Joke:- Retirement at 65

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 17:11

Upon reaching 65, I decided to retire.

After having me under foot for a few months, my wife became very agitated with me. She suggested I go and do something to occupy my time, like join a club or get a hobby. I obliged and went out for a couple of hours..

When I got home my wife asked about my day and I replied, "Oh, I just went down to the park and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club.

"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."

"You crazy old man, where's your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

"Oh, great! Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps a week!"

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 17:12

you little buggar xx

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 19:43

Lulu was a prostitute but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and Lulu was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes lined up along the driveway when, suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.



Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?"



Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Lulu told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.



"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and she proceeded to the back of the line.



A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes.



   

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 19:46

When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"



"I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry..."



The policeman fainted.

   

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 19:59

A young man was in town looking for a little something from the ladies. A cab driver gave him an address and told him he could find anything he wanted there.



When the young man arrived, he saw a door with a small panel on it. He knocked and the panel slid open. A female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed," said the man.

"OK, but this is a private club. Slide twenty bucks in the slot as an initiation fee," answered the voice.



The man slid twenty dollars in the slot, the panel closed, and ten minutes passed. Nothing happened.

He began to pound on the door, and the panel slid open.

"Hey," exclaimed the man, "I want to get screwed!"

"What?" said the voice, "Again?"

   

Arthur


Joined: 04/11/2008
Posts: 687

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 20:29

Say what you like about paedophiles, at least they drive slowly past schools...............

paddywack


Joined: 04/05/2009
Posts: 959

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 20:43

Msg6,

Tasteless comment, nowhere does it refer to the original post

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
30/05/2010 20:46

Message 7 I agree 100% with you re message 6



Message 1

You are old enough to know better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Chris

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
31/05/2010 06:36

Lucky escape then. All that falls from the sky is bird s..t and idiots.

CJtill


Joined: 02/05/2008
Posts: 836

Message Posted:
31/05/2010 09:52

Arthur

It maybe a little bit tasteless to some, but as a joke it is Funny.

Michael