Why do so many people hide thier e-mail address ?

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 13:03

It has probably been asked before but I have recently come to the point where I would have liked to communicate with someone for both good and bad reasons off board only to find they have hidden thier e-mail addresses.

There are occassions when I wish to give information to someone without airing it publicly but have had to resort to doing exactly that and am now being accused of being a trouble maker.

I am afraid I don't understand why people won't show thier mail address. It is cyberspace, you can't be located by it and unsolicited e-mails are only a problem if you open them sometimes.



Is it because of another reason, please enlighten me, by e-mail if you wish as I might be completely wrong, it seems I may have been a lot lately but if educated to something I am unaware of I would be very appreciative.



Paul

Jovial_John


Joined: 31/01/2009
Posts: 1024

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 13:10

For myself it is because email addresses for a host of Cyprus44 members were published on the dark side to encourage people to identify/harrass us.

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 13:28

myself its one of the reasons as above, and by choosing who you want to receive emails from, as there is the element on here who just email to be nasty..... Another reason why some of us chat on Niges forum privately without the nasty bit...... lol

waddo


Joined: 29/11/2008
Posts: 1966

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 13:42

It must be wonderful to be able to snipe from a hidden position! In fairness I think a lot of people are still afraid of computers and email, some belive that if you give away your email address then with it goes your bank details, inside leg measurement and all manner of strange things. Truth is that unless you are very careful then all that has gone along with your IP address anyway.



However, if you want to feel safer about it all - have two email addresses - give one out to anyone and keep the other for your friends/family/bank manager etc. I have three at the moment and it works just fine - one is for junk mail, one is for serious stuff and one is for me to use when you have to give out your email address before you can download things!



I do not condone the use of multiple email addresses for those with memory problems, I think, or do I - anyway, its yellow!

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 14:04

I had my email on show from day one but after first receiving threatening emails from a member of the forum then being ridiculed and insulted by another I decided to hide it to avoid any repetition of either, also it's my choice to display it or not.

EsentepeKav


Joined: 21/06/2010
Posts: 24

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 14:21

I do not like unsolicited e-mails and you will find people who will join forums just like this to gather address data. Also I have found in the past that people can get nasty and threatening if you do not agree with their point of view - so for those reasons I keep mine hidden

dublinderm


Joined: 26/09/2009
Posts: 538

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 14:22

I had to hide my Email address as my employer has partnership agreements with operators in Southern Cyprus.



I have a new Gmail address at home so I will put that up now.



I can appreciate where hattikins is coming from, not everyone wants to received unsolicited mail. There is nothing to stop people of ill intent from 'harvesting' addresses from the forum for future use.



DD

denizen



Joined: 21/08/2009
Posts: 388

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 14:23

I removed mine when someone told me a certain member was "selling" them to online salespeople. Don't know if it's true, or even possible, just wanted to be safer than sorrier.

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 14:23

There you go then hattikins, and you were the one slagging me off on this forum for not putting up my email from day one! Funny old life isnt it...

Now you know WHY some of us prefere not to have those type of people writing to us....

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 14:27

All valid reasons and thanks for the answers so far.



I suppose I was hoping to get no answers so that people might start to put there addresses up.



There have been a couple of occassions where I have wanted to answer peoples questions with advice that I know some would not be happy about and didn't want to make it public.

Also, as I said, I was accused of stirring trouble which I was genuinely not doing but after reading other recent posts of mine I could understand why the poster might think it was the case. The posts that made me look like this would have been better in a private mail but that was not possible.

My problem is that if I feel wrong done by I need to reply or I feel like I have accepted what ever has been said and so will everyone else.

I should learn to just forget about these things but then nothing will change.



Time for meditation again, I think, Paul

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 14:32

I think if you check back it was a certain gentleman who you now are well aquainted with who had a pop at you for not displaying your email. I have no interest whatsoever in your email address and would never wish to communicate with you privately, why would I ?

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 15:50

if you read think you were a cohort with another member! but nobody, yes nobody should put up their email addresses as sometimes it can be as you have found out, pretty nasty......

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 17:20

oooops wish there was a delete and adjust on here....



should read.... If you read hattikins, think you were a cohort with another member!

waddo


Joined: 29/11/2008
Posts: 1966

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 17:43

If you receive email of a threatening nature or that contains abuse and personal attack - try this for an idea:



Start a thread on this board called "Threats & Abuse". Then cut and paste the email into a message from yourself such as: Just received this from aggon@hotmail.com and thought I would ask for peoples opinions.



Don't forget to add the senders email address, after all bullying should be made public and not tolerated by anyone!



In the past I have simply saved up such emails and then at an appropriate time - sent them all back, did not cure the situation but made me feel happier, then I got an official email from my provider telling me my email address was no longer available for my use as I had sent threatening and abusive emails - to the guy who had originally sent them to me, don't figure.

EsentepeKav


Joined: 21/06/2010
Posts: 24

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 18:38

I do not like unsolicited e-mails and you will find people who will join forums just like this to gather address data. Also I have found in the past that people can get nasty and threatening if you do not agree with their point of view - so for those reasons I keep mine hidden

Hilltop



Joined: 28/04/2008
Posts: 636

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 18:41

Paul........Grow up and get a life. This is the internet, not real life. It does not matter a jot!!

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 18:49

Oooh , thats a bit strong

simbas

yorgozlu



Joined: 16/06/2009
Posts: 4437

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 18:50

msg 1;Paul;

The best policy in life is to be who you are,so for that reason alone stay as you are.



Here is an old Turkish saying;

"ben ne insanlar gordum giyecek elbisesi yok,ne elbiseler gordum icinde insan yok"

as for what it means!!!...................

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 18:55

But Hilltop, it matters to me.



I have a wonderful life and even have chest hairs so I suppose I must be grown up.



Is there any other useless suggestions that you might have for me or perhaps you might just answer the question.



Either way I understand.



I am what my personality makes me and that is someone who doesn't like being accused of something without justification. I also unfortunately have the issue that I can't let things lay in regards to this. To me it's a sign of weakness and I will fight to prove that I am not weak, unfortunately I end up causing abrasiveness in third parties when I air things in public, hence the question in the first place.



I have had several reasonable answers and for those folk, thankyou.



Just for you Hilltop, nevermind, it has been too long a day.



Paul

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 19:09

Paul

This forum and the workings of it are but a pimple on top of the world, sit back, chill out, reflect on your navel but please don't get yourself in a tizzy over insignificant things and people. We are who we are, warts and all. If it all gets too much just log off !!!!!

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 19:14

Didn't mean you were insignificant Hilltop, just a turn of phrase I chose to use.

cypgab


Joined: 09/01/2010
Posts: 338

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 19:16

You ask a question and then get niggled when it is not answered to your liking.



Your response is the answer to your question.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 19:23

hattikins, I appreciate what you are saying and even understand what Hilltop is saying although I would have chosen a slightly less offensive way to do it. I did however stop using the forum at all for 1 month and then it started all over again, I can't see why I should have to walk away alltogether for being offended.

The forum is very useful and I have gained and hopefully given some help through quite a few people.

I just get cheesed off by some people who think as Hilltop has mentioned, it is just the internet, the problem is the people on the other end of the comments are humans, not computers.

Surely as has been mentioned many times before, people are not this way in real life and if so, why do they choose to be like it when on a keyboard.

This is getting boring and mundane now so I will shut up and see if I can find something else more interesting to read, maybe football, I hear there is a competition on somewhere.



Paul

sienna


Joined: 09/01/2009
Posts: 1627

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 19:37

keep smiling Paul )))))))) go get a beer watch the footie - lifes too short

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
22/06/2010 20:09

Blimey Paul, whats going on to get your back up? Are you ok?



DD

HildySmith


Joined: 02/07/2009
Posts: 1708

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 01:16

hatikins - it does matter

look what happened to that pensioner Katy (whatever her name was) verbally attacked outside a pub because someone found out her user name (not even her email address) she was pretty cut up about it.

Bullying is bullying wherever it takes place and the only way to deal with bullys/cowards is to take action.

cypgab


Joined: 09/01/2010
Posts: 338

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 01:49

Perhaps she deserved a rollicking. How can we judge when you don't give any further information?

booitsme


Joined: 04/02/2009
Posts: 667

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 10:12

Paul, I won't put my email address as a while ago I problems with a stalker (who went on to rape his victims who didn't get to the police on time) for over 6 months. He somehow managed to gain access to ALL my contact details so now I'm vey wary about giving out my details. If I need/want to contact another board member if I think I can give help or advice I will contact them by email but otherwise it stays private.

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 10:27

Re message 26

I didn't say it didn't matter, what I said was why get yourself worked up over whether or not people choose to disclose their email address, if they do they do, if not, so what.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 10:39

Thanks for all the replies folks, I was in a very irrational mood yesterday (completely my own issue, which I should resolve myself, I know) and somehow thought that writing this post might get some people who hide behind anonymity to explain publicly why they choose to argue on a public forum but will not give the opportunity for it in private. As I said I was being irrational and my logic was flawed, I realised I was coming across as a trouble maker in public when I wanted to do my stupidly agressive replies in private.

For this I apologise to all, I did not intend to be aggresive to anyone but the person who had made me angry.

I grew up in a society where if someone had an issue with me we would discuss it privately and not publicly and then fell into the trap of doing that exact thing myself.



I appreciate that many people have very valid reasons for thier anonymity and again apologise to all for my behaviour except of course to the person who caused my stupidity.



Paul

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 12:16

God posting Paul - well said!

kaiserphil


Joined: 14/12/2008
Posts: 1096

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 12:16

Or even 'good'!

cypgab


Joined: 09/01/2010
Posts: 338

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 13:07

Paul, you have again answered you own question.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 13:17

cypgab, I didn't reply to that comment the first time because it didn't make sense to me. The second time is just irritating.

After only reading a couple of your postings, you strike me as another of those people who only try to annoy with little snippets so I hope you will not be too offended if I don't answer to you like I am trying to do with others who get me wound up in the future.

I will stick to trying to help and/or requesting information and assistance from others, I am protecting myself from my own anger. I hope you undersatand.



Paul

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 13:38

Hi Paul i do not hide my email and if i were to have problem emails from people on here i would just name and shame them..and put the email onto the forum for all to see.Whatever is wrong with that anyway.? Oh and just for the record my name is not Alex.





















Hi Paul.I do not hide my email and if i were to get problem emails from anyone on her i would just name and shame them whats wrong with that.? My email is only given to friends and family so if i were to get any strange ones they would have to come from someone on the forum..and for the record my name is not Alex. )





Spider,X

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 13:52

Good response Paul well said I for one enjoy your postings

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 14:01

Spider, I am afraid I am lost with the Alex reference but good for you on the name and shame front.

I have had a couple of very good reasons people have for not showing thier e-mails but ironically enough those people still show thier names. I understand that to mean they are concerned about web security but not afraid to say who they are.

Some people hide every detail and even have fake photographs but still want us to believe they are not hiding for the purpose of being rude.



Oops, give me a moment and I will get back down from my high (very high really) horse.



Paul

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 15:18

I think people show their name because it seems more polite, for instance I would much rather address you as Paul than Proger, just seems a bit more personal I suppose.