Joke...................... sort of

donga


Joined: 01/04/2009
Posts: 272

Message Posted:
11/02/2010 17:53

Mr Cadbury met Ms Rowntree on a Double Decker, it was just



After Eight. They got off at Quality Street, in front of the

Fisherman's Friend pub. He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the

One with the hole" she said in a quiet Wispa. "I'm Marathon,



The one with the nuts" he said! Then he touched her Creme

Eggs. They checked into a hotel, he slipped his hand into

Her Snickers and felt her Milky Way. He fondled her Flap

Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tacs. It was a Fab moment as

She let out a scream of sheer Turkish Delight! Sadly 3 days

Later his Sherbert Fountain started to drip. It turns out Ms

Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts!

BillBarnacle


Joined: 20/04/2009
Posts: 167

Message Posted:
11/02/2010 17:55

Made me laugh

oddjob


Joined: 16/09/2008
Posts: 62

Message Posted:
11/02/2010 18:00

I heard Wayne Bridges had a replica made of his willy out of milk chocolate, and sent it to his ex-missus vanessa, to let her know what she was missing.



By all accounts she sent it back, saying she preferred 'Terry's'.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
11/02/2010 18:14

very good both xx

oddjob


Joined: 16/09/2008
Posts: 62

Message Posted:
11/02/2010 18:26

A big fat woman walks into a bar and shouts out, 'if anybody can guess my weight, they can shag me'. A bloke at the back shouts back, '95 stone, you fat ugly bitch'. The woman replies, 'thats close enough, yoooou lucky bastard'.







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Teacher in primary school says to her class, 'i want you to give me a sentence with the word definately....... in the sentence'. Little Tommy puts up his hand and says, 'my daddy said he is Definately going to play football with me tonight'. 'Very good Tommy' the teacher says.







Next, little julie put her hand up and said, 'when i get home tonight, mummy is Definately going to take me to macdonalds'. 'Excellent Julie' the teacher replies.







Then little Johnny puts his hand up and says, 'Miss, does a fart have lumps in it'. 'No' the teacher replies angrily. 'Well then Miss, i have Definately Shit myself'.

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
22/03/2010 07:30

Teacher in primary school says to her class, 'I want you to give me a sentence with the word marvellous....... in the sentence'. Little Lucy the teacher's pet puts up her hand and says, 'my sister has a marvellous dress'. 'Very good Lucy' the teacher says.



Then the teacher says, 'i want you to give me a sentence with the word marvellous twice'.



Little Lucy is stumped and the whole class is scratching their heads except for little Tommy the class terror.



Tommy puts up his hand and waves it furiously... 'Ooh! Please miss, please miss', but the teacher ignores him and pleads with the rest of the class to try harder... Tommy continues .. 'please miss please miss, I've got one',



In the end the Teacher relents and says 'OK Tommy, let's have it'



Tommy says, 'Please miss, my sister came home late last night and told my dad she was pregnant, My dad said "Marvellous! f*cking Marvellous!".....'