Are older people valued in a modern society

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 08:26

I read a heart warming post on 44 yesterday of a lady who asked for directions to the older persons home in Lapta and the pleasure she gained from visiting and talking to the residents.



This helps to restore my faith in humanity, What are your views on my question ?

moonstone


Joined: 27/08/2009
Posts: 158

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 10:37

What do you mean by 'are older people valued in a modern society'. If I have understood correctly, I would say yes as most of the younger generation depend on older people for good advice as they have probably already lived and experienced many things throughout their lives. They can say how they did something and how they would of done it differently.

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 10:48

Msg 2 Age is just a number, it depends how you look at age, some people may say over 65 is old others would disagree. In saying a modern society I mean these days as compared to say 20,40 50 yrs ago, unfortunately in my past work as a social worker for older people I can assure not all younger people do value the older generation. I am still interested in other peoples comments on this subject.

Dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 10:53

Age IS just a number, and I am far from a doddering old so-and-so, but I so often get the impression while in the supermarket, for example, that younger people are thinking that they wish I would get out of their way and I shouldnt be there in the first place.



BUT, I do live in the UK where tolerance and patience are a rarity these days.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 10:57

It is a bit of a loaded question really, you can't group all old people the same way in the same way that all young, female, bi-sexual, black or white.

Some older than me people are full of information that is useful and some invaluable experience, some however only believe they are and will not accept that things change.

As my daughter told me when I said that her mother and I were just trying to avoid her making the same mistakes we did, "maybe I need to learn from my own mistakes and not yours". I still wouldn't give her permission to smoke but it was a valid comment.

In my experience young people always think they can come up with a better way to do things whereas older people think they have allready learned the best way.

I have often heard the likes of,"I have been doing this for 20 odd years" however it doesn't mean they have been doing it right for so long, only that it has been the same way. Also bear in mind that things change so the old way might just be that.

Paul

Chegwin


Joined: 24/03/2009
Posts: 775

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 10:57

Me Mum is 80 something and she is valuable.

In fact, worth a fortune!!!



Chegwin

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 11:15

Thanks proger for your comments, change is inherently difficult for alot of people who are use to a certain routine this is not exclusive to the older generation. I agree change is sometimes difficult for some older people, like you say you can't group every person in the same way, but this applies to all people not just the older person.

paddywack


Joined: 04/05/2009
Posts: 959

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 11:38

Msg 6,

Sadly that is how many older people are looked upon.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:03

Sadly jamestalbot, I don't think the 'older' generation are valued in a modern society - except by their families that is.

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:17

Hi no1doyen msg 9 who's Gavin

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:19

Sorry jamestalbot, I was reading two posts at the same time. Message amended.

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:20

msg 9 no1doyen, sadly my experience in social work proved to me that not all families value their parents, however I am sure your family is one the one's that does, thanks for your comments.

NanaJan



Joined: 15/10/2009
Posts: 90

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:23

Last weekend we were sitting in Town by a fountain enjoying the pleasant weather. An old man tripped and fell and without a moments hesitation four young lads rushed to his aid. They helped him up and asked if he was OK and then watched as he walked away. The lads in question were about 15 years old and looked like they could have been trouble in another situation. How wrong can appearances be then. It restored my faith in the youth of today and by hearing their accents they were from Liverpool on a day out to Southport and scousers often get bad press. Well done lads and be proud Liverpool.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:23

I agree jamestalbot. I have friends who have children that do not even bother to send them Birthday or Xmas cards. They only call them when they want something.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:28

The younger generation don't care about the older generation anymore - at least not in England. Most don't give there seats up on a train or bus. Most will try and push in front of you in a queue (which results in a near punch up). Most will cut you up whilst driving (even if you are exceeding the speed limit) Most will never hold a door open for you.

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:31

yes your right no1doyen, I have seen some awful behaviour when I was nurse on the wards, a community nurse and a social worker, were when the older person has been next to deaths door they have been around like vultures, yet when the person has recovered these people have disappeared back into the woodwork. So the only value they had was what am i getting in the will, how any one can treat a parent, grandparent or other family member as a possible bank balance to inherit is beyond me.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:34

jamestalbot. Vulture's is the right word for these people.

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:35

yes message 13 I had a similar experience myself, so not all young people are bad, I live in Liverpool for 10 yrs and I know how good they can be.

AlsancakJack



Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 5762

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:36

If you apply the question to the TRNC then you will find the elders of the community are highly respected, especially by the younger generation. I have seen instances of youngsters being told of by their elders (2nd generation elders) and they will not answer back and just hang their heads in shame.

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:43

As I get older, one of my childhood dreams is coming true!





I seem to be becoming invisible, especially to younguns!

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:46

msg 16. I too worked in Social Services as a Home Care Manager, I had an elderly lady who said she had no family whatsoever so she had 4 visits a day 7 days a week free, she went into hospital and she died there, within 3 days her bungalow had been stripped by three daughters one who lived just in the next street, they hadn't visited her in hospital either, I don't know if there had been a family fued but they were together to get what they could.

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:48

Yes AJ i know it is different in the TRNC they are taught at school I believe to respect their elders, they go on school visit's to the older person's residential homes.



It is the same in Greece were I have lived for 7 yrs, they respect adults of all ages, I was helped one night after a night on the vino up to my house by a gang of 15 / 16 yr old lads and girls, they took me to my door and helped me in.



I know it's my fault for having to much to drink, but i am not perfect.

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 16:52

message 21 I have had one daughter after her mother had passed away, come and ask me for her mothers false teeth, to save her buying another pair.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 17:40

Message 20. And you are? )

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 17:42

Jamestalbot. Surely they wouldn't fit - would they?

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 17:53

message 25 I know that she was only thinking of saving herself money, but that's not unusual I had one man who wanted his fathers old underpants which were falling apart. This son use to visit his father every week when his father got his pension, take all his money and leave him 50p for the week. He came to me one week and said "I left my father with 50p last week where is it", I had great difficulty in keeping my professionalism.

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 18:54

Re message 15, I agree with the comments aired. However, I do believe depends on several factors.

Where you live, and how you were brought up etc. Because family values can vary in different countries with different morals and standards.

I work with a few young people, and generally they are good!

And, although I was brought up quite strictly, and always told to respect my elders - having worked in retail for the last 18 months... I am now not so sure!

Not long ago I had a conversation in North Cyprus with a girl then about 21 years old. She was born in London to Turkish Cypriot parents, and moved to Cyprus when she was about 15.

She regularly comes over here to visit friends and family, and I asked her where would she rather live. TRNC or London?

Without hesitation she said Cyprus.

Why I asked and she said that she doesn't like the hassle and trouble in the UK.

"I don't want to shout or swear at anyone," she said.

But I do think everyone should be given a chance???

jamestalbot


Joined: 20/12/2009
Posts: 958

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 19:04

message 27 yes you can't tar everyone with the same brush

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
27/04/2010 19:11

I think here the younger respect there parents and family more because they are dependent on them longer than in the UK.



I have friends here that are in the late twenties / early thirties, with a full time job but still live at home because they cant get a mortgage from the banks. etc



Also you have to think about the local national service, partnerships, marriage, etc.

I think alot of us forget we are along way from the "Western world, UK" we left behind.