The Royal Naval Armada on it's way

bridie


Joined: 18/09/2008
Posts: 308

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 16:00

HMS ARKROYAL, HMS ALBION and HMS OCEAN are on their way to the coast of Spain , where stranded holiday makers will be repatriated to UK.

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 16:06

Watch out, Spain! Don't trust a Labour government! The Brits may want revenge for 1588...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 16:38

Admiral Brown's at the helm. Gawd 'elp us!

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 17:05

Bill, in the absence of the British fleet the Dutch may take England..! (We did it before...).

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 17:12

Hans. You would have trouble taking us now - there are almost 70 million of us :(

twoexpats


Joined: 09/04/2009
Posts: 189

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 17:16

Dutch- would the Dutch really want England in it's current state, it having been raped and pillaged by GB and his illustrious predecessor, TB!

keithr


Joined: 20/08/2008
Posts: 720

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 17:29

Yeah,most of them on the scrounge......

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 18:04

Most probably the Dutch would sell England to the USA, to make her position official...

By the way: just heard that the Germans are sending 50 planes to several places in this world to pick up about 15.000 stranded passengers. How about that!

lovingcyprus


Joined: 02/03/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 18:39

I'm surprised that we still have ships left in the Navy after Brown has starved them and all the armed forces of money

minertor



Joined: 14/02/2009
Posts: 1238

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 18:51

Bill, in the absence of the British fleet the Dutch may take England..! (We did it before...).

I thought Abba were Swedish.



Tony

YeniTom


Joined: 29/12/2009
Posts: 198

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 20:23

Gordon Brown's Navy



http://www.upspirits.org.uk/forum/index.php?topic=115.0

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 21:38

Tony. The winner takes it all. )

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
19/04/2010 21:43

YentiTom...thanks for the link....a bit too close?

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 01:27

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."







Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.







Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.







The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."







The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

ang1706


Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 570

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 01:29

Trust the Navy to get all the good jobs!!

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 01:30

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."







The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.."They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".







Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.







The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.







Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.







And at a local level...New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!"

Lemtich



Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 01:31

Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulia will come end riscue us".

In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi".







Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled".







There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level.

keithr


Joined: 20/08/2008
Posts: 720

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 07:23

Knowing that idiot,he'll probably pick up 100,000 asylum seeking scroungers by mistake....

zookeeper


Joined: 17/03/2010
Posts: 168

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 07:44

Could this be a cunning plot for Labour to win the general election?

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 08:38

message 18 you could be right x

ang1706


Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 570

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 10:33

If it is a cunning plot to win election, he dithered again!!

Defence Chiefs were ready on saturday to do something!

spangles


Joined: 22/10/2008
Posts: 411

Message Posted:
20/04/2010 10:44

Lemtich - well done. Gave me my laugh of the morning.