Only in the UK

Talla



Joined: 18/12/2007
Posts: 37

Message Posted:
15/07/2008 00:04

These are genuine clips from British Council flat (apartment) tenants complaining to the Council about problems with their flats. 20 of the best:-



1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my

back passage has fungus growing in it.



2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.



3. It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.



4. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6 a.m. His cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.



5. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.



6. Our neighbour's 18-year-old son is continually banging

his balls against my fence.



7. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.



8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?



9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.



10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.



11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.



12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.



13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.



14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.



15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour & not fit to drink.



16. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.



17. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.



18. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.



19. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.



20. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.

I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

pilgrim



Joined: 11/05/2007
Posts: 1404

Message Posted:
15/07/2008 00:20

Very amusing.

Turtle


Joined: 28/05/2007
Posts: 2669

Message Posted:
15/07/2008 18:48

Priceless !!

ilovemydogs



Joined: 20/04/2008
Posts: 514

Message Posted:
15/07/2008 19:16

this was on the jokes thread a while back. still very funny

wynyardman



Joined: 15/12/2007
Posts: 4580

Message Posted:
16/07/2008 15:06

Back in the UK........All jokes and humour welome!......Brown on Sky News1



Heaven help us!



wyn