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ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 11:55

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Message 1 of 13 in Discussion

The Dam





This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.





SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County



Dear Mr. DeVries:



It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.





A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.





The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.





We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.



The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.



Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.



Sincerely,



David L. Price

District Representative and Water Management Division.





Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:





Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County



Dear Mr. Price,



Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to.

I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania.



A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris."



I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.







These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.



My first dam question to you is:



(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or



(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?



If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issu



chrissie


Joined: 29/01/2008
Posts: 50

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 12:09

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Message 2 of 13 in Discussion



absolute genius !! well found.



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 12:25

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Message 3 of 13 in Discussion

i like beavers.............



ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 12:31

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Message 4 of 13 in Discussion

who doesn't jock. they are mans best friend. just a bit of a shy creature



No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 12:55

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Message 5 of 13 in Discussion

yes - stroke them gently and they'll be your friend for life.



ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 13:01

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Message 6 of 13 in Discussion

yes I agree Bill, if they win your trust



jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 13:14

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Message 7 of 13 in Discussion

Two beavers walk in to their house, one of the beavers leaves the door open, the other beaver says shut the dam door...........



ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 13:18

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Message 8 of 13 in Discussion

hee hee jock



wynyardman



Joined: 15/12/2007
Posts: 4580

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 13:19

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Message 9 of 13 in Discussion

ILC,



Enjoyed that. Good light reading!



Wyn



ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 13:26

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Message 10 of 13 in Discussion

glad you enjoyed it wyn and chrissie. I love these type of letters. Some people can write so well



Chris


Joined: 26/03/2008
Posts: 454

Message Posted:
01/08/2008 20:35

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Message 11 of 13 in Discussion

Priceless!!



Chris



I have e-mailed it to my aunty in Florida, she will love it!!



rayz1


Joined: 22/03/2008
Posts: 65

Message Posted:
02/08/2008 19:17

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Message 12 of 13 in Discussion

Ive not laughed so much for ages itshould be compulsory to read at the start of your day



MUSIN M


Joined: 26/06/2008
Posts: 1352

Message Posted:
02/08/2008 19:33

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Message 13 of 13 in Discussion

dam beavers



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