Job of Mortuary assistant

goodstud


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 6

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:11

Hi, please can anybody give me any information concerning finding a job as a mortuary assistant or a pathologist's assistance?

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:16

You will be lucky, these type of jobs dont come along very often because they are dead good )

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:22

They're dead end jobs! )

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:24

It's always been stiff competition for these jobs )

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:25

I heard of a vacancy here, There was a Homosexual undertaker, he got fired cause he felt dead Earnest....

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:32

Have you thought this job through because its not the type of job anyone can carry off ) you do require a stiff upper lip.

Scoty


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 846

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:50

Rule 6 - off topic???????

Genuine question??? LOS answers!!!!!!

Best of luck in job hunt.

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 21:56

Rule 4 dont question the forum admin !!! - 4. Respect The Forum Admins

Forum admins have the final word. If you have a problem or a complaint, email Izzet off board. Do not post it on the board.

Forum admins do not need to explain their actions. Do not complain about this.



Beam me up Scoty )

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
23/05/2010 23:01

Oh you are naughty but nice,laugh you always get me.!!



Message 1 sorry but doubt you would get a job here doing that.But it is something i have always thought i could do,I once did a bereavement course back home with the Co-Op..you could Start there,and ask about it or any funeral directors would offer you advice.good luck.





Spider,X

bazilbrush


Joined: 29/03/2008
Posts: 404

Message Posted:
24/05/2010 09:49

If you go to the mortuary at the hospital in the summer I don't think you will want a career here in this line of work.

helper


Joined: 16/01/2009
Posts: 235

Message Posted:
24/05/2010 11:17

Hi, no one has posted that some jobs are not allowed to be performed by non nationals, They include many medical posts, paramedics, and most hospital jobs. I do not think you have a chance in this field, good luck to you.

goodstud


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 6

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 05:28

Well, many thanks to you all for your wonderful, funny and challenging comments. I never thought i'd get this many comments, but thanks anyway.

To those of you who showed concern about my being able to carry out such a job, i'd like to let you know that i'm actually not new to such jobs. Besides it's not the oddest job around, or is it? And i never knew so much indigenes of North Cyprus(that includes the Turks) speak/write this fluent english. Where are you guys all hiding?

"Helper" if i understand what you mean, i guess you're saying that such a job cant be given to a non national right? Please kindly explain further, thanks

goodstud


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 6

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 05:28

Hi jock1, please could you tell me where exactly you heard of the vacancy and how i can apply? Thanks.

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 07:18

It was a Homosexual magician who told me, but i heard he vanished with a poof !!!!

bazilbrush


Joined: 29/03/2008
Posts: 404

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 09:13

A man was caught performing necrophilia in the mortuary. He got caught when some body split on him.

Oooops sorry

helper


Joined: 16/01/2009
Posts: 235

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 10:03

Dertain rules here dis -allow foreign nationals from certain posts. An employer has to prove that a national is not available for an existing post beforer they can emply a foreign national. In my experience many jobs are 'not allowed' to be performed by 'outsiders' good luck with your job hunt

cypgab


Joined: 09/01/2010
Posts: 338

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 10:32

The level of immaturity from most contributors is quite disturbing.

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 10:55

cypgab...Did you not know that most of the time this is but a playground..Laugh sometimes i just fall off all my legs laughing. )) )) )





Spider,X

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
25/05/2010 11:19

msg 17 one for you, did you hear about the homosexual cowboy, he rode into town shot up the sheriff and got tossed in jail....

goodstud


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 6

Message Posted:
26/05/2010 11:46

Thanks Jock1, you sure are a very good comedian, and sincerely i appreciate the laugh. Cypgab no hard feelings buddy, and just like spider said, this truly can feel like a playground sometimes. Where you can come and take a laugh, but i understand you though.

Helper, maybe you could help me with an alternative since from your own perspective, it's almost impossible for me to secure a job like this. Could you help me out, i'll do any job, i'm very adept at learning. Hope to hear from you all again, bye.

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
26/05/2010 19:40

goodstud, by cracking the odd joke now and again, it helps keep your post up the top, no bad intention was meant, I do wish you well in seeking employment..good luck

Graham

millzer


Joined: 12/04/2007
Posts: 978

Message Posted:
26/05/2010 21:08

A guy I used to work with many years ago was also a part time funeral director. His surname was Tipping and he hailed from Blackburn. One of his favourite saying in his broad northern accent was.... "If you feel yourself slipping, send for Tipping"



Well I always thought it was funny anyway

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
27/05/2010 00:27

nice and cool job for the summer months lmao,

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
27/05/2010 01:32

millzer - my husband used to be a funeral director, having retired from the fire brigade.



"One minute pulling people out of fires - next minute, putting them in".



I know this sounds unkind, but I think it's one of those jobs where a 'warped' sense of humour is essential.



Big like working for the NHS - in more ways than one

goodstud


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 6

Message Posted:
27/05/2010 22:37

Many thanks to you all, and to Graham, you sound like a very cheerful person. Seriously, i might go crazy if i don't find something to keep me busy this summer,i'm not looking for a fat pay, i just want to keep busy. Well i think i'll keep searching anyway.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/05/2010 22:49

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after the examination.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.

"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol Poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Paddy from Belfast, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken."