“Best Chat-up Line I Never Used”

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
29/06/2010 11:54

A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, ‘Is your date running late?’



‘Nope’, he replies,



‘I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.’



The intrigued woman says, ‘a state-of-the-art watch?’



‘What’s so special about it?’



The cowboy explains, ‘It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.’



The lady says, ‘What’s it telling you now?



‘Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.



‘The woman giggles and replies ‘Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!’



The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says,



‘Damn thing’s an hour fast.’

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
29/06/2010 13:07

Go on tootie keep you watch on and try that one out. )







Spider,

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
29/06/2010 13:25

Man dancing with a girl says:

"Watch out! Your bra's coming off".

Girl checks it and says:

"No it isn't".

Man says:

"Yes it is. I've made my mind up".

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
29/06/2010 13:49

Vaughan,

You're showing your age

I swear that that was one of the jokes that Jimmy Tarbuck used the very first time that he was on TV...

- in 19 hundred and 'bloomin 'eck'

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
29/06/2010 13:54

Keith,



Is it true your first TV was a black and white jobbie in a walnut cabinet thqat took about 10 mins for all the valves to warm-up?

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
29/06/2010 14:36

Yes!

Wanna make something of it?

Actually I made a drinks cabinet of it, when it finally 'expired'

When I started work EVERYTHING ran on valves - transistors had only just been invented, and were not available for use in 'Consumer Equipment' - let alone Integrated circuits !

One of the main selling points of any TV or Radio equipment was 'The lovely cabinet, truly a piece of furniture...'

Anyway, there's nowt wrong wi' valves - they'll survive all your EMP from Nuclear explosions and that, unlike your foreign inter-me-grated circuit rubish!

Marvo


Joined: 30/04/2007
Posts: 194

Message Posted:
29/06/2010 14:40

A bloke dancing with a girl and say's ' come outside with me kid and I'll show you something you've never seen before'.



She replies ' oh whats that then'.



He replies ' the soles of your feet in my door mirrors'.

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
04/07/2010 09:59

And what better 'chat-up' line[s] can there be than the following, melodiously sung by everyone's favourite Australian bard???!!!



Do NOT click this link if the least upset by 'male chauvinist pigs'!!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeWAdzFmI10