Terrorists STRIKE again..joke

Mr Vince


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 696

Message Posted:
12/02/2010 17:33

Crisis Looms As Emergency Talks at Al Qaeda HQ Break Down

> >

> > British suicide bombers are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in

> > a dispute over the amount of virgins

> > they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda

> > management have so far failed to produce

> > an agreement.

> >

> > The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of

> > virgins a suicide bomber would receive

> > after his death will be cut by 16.7 % next January from 72 to only 60.

> > The rationale for the cut was the

> > increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a

> > subsequent shortage of virgins in the

> > afterlife.

> >

> > The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational

> > Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a

> > statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately

> > balloted for strike action. General

> > secretary Abdullah Amir told the press,

> >

> > "Our mem

Mr Vince


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 696

Message Posted:
12/02/2010 17:35

"Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of

> > Jihad. We don't ask for much in return

> > but to be treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth."

> >

> > Mr Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that

> > the cutbacks were expected to be

> > borne entirely by the workforce and not by management. "Last Christmas

> > Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual

> > bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll

> > all be pretty ones too. How can Al

> > Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people

> > who do the real work?"

> >

> > Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands where he currently resides,

> > Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin

> > Laden explained,

> >

> > "We sympathise with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a

> > position to meet their demands. They

> > are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a

Mr Vince


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 696

Message Posted:
12/02/2010 17:38

They

> > are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a

> > competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western

> > depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

> > It's a straight choice between reducing

> > expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd

> > hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff

> > that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

> >

> > He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to

> > attract good fanatical clerics. "How am I

> > supposed to attract the best people if I can't compete with the private

> > sector?" asked Mr. Bin-Laden.

> >

> > Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a

> > virgin-sharing scheme was rejected

> > outright after a failure to agree on orifice allocation quotas. One

> > virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted

> > as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to anything like that - it's

> > just too m

Mr Vince


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 696

Message Posted:
12/02/2010 17:39

I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to anything like that - it's

> > just too much to swallow".

> >

> > Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide

> > bombers will down explosives at midday on

> > Monday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London

> > branch, which has a different union, is

> > likely to continue working. However, some members of that branch will

> > only be using waist-down explosives in

> > order to express solidarity with their striking brethren.

swannee7


Joined: 21/08/2009
Posts: 394

Message Posted:
12/02/2010 20:00

A bit longish but very witty ! good one.