JOKE : Iceland Jokes are in

Krin52


Joined: 25/08/2008
Posts: 419

Message Posted:
12/05/2010 15:59

They’re all here! It’s a bit early for Iceland volcano jokes ... we should really wait awhile for the dust to settle.



I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon of ash eruption”.



It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over Europe.



Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.



Iceland, we wanted your cash, not your ash.



Waiter, there's volcanic ash in my soup. I know, it's a no-fly zone.



Richard Curtis is working on a new romantic-comedy about people stuck in an airport who fall in love. The working title is "Lava Actually".



Volcano in Iceland. What next Earthquake in Asda?



I’m voting for the Icelandic Volcano party, they have done more to stop illegal immigration in a week than Labour have managed in the last 10 years.

swannee7


Joined: 21/08/2009
Posts: 394

Message Posted:
12/05/2010 19:17

All hilarious. Thanks for that lot Krin52 !

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
12/05/2010 21:42

My mate came up with another meaning for the word 'excellent'



It was very good.    

Rocker



Joined: 24/09/2008
Posts: 384

Message Posted:
12/05/2010 21:51

To think Iceland is a no smoking zone

Enjoyed the jokes

Rocker

bachelibelly


Joined: 04/09/2008
Posts: 275

Message Posted:
13/05/2010 21:31

Just in time for the BBQ season ..Penguin wings marinated in Volcanic ash ...char grilled better than Tandoori ...

Fawsley


Joined: 01/05/2010
Posts: 59

Message Posted:
13/05/2010 22:44

penguins live at the south pole to keep them away from the polar bears in the north!



the best jokes have to have a modicum of truth.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/05/2010 22:57

Because of the volcanic ash cloud, the German airline Lufthansa has had to fly all its routes South over France. As a Matter of fact There are so many German planes over France this week that France automatically surrendered    

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/05/2010 23:11

'HMS Ark Royal part of fleet to be sent to rescue tourists in Europe'



In further news;



Switzerland once again declare their neutrality, Germany have attacked Russia, Italy have sent a fleet to counter the British but have since changed their minds and joined us, Spain have started a civil war and France have scuttled their Atlantic fleet just in case. Oh, and America have declared they will also send ships, but only when they decide which side is going to win.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/05/2010 23:15

Don't think the Iceland Meteorological Office are taking the problem seriously. Just heard this instruction when I phoned up for information.



"To speak to an operator, please press the ASH key."    

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/05/2010 23:16

Three days now and still all the airports around Europe are closed. Well you can't take risks with this ash potentially clogging up plane engines. Far too dangerous.

The only safe flying, it would seem, is being done by the hundreds of news reporters bringing us those great overhead shots from Iceland.    

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/05/2010 23:21

My wife is stranded in Miami after visiting her parents. Bloody volcano, I'm really starting to miss her.



The house is a tip and all my clothes are dirty.