Joke: What's brown and sticky

newby07


Joined: 04/05/2008
Posts: 37

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 13:09

A STICK! .......................................

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 13:16

What's brown and comes out of Cowes backwards?

The Isle of Wight ferry.

Aga Buyers A G


Joined: 04/10/2007
Posts: 488

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 13:53

A Scotsman walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."



The wife, lying on the bed reading a book, looks up and says, “If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."



The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."





:0)

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 14:25

Paddy met Mick in the street and Mick said:



'Paddy will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in the future?'



'Why?' Paddy asked.



'Because,' said Mick 'all the street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday'



Paddy replied 'Silly buggers! - the laugh's on them.









I wasn't home yesterday!!' :-0

kibrissibel


Joined: 18/02/2008
Posts: 562

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 14:53

What's pink and hard?





























A pig with a flick knife!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 14:58

"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist.

"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals.

As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are very attached to."

"But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel, ummm... *physically* attracted to my horse."

"Hmmm," the doctor asked, "Is it male or female?"

"Female, of course!" the man replied. "What do you think I am...GAY???"

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 15:33

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.

Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears

and I tink both his legs are broken.'

Operator: 'What is your location sir?'

Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street.'

Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'





Silence and after a minute.





Operator: 'Are you there sir?'

Silence and a minute later.





Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'

This goes on for another few minutes until ....





Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'

Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat. I just dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street.

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 16:21

Google 'joke' and you'll find a million+ of 'em including all jokes ever copy/pasted on this board. So - why do it again..?!

johnerebus



Joined: 15/05/2009
Posts: 72

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 16:43

Cause dey made me laff an I don't like jokes about Googles

jimmy


Joined: 15/09/2008
Posts: 251

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 17:32

A British couple

decided to go to Spain to thaw

out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at

the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20

years earlier.



Because of

hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their

travel schedules. So, the husband left

Glasgow and flew to

Barcelona on Thursday,

with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked

into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided

to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out

one letter in her email address, and without realizing his

error, sent the email.



Meanwhile, somewhere in

Blackpool , a widow had just

returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who

died following a heart attack.



The widow decided to

check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends..

After reading the first message, she screamed and

fainted.



The widow's son rushed into the room,

found his

jimmy


Joined: 15/09/2008
Posts: 251

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 17:35

mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which

read:



To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've

Arrived

Date: October 16, 2008



I know

you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now

and you are allowed to send emails to your loved

ones.



I've just arrived and have been checked in. I

see that everything has been prepared for your arrival

tomorrow.



Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope

your journey is as uneventful as mine was.



P.S.

F***ing hot down here!

Aga Buyers A G


Joined: 04/10/2007
Posts: 488

Message Posted:
16/02/2010 17:41

"Hi Mom, How are you?"



"Hi son, where are you? I thought you were with your father at Home Depot."



"Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make one phone call"



"What happened?"



"Oh, I punched this African-American woman ."



"What on earth ~ why did you do that - we have always taught you well to treat others as you would expect to be treated ?????"



"It was Dad's fault, He told me to find a Black & Decker."