blonde jokes by degree!

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 10:54

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here?!' and hung up.



The husband said, 'Who was that?'



The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'



SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'



The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'



So, the first blonde hands her the compact.



The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 10:56

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on he; so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.



The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'



The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'



FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'



A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'



The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy.... it's W.'

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 10:57

FIFTH DEGREE

Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?



A: 'Is it mine?'



SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.



Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

steveafc


Joined: 12/12/2008
Posts: 405

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 11:41

english blonde answers the phone, operator says " long distance from America"

blonde says "yes i know" and puts the phone down !

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 11:44

Chris







J

x



PS I'm a brunette (I think)

Harold2555



Joined: 19/04/2008
Posts: 1139

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 15:28

Chris



Funny thank you but do you kinow how many blonde jokes there are?













One ( the rest are true stories!)





H

Carndi


Joined: 12/06/2009
Posts: 613

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 16:47

A surgeon went to check his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her.

'' You'll be fine,'' he said.

She asked '' how long will it be until I can have a normal sex life doctor again doctor ? ''

The surgeon paused, which alarmed the girl.

'' Whats the matter doctor. I will be all right,won't I ? ''

'' Yes '' he replied, '' you'll be fine. It's just that I have never had anyone ask me that after having their

tonsils out.''

Dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 16:50

Two blondes walking down the street



One says Ah look at that poor dead bird



The other looks upwards and says 'Where'

taraakadli


Joined: 30/07/2010
Posts: 85

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 18:16

Two blondes where out on a nature walk, when they came across some tracks. They stood there aurguing,

''they are bear tracks'' one said.

''Noo, they are fox tracks'' the other one aurgued.

The next day the headlines read, TWO BLONDES KİLLED BY TRAİN.

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 20:27

What is an intelligent Blonde?









A Golden Retriever

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 20:28

What is the difference between laying a Blonde and Laying a Brick?









A Brick does not stalk you for months afterwards.............

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
30/08/2010 21:09

Message 10



Mr Saint good to see you posting again! Thought the punch line was going to be ME not a dog!



Harold message 6 Yes I do know how many blonde jokes there are I have been the butt of most of them.



Chris

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
01/09/2010 09:02

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Essex .

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.



Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?”



“It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humour! "



The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, “You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little monster on your knee!"

Mertbalin



Joined: 09/07/2009
Posts: 171

Message Posted:
01/09/2010 10:38

Blonde was in a shopping mall.



She was going to 2. floor, on the automatic stairs, and suddenly there was a power down.



She waited for 3 hours, until the stairs worked again )

Mertbalin



Joined: 09/07/2009
Posts: 171

Message Posted:
01/09/2010 10:40

The blonde was hungry and called the pizza shack.



She ordered her favorite pizza on the phone.

The Pizza Guy asked if she wanted her pizza to be sliced to 6 or 8



Blonde paused for a while, and said 6 please, i am on a diet