Joke: Warning, not for easily offended and/or true england supporters!

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 12:22

EMERGENCY SERVICES FIGHT TO AVOID DISASTROUS FLOODS IN SCOTLAND:



Serious flooding was fortunately abated yesterday after 5 million people pished themselves laughing as the final whistle blew and the Germans humped the guffys 4-1.

HotHippo


Joined: 25/03/2010
Posts: 402

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 12:25

These floods were a worldwide phenomenon - definitely not restricted to Scotland!!

skoda


Joined: 21/06/2010
Posts: 37

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 13:06

Double glazing sales at an all time high in scotland. Children unable to hear the ice cream van chimes.



Scotsman dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter said you have been a good man all your life but I cant let you in. I am not prepared to make porridge for one.

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 16:57

I hear OXO are making a new product.



The packaging is white with a red cross.















Name:-

















THE LAUGHING STOCK





















Sorry folks couldn't resist it, didn't mean it honest!!!





Chris

ripoffrock


Joined: 05/08/2008
Posts: 255

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:29

I guess the water pumps etc have been busy in Scotland as they had just completed the clean up of tears from when,

THEY DIDN'T EVEN GET A SNIFF AT QUALIFYING

Now the in-continent jocks have to clean up a nation full of piss.



HA HA good ancient old jokes!!!

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:35

now that is just down right offensive ripoff, we most certainly did have a sniff, we just completely screwed it up.



Just remember that piss flows downhill.



Can't we have just a little fun, we had to put up with the media spouting about this being the year, pretty much the same every four years when it comes to football. At least give us a couple of days to take the micky.



By the way, sorry about the jokes being so old, England left the tournament so quickly we hadn't prepared any new ones yet. Boom, Boom

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:48

proger1, you shouldn't criticise other people when they reply to your lame jokes. I'm not replying as an England football fan because I don't watch football.

eager


Joined: 23/02/2007
Posts: 1272

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:51

They are an utter disgrace !!!! and i'm an Englishman, Don't mind the jokes at all.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:52

Mike, that wasn't a criticism, it was the truth, we did screw it up, and I was trying to follow on with what I thought was more humour, obviously I missed the mark as far as you are concerned, I hope somebody gets it though or else I will be in for more abuse.



Maybe I should have put the smilies after my first line and then it would have been more obvious.

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:53

sorry mate

Stubs


Joined: 01/07/2008
Posts: 641

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:54

At a press conference Fabio Capello was asked about his formation and if would go 4-4-2.



"No" he replied " I think we'll go 7-4-7, its bigger and has more legroom!"

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:55

ps thats the problem with forums/sms etc. Easily to misunderstand things

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:55

no probs, I re-read it after your post and realised the first 3 lines were rather subjective, I probably should have left out the piss comment though, it wasn't very nice, sorry all

ripoffrock


Joined: 05/08/2008
Posts: 255

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 18:59

Paul,

You really must explain yourself better



HE HE



You have an Englishman misunderstanding English

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 19:02

Maybe someone should have told the PFA about that problem when they appointed Capello, if you struggle with my english, how do you think the team felt

FulhamFan



Joined: 28/02/2010
Posts: 97

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 19:15

David Blaine is said to be gutted as his record for doing f--k all in a box for 42 days has just been broken by Wayne Rooney..

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 19:23

lol Fulham fan. I REALLY liked that one.

keithr


Joined: 20/08/2008
Posts: 720

Message Posted:
28/06/2010 20:09

I am not a football fan at all,why are these idiots paid so much money to fail ??? With their millions in the bank,they should overcome little issues and win,that is what they are paid to do !!!!