Joke:- Paddy in a lift

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 13:15

Skinny little Paddy goes into a lift, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.







The big guy sees little Paddy staring at him, he looks down and says:



'7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown.'



Paddy faints and falls to the floor.



The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says,

"What's wrong with you ?"



In a weak voice Paddy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'



The big man says, 'I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the



answers to the questions everyone always asks me.....







I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh



3 pounds each and my name is Turner Brown.'



"Turner Brown?...Sweet Jazus, I tought you said, Turn around "

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 13:46

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter Scale has hit Pakistan . Two million Pakistanis have died, and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.





The USA is sending troops to help.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Latin American countries are sending supplies.

New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

The Asian continents are sending labor to assist in rebuilding infrastructure.

Australia is sending medical teams and supplies.

Britain , not to be outdone, is sending two million Pakistanis as replacements...

God Bless British generosity.

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 23:19

Paddy is p....d at an office party and asks where the toilet is. He is told "go out of the office, turn right and at the end of the corridor turn right again and it is the second on the left". 20 minutes later Paddy has not returned so his workmates go and look for him but he is not in the toilet. They then hear moaning and groaning coming from the other end of the corridor which on investigation reveals open doors to a lift shaft from which the noises are coming punctuated by many expletives. One of his mates gingerly approaches the yawning chasm, cups his hands and shouts down the shaft "Are you OK Paddy". After some gurgling noises they are relieved to here Paddy shout back "Bejasus, for Christ's sake don't fluuuuuuush it" !

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
23/06/2010 23:22

Oops sorry delete here insert hear

oddjob


Joined: 16/09/2008
Posts: 62

Message Posted:
27/06/2010 16:29

Paddy and Mick go to the funfair and decide to go on the Roller Coaster. Paddy says, 'Mick, if we go on that roller coaster, we might go upside down and fall out.' Mick says, 'Dont be stupid Paddy, we've bin mates for years'!!!!!