different than dad and his friends. The day after the proceedure he returned to school. During class, he became uncomfortable and asked for permission to go to the nurse.

When he arrived at her office, he hesitated and finally just asked if he could call his mother. Sensing this was personal, the nurse stepped into the hall and closed the door to allow him privacy. Several minutes later the little boy came out of her office and the nurse noticed his penis was sticking out of his pants.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Back to class," said the boy.

"But you can't go back like that!" explained the nurse.

"I have to," stressed the boy. "My mother said that if I could just stick it out until lunchtime, she would come and pick me up."