Funny england jokes, some naughty (sorry)

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 09:44

Teacher asks the class "what does your dad do at the weekends" A little boy says " He's dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the moneys is right he lets the punters bang his a@@e and c@@e in his gob. The teacher takes him outside and says "is this true? "No miss its bol@@cks,he's the goalkeeper for England but I'm too embarrassed to say

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 09:46

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"



I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 09:54

Just heard the England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning. "It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the­ impossible"......................said Jamal Umboto, aged 6.

matula


Joined: 07/07/2008
Posts: 647

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 11:59

Keep 'em coming ataturk----I love them.

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 12:15

Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 12:19

What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 12:21

The England lads had a get-together after the game and bought Robert Green a drink to commiserate. He spilled it.

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 12:25

Some good news though,in training today David James had 400 shots fired at him and didn't concede a goal. Tomorrow he and Emile Heskey will train with the rest of the team

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
20/06/2010 23:26

All future televised England games will now be moved to Adult Gay Channel as watching 11 ar*eh*les being hammmered for 90 minutes is too explicit for regular TV.



DD

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
21/06/2010 23:31

Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance on Friday was completely s**t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 00:56

dd loved it xxxxxxxx cant wait for wednesday to see them go. You know the guy who charged into thier dressing room was a greek cyp xx

ozwozz86


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 336

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 00:59

bloody brilliant. i'm in stitches here.



more please...

steveafc


Joined: 12/12/2008
Posts: 405

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 07:52

that fan said '' i was only looking for a toilet''.................seems like he found one !

ataturk


Joined: 09/09/2008
Posts: 712

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 09:53

The England Team are getting a new coach! It'll be waiting to take them to the airport on wednesday night

eager


Joined: 23/02/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 10:22

Lillie msg 11....."can't wait for wednesday to see them go"...any reason for this,... are you anti English ?

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 07:04

Again rumoured that hair blower Fergie leaving Man U to take over as England Coach. His teeth are being removed to make way for seats.

tattlad


Joined: 13/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 11:39

I heard that bloke that was due to be shot by firing squad in America wanted to pick his own firing squad, he wanted Rooney Heskey Lampard and Gerrard.