Joke :- The Irish Girls Homecoming

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
18/07/2010 10:15

An Irish girl had not been home for over a year.

Upon her return, her Father cussed her.





Where have ye been all this time?

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff..Dad...I became a prostitute...'

'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'





'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat,

Title Deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate,

for me little brother, this gold Rolex, and for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ..'





'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.



Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy!

'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.

Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.'

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
18/07/2010 10:16

ken xxxxxxx

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
20/07/2010 15:44

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her “Stammers Action Group”.



Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said

"If any of you can tell me, without stuttering, the name of the town where you were born, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water. So, who wants to go first?"



The Englishman piped up.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham."



"That's no use Trevor" said the speech therapist. "Who's next?"



The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley".



“That's no better; I'm afraid there'll be no sex for you Hamish. How about you Paddy?”



The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out "London".



“Brilliant, Paddy!” said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.



After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said "-d-d-d-d-d-derry

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
20/07/2010 16:36

Filth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

katjusha


Joined: 21/06/2010
Posts: 226

Message Posted:
20/07/2010 16:43

very funny, but I thought it s a property forum!

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
20/07/2010 16:58

A filth comment from Jock its like the forum gold medal. yeeeeeeeeeeeeees

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/07/2010 19:10

It is a property forum. The Irish girl gave her mum a 10 bedroomed house and the Irish guy had a house in Londonddddddery )

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/07/2010 19:38

For my sons birthday we bought him an i-pod, my daughter got an i-phone for hers, and for my birthday i was pleased to receive an i-pad. So thinking along the same lines I got my wife an i-Ron and then the fight started.    

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
20/07/2010 21:29

Every year I always buy the Wildebeest a sweater for her birthday. If too large she is flattered and, if too small, she wears it !

ozwozz86


Joined: 24/10/2008
Posts: 336

Message Posted:
21/07/2010 12:35

Brilliant jokes. Made my day.