Never mind the Scots where would you be without the Irish!

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 19:21

Whiskey - exported to Scotland when the Irish civilised the heathen Picts.

Chemistry - Robert Boyle - Boyle's Law

The Kilt

The Pipes - Uileann Pipes badly copied by another lot.

The Beaufort Scale - Sir Francis Beaufort

Induction Coil - Nicholas Callan

Quaternion (maths) - Sir William Rowan Hamilton

Hollow Syringe Needle - Francis Rynd

Seismology - Robert Mallet

Binaural Stethoscope - Arthur Leared

The Electron - George J Stoney

The Submarine - John P. Holland

Portable defibrilator - Frank Pantridge

Pulsars - Jocelyn Bell Turner

Antarctic Exploration - Ernest Shackleton and Tom Crean



Anything Missing? Many would think Guinness Stout but this is an English beer popular among dock workers and the porters of Covent Garden - hence the name porter for the beer.



The pneumatic tyre while invented by a Scot was actually invented while he lived in Downpatrick, Co. Down and the first manufacturing plant was in Dublin.



God you are so lucky to have us!!!



DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 19:25

Any country other than Ireland.





Chris xxx

andrew4232



Joined: 04/07/2009
Posts: 1543

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 19:26

no mention of powers, paddy or cork dry gin !

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 20:45

Hi Andrew,



Paddy and Powers are what are technically termed "muck".



They are the type of whiskey drunk by your Grandad usually accompanied by a pint of plain. Their only proper use is in Irish (or Gaelic) Coffee because they are so rough, the flavour comes through the coffee, cream, and sugar.



By the way... Irish Coffee isn't! It was first invented in the San Fansisco Hilton in 1949. It quickly became popular at the flying boat base at Foynes in Co. Limerick so people travelling the Atlantic associated it with Ireland.



Cork Dry Gin? Give me a break.



DD

baldy


Joined: 18/11/2008
Posts: 70

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 20:51

And can we not forget a glass of the Black Bush whiskey? Or a glass of Shirley Bassey as they'd say in Nenagh, Co Tipperary. Up Tipp!!

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 20:57

Only whisky I like is in an Irish coffee and its got to be Blackbush wins every time over that horrible Jamiesons stuff!!

Mmmm



Chris

rigsby


Joined: 21/09/2007
Posts: 912

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 21:00

The scots invented tarmac and the irish know how to lay it !

natalie


Joined: 03/05/2009
Posts: 323

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 21:23

They beat the Welsh today at Rugby!!!!

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 22:02

Nurseawful,



Where did you learn how to spell???



WhiskEy always has an E in it!! At least real stuff does.



DD

johndp


Joined: 08/09/2009
Posts: 497

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 22:10

Bliddie oirish oi just knew it YOU LOT responsible for all the junkies injecting theresels

charlie15


Joined: 23/04/2008
Posts: 131

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 22:17

dublinderm



Sláinte.



Have a great Paddy's day on Wednesday.

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 22:21

Message 9



In gods own country of course Scotland,



The real stuff is spelt without an e I am led to believe!!!!!



Chris



Yes and have a great Paddys day as message 11 says.

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
13/03/2010 22:36

Speakin' of Whiskey,



Only in Ireland would you have one called ' Feckin Irish Whiskey '

Agnes


Joined: 11/04/2009
Posts: 81

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 10:22

FECKIN !!!

How I love that word !!!!

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 10:26

and what about the potato, agnes i also love that word, says it all really.

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 10:38

Tullamore Dew pure nectar



Its a good job we E nglish took you out of the bogs ( Irish) and heather (Scots ) put you in trousers instead of skirts, and put shoes on your feet to civilize you and stop all the in breeding.

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 11:16

Ho Ho TopTen,



You are a very brave (or foolish ) man to make a comment like that just before St. Patrick's Day !



And you forgot to mention the Welsh, after all you English taught them to speak the Queen's language, didn't you ?

Ailletoo


Joined: 24/01/2009
Posts: 1003

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 15:31

No Ballyboffin, not brave or foolish, Just ignorant!

ang1706


Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 570

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 16:09

Me personally, where would I be without the Irish....................



They cost me a marraige as being in forces we were always over there in the 70-90s

Walking the streets and then spending hours scrubbing your flak jackets as people spat at you- always from behind!

So theres an answer you were not expecting!!!

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 16:59

Re MSG 19



Was there conscription in Britain during the 70s & 90s?



You volunteered - get over it!!!



DD

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
14/03/2010 17:28

ang1706,



You can't blame the Irish for the loss of your marriage and you can't accuse us all of spitting at soldiers.

ang1706


Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 570

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 08:11

Love the comments,



Everyone is entitled to an opinion and message 21 you are correct not everyone is painted with the same brush.

Message 20 what type of a reply was that- Get over it!!



I was only expressing my view as asked in the top of the thread!!

mamachina


Joined: 22/11/2008
Posts: 730

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 09:20

If no Irish who the hell would we make jokes about?

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 09:34

There are only two types of people in the world......



The IRISH and all the rest who want to be IRISH

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 12:28

Carndi,



You speak the truth. Wait until you see the shennanigans all over the world on Wednesday, it's the only Saint's Day that everyone celebrates and there is no religious divide.



Happy Paddy's Day !

everon


Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 956

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 12:37

where would we be without the Irish....................



well we wouldn't have our dear friend Bob (Carndi) for a start!!!!! x

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 14:16

Re Msg 22.



Does the ang stand for 'angry' or 'angst'?



You chose a military career, you put on the uniform, you took up arms. Then you found that not everyone loved you for it?



I followed a military career also. I was shot at, shelled, strafed, and subjected to roadside IEDs. All by people who did not like the uniform I wore.



Did no one ever say to you... 'If you can't take a joke, you should not have joined up'?



That was in the past and that is where it will firmly stay!



I got over it... maybe you should try too.



DD



PS You have my respect for your service to your country and for going into harms way where many others refuse to go.

Ailletoo


Joined: 24/01/2009
Posts: 1003

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 17:54

Vincent Barry (1908-1975), led a team that discovered a treatment for leprosy



Francis Beaufort (1774-1857), hydrographer, developed a scale for classifying wind strength



John Stewart Bell (1928-1990), atomic physicist, 'Bell's Inequalities'



John Desmond Bernal (1901-1971), X-ray crystallography



George Boole (1815-1864), inventor of Boolean algebra



Robert Boyle (1627-1691), pioneer scientist, 'Boyle's Law'



Louis Brennan (1852-1932), principle of a guided missile, wire-guided torpedo



Pádraig de Brún (1889-1960), scholar and mathematician



Lucien Bull (1876-1972), high speed photography, modern electrocardiogram (ECG)



Jocelyn Bell Burnell (1943- ), discovered pulsars



Nicholas Callan (1799-1864), inventor of the induction coil and discoverer the principle of the dynamo.



Aeneas Coffey (1780-1852), heat exchanger, inventor of the Coffey still



Nicholas Comins, binaural stethoscope



William Monad Crawford, entomologist



William Dargan, railway

JKSLapta


Joined: 08/06/2009
Posts: 547

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 18:34

For all you jolly Irish (Brits, Scots & Welsh as well!), JK's Bar in Lapta are having a St Patricks day party on Weds 17th starting at 3pm, with music from Kelvin, food (yep, the Irish Stew will be bubbling away), dancing, special promotions and give-aways! All welcome and free entry as usual. We hope to see you there!

Ailletoo


Joined: 24/01/2009
Posts: 1003

Message Posted:
15/03/2010 20:45

The Irish don't know what they want but however, they are prepared to fight to the death to get it

CyprusChill


Joined: 08/05/2009
Posts: 666

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 05:08

THE LAMENTATION OF THE OLD PENSIONER



by: William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)



LTHOUGH I shelter from the rain

Under a broken tree

My chair was nearest to the fire

In every company

That talked of love or politics,

Ere Time transfigured me.



Though lads are making pikes again

For some conspiracy,

And crazy rascals rage their fill

At human tyranny,

My contemplations are of Time

That has transfigured me.



There's not a woman turns her face

Upon a broken tree,

And yet the beauties that I loved

Are in my memory;

I spit into the face of Time

That has transfigured me.

CyprusChill


Joined: 08/05/2009
Posts: 666

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 05:31

I shed a remorseful tear that my father passed through a London of the 1950's.

Where Irish / Negro or Black were Not welcome.



And now an Irish parade on Mothers day in London an Irish parade.

Irish Mums do not appreciate there fellas rollin in pist for a good meal.

Irish fellas have to toe the line and endure a lifetime of gorgeous meals and love.

Beaming kids and without pressure an undersanding for the graft, physical or interlectuaral.



As St Patricks, Paddies day approaches.

The Mountains stand firm and strong ( Sligo, Sligeach ) Benbulben,Knocknarae, the sea rivers loughs and streams.

The moody flamboyant skies the life that remains.

Our families buried in the Cemetry.

We see you once in a while, shed a tear and miss you as you us.



17th March Paddies Day. xxxxx

CyprusChill


Joined: 08/05/2009
Posts: 666

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 05:54

Apart from the Gorgious WB YEATS.



Another Irish fella ( albeit a protestant of the time ) and some one i relate to.



George Stokes. from Skreen.

My dad's playground from school and tech sligo. If you know my dad, an engineer and before he passes away an irish fella who kept the royals safe in the sky ( he does not harp on, it was a job ) when Lord Mountbaton died. Dad having fished and talked with him as a boy. Sad times i remember.

I also know the day it happened. We were at Ross on Wye, Wales. It is the Only time i have seen my father break down and cry, why ?



Instrumentation, Oil and Gas, Orifice Plates, Measurement through a pipe.

CyprusChill


Joined: 08/05/2009
Posts: 666

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 06:08

WB YEATS Spoke with a very old man called Paddy Flynn.



ON BEING ASKED FOR A WAR POEM



by: W. B. Yeats (1865-1939)



THINK it better that in times like these

A poet's mouth be silent, for in truth

We have no gift to set a statesman right;

He has had enough of meddling who can please

A young girl in the indolence of her youth,

Or an old man upon a winter's night.

CyprusChill


Joined: 08/05/2009
Posts: 666

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 06:42

Fortunate enough ive never had to face an armoured car, tank or gun. Although once at a Lincoln Show my father questioned a predominant Mr Paisley ' what are you doing here ? and gave him a blooded nose in defence. I gave his son one also.

Feck the gobshites.

Happy Hussar


Joined: 01/10/2008
Posts: 318

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 08:31

CyprusChill

A bit 'deep' for me old son! but I do agree about the 'fecking Paisleys'

Tony

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 11:59

Something the Irish or British Irish have learned of late is not to talk politics or religion in order to keep the 'Peace'



CyprusChill,



You are extremely fortunate never to have had to face ' an armoured car, tank or gun ' ALL of us in Northern Ireland had no choice but to live with them daily in the Old Days, not to mention the odd bomb and riot.



Most of us here have lost family or friends in the so called 'Troubles' and certainly do not want to go back to that, whatever the cost to our pride or beliefs.







It seems to me that though the Irish ( or most of them ) have tried to leave it all behind them, everytime the Irish are mentioned there are those on here who like to post vitriolic comments.



I'd like to say Happy St. Patrick's day to all and on the eve of the day , let's in the spirit of the Saint.



GIVE IT OVER.

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 12:30

Well said Ballyboffin we can all piss take but lets not get too serious,

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 12:41

Thank you Ballyboffin. This thread started in a light hearted manner so lets keep it that way.



HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY TO ALL

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 12:42

Hello again,



I would like to echo the sentiments expressed by Ballyboffin above.



As a young Naval Rating I had the sad (but somehow proud) duty of bearing the coffin of Lord Mountbatten in Finner Camp Co. Donegal into RN helicopters for removal to Dublin and then on to London.



Mountbatten from his TV series in the 1960s or early 70s was a hero to young boys of my generation. His murder is a stain on the soul of my country.



DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 12:49

A cop pulls up 2 Irish drunks and says



"What's your name and where do you live?"



My name is Paddy O'Reilly says the first drunk and I have no address.



"Okay what's your name and address"? the cop says to the second drunk.



My names Seamus O'Reilly and I live in the flat above Paddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 13:22

Very Good Nurse.



An Englishman, Scotsman & Irishman are at the Olympic Games but find they need a ticket to get in. They decide to pretend that they are competitors.



The Englishman picks up a manhole cover and walks through the gate saying, 'Representing England, Discus'

And gets in.



The Scotsman gets a long pole and walks through the gate saying ' Representing Scotland, Javelin'

And gets in.



Poor auld Paddy is flumoxed and can't think what he could do. He then spots a roll of barbed wire and walks through the gate carrying it saying............







Representing Ireland............... Fencing !!!!!

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 13:28

Brilliant ballyboffin.



x

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 13:34

That's more like it!!!





DD

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 13:45

An Englishman, Irishman, Scot and Welshman are working on the roads in England when they find an old lamp.



They all reckon ' What the heck' and give it a rub.



The Genie appears and says that he will give them all one wish, but it has to benefit their country.



The Scotsman wishes that all the lochs and rivers in Scotland be filled with fish.

BOOM !!!! and the fish are teeming.





The Welshman wishes that Wales should have the most lush grass so that the sheep would thrive.

BOOM !!!! and the grass grows 3 feet tall.



The Englishman asks that a wall be built all around England to keep out those Scottish, Irish and Welsh B@strds.

BOOM !!!! and there is a huge wall built around England.



The Irishman thinks for a while but cannot come up with anything that would improve 'Gods Own Country' sure isn't the place like Heaven itself he thought.

So he says to the Genie, 'Tell me about the wall'



The Genie replies 'It is 70 feet high and 10 feet thick'

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 13:50

Continued.



Without further thought Paddy says, 'It has to benefit my country doesn't it ?'



The Genie says that does.



Without further thought Paddy says...................................



'See that wall around England.....................

















FILL IT UP WITH WATER !

newscoop


Joined: 23/12/2007
Posts: 2197

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 15:55

And Izzet closed the English thread why?

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 16:52

Sense of humour failure or maybe there was nothing else to say about the English !!!!!



( Only joking ) Honest.



This one may shortly go the same way.

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 19:39

Message 49.



WHAT HAS OFFENDED YOU ON THIS THREAD ?????

greenman


Joined: 16/02/2008
Posts: 526

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 19:54

It's very un-English to blow our own trumpet. We prefer to leave that to lesser nations. Don't miss the English thread, but then again wouldn't miss this one either.

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 20:10

He hasn't closed down the Scottish one either. But the Celts always did have a better sense of humour and nice way about them!!!



Chris

greenman


Joined: 16/02/2008
Posts: 526

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 20:22

He he!! That made me laugh, so you must be right.

newscoop


Joined: 23/12/2007
Posts: 2197

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 22:45

It's a good point,



Why close the English thread and let this one continue?



at least the English thread didn't slag off Brit soldiers doing their job.

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 23:01

newscoop,



I never would slag off the British soldiers serving here. I appeciate what they did during that time and saw first hand the awful time they had here.



If I have caused any offence, I am truly sorry.



Bb

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 23:08

You know and please let me say an early happy paddys day to all family and friends. We have lived with persecution, we have lived in troubled times almost as long as cyprus, we have been divided, but god gave us one thing no he gave us several as he did most celts. we do not bear a grudge, we laugh, we sing, we laugh at ourselves because the rest of the world laughs about us, oh and can we dance celtic thing. no blacks no dogs no irish, we got over it, not only did we get over it we showed them. ok it maybe the euro should not have been but by god did it lift my ireland out of depression. it showed us celts we have spirit not a stiff upper lip that lets politicians walk over you. The British soldiers did a good job nut they knew the risks as do all YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN FROM USA UK CANADA ITALY..etc, these days they know they are in it to provide fat cats the money, with Ireland it was a religious and political divide. watch the zeitgeist movie it will explain the troubles and how the s

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 23:14

wars are for the rich even down to 9 11, its scary.bush should be shot at dawn when you see this. im not clever enough to put a link on.I love all brits and i love all my irish and generally we get along fine now. the factions that ruin us now are outside us. I did not even know it had ben closed as i miss everything work you know. However enough from me i will get down from my high horse now and its almost paddys day here SO HERES TO YOU ALL IRISH SCOTS WELSH AND ENGLISH if you have irish in you as most do HAPPY PADDYS DAT xxxxxxxxxxx

greenman


Joined: 16/02/2008
Posts: 526

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 23:43

Thank you Lilli, and to you:



An Irish Wish



May you always have...

A sunbeam to warm you,

Good luck to charm you,

And a sheltering angel

So nothing can harm you,

Laughter to cheer you,

Faithful friends near you,

And whenever you pray,

Heaven to hear you.



May your joys

Be deep and many,

May your heart

be light and glad,

May you have the best

St. Patrick's Day

That you have ever had.

May you have all the happiness

And luck that life can hold--

And at the end of your rainbows,

May you find a pot of gold.



May you have love that never ends

Lots of money, and lots of friends.

Health be yours, whatever you do,

And may God send many rainbows to you!



May love and laughter light your days

And warm your heart and home.

May good and faithful friends be yours

Wherever you may roam.

May peace and joy bless your world

And may all life's passing seasons,

bring the best to you and yours.



greenman

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
16/03/2010 23:44

Hi again,



Re Msg 53.



Unless I have missed something, nobody here has slagged off British service personnel at all.



I served on Cyprus in a mixed Irish, British, Canadian, and Finnish unit. No tensions, just mutual respect, a lot of fun, and far too much booze. Many friends were made and friendships continue to this day.



Let's get back to having fun!!!



DD

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 00:17

greenman thats the nicest thing i have ever had, i thank you from the botom of me heart, i still crying. I hope ye all have a great day and i know you will. May god bless and keep you safe. Wish I was with you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 00:21

derm i know how you feel, my father my brother my uncles and cousins fought in the british army xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx what choice did they have

newscoop


Joined: 23/12/2007
Posts: 2197

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 00:25

Dermot;



Are you seriously comparing a cushy UN posting with Northern Ireland?



Enjoy your day.

tamand


Joined: 23/07/2009
Posts: 240

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 07:04

HAPPY St Patricks day te ya all

oi saved this one for today

St Patrick was a feckin SCOTSMAN from Kilpatrick near Dumbarton

cyprusjoker


Joined: 29/08/2009
Posts: 1107

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 07:48

Lillie, thet could have joined the Irish Army.

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 07:53

Message 62 Nice one.



Oh goodness this will upset the apple cart St Paddy was a Scot.!!



Happy St Paddys (Scottish) Day.



Chris

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 08:25

Top o th' morning happy ST Patricks day t ye all.

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 08:32

Paddy and Sean out in the country for a walk when Paddy needs to go for a crap.

Sean '' Go behind the bushes '' which Paddy does.

A few moments later paddy shouts '' Sean, have you any paper '' ?

Sean '' No. Use a docking leaf ''

Paddy '' There's no docking leafs ''

Sean '' You will just have to use a £5 note ''



A few moments later Paddy comes out and his hands are covered in sh..e



Sean '' Did you not use a £5 note like I told you '' ?

Paddy '' I did not have one so I used four £i coins and two 50 pence pieces

cyprusjoker


Joined: 29/08/2009
Posts: 1107

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 08:34

Paddy and mick walking down the road and Paddy falls into a hole.! Mick shouts down, "are you ok Paddy, have you broke anything". No,! says Paddy, theres nothing down here.!

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 08:56

The wisdom of the Irish or how to get to Heaven from Ireland

In a school in Ireland the teacher asked the kids '' If I sold my house and all in it and gave the money to the church, would that get me into Heaven ? ''

The children all shouted '' NO ''

The teacher asked '' If I cleaned the church every day and kept everything tidy,would that get me into Heaven ?'' The children all shouted '' NO ''

She asked '' If I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the childre,would that get me into Heaven ?''

'' No '' shouted the children.

'' So ! How do I get into Heaven ? '' She asked

Little paddy at the back shouted '' You have to be fecking dead ''.

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 12:35

Re Msg 61



Cushy UN posting?



You have never heard of Lebanon then. More Irish service personnel have been killed and wounded by the Israelis and their proxy forces than any other non-enemy.



Would you have considered the British UN deployment in Bosnia to be 'cushy'. Don't think so.



Have a great St Patrick's Day. By the way he was probably FRENCH!







DD

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 13:38

Happy st. Patrick's Day to you all.



Here's another one.



Two Scottish (for a change) lassies are walking home after a night on the tiles.



One says to the other ' Jeez my stomach is griping, that Scotch pie must have been off'



Her friend says 'Yes mine is the same, I don't think that I can make it home'



They are panicking now in case they have an 'accident' and look about for somewhere to relieve themselves.



Spotting the cemetary up ahead they run like mad and climb over the gate, each ducking behind a headstone.



Blessed relief...... then one says to the other



'What are we going to do for toilet roll' her mate says 'Use your knickers'



The other says 'No way these are my best silk ones' so she looks around and finds a card on some flowers and uses that.



The next morning their husbands are discussing them and one says to the other 'I don't know what them women got up to last night, but mine came home without her knickers'

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 13:41

Continued,



The other guy says 'You think that's bad?'



'Mine came home with a note stuck to her @rse saying'



We'll always remember you from



The Glasgow Fire Service

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 14:08

Well done BallyB.



Top notch!



DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 14:10

Bally boffin



You been speaking to my husband then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Chris

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
17/03/2010 14:25

Oh dear Chris, I didn't know that was a true story !!!!!



My husband bought me a St. Patricks Day present. It is a mood ring, being of the age where I get mood swings he reckoned that he could tell how I was feeling just by looking at the ring. It works well.



When I am in a good mood it turns green,



But when I am in a bad mood,



It leaves a feckin' red mark on his forehead !