these couple on honeymoon (Joke)

HAPPY FEET


Joined: 18/07/2008
Posts: 416

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 19:05

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, 'What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.



'I had tolio as a child,' he answered.



'You mean polio?' she asked.



'No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes.



When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked



'What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!



'As a child, I also had kneasles,' he explained.



'You mean measles?' she asked.



'No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees.



The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.



As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.



'Don't tell me,' she said.



'Let me guess...









SMALLCOX ?

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 19:14

Funny jokes, one liner jokes, short jokes, racist jokes, clean jokes, kid jokes, pick up lines & jokes pictures. 268 Million (268.000.000) jokes including your joke. Click here and you have them all: http://is.gd/eRFHF .

P.S. Do all the jokers on this board really think that other members cannot Google jokes themselves?!

P.P.S. Try to find a subject related to TRNC, please.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2918

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 19:17

An englishman, a scotsman and a trncman. No, it just doesn't have the same ring to it DC.

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 19:39

DC get a life and stop going on at people.

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 19:53

LaptaMike get a life and stop going on at people: http://www.cyprus44.com/forums/43298.asp

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 22:10

Well DC, if you hadn't been so derogatory about the English while at Guidos I might have let it go. Unfortunately you made unjust comments which I found offensive, therefore I will criticise you on this board like you like doing to everyone else.



If you make a full apology for your remarks that you made on your birthday I will let further messages from you go.

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 22:14

To resign is a resignation, not a reincarnation!



Richard

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 22:24

My mate asked me "Do you think reincarnation is real?"



I said "not in this lifetime!"    

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 22:31

Bill

The only mates I know of come from a vending machine and if they fail, it will cost me a lifetime!



Richard

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 23:24

just got a good joke of my mate, too offensive to post on here though ;-)

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 23:26

Go for it mike! )

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 23:31

heavily censored version







So I'm sat behind this idiot who obviously can't drive: he's weaving all over the road, cutting people up. So I'm sat there shouting at him, "You stupid P*** c***, learn to f*****g drive!"



At this point he told me to get out of his cab.

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
02/09/2010 23:36

before anyone complains, I did say it was offensive

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 00:09

I notice there is no apology forthcoming from Hans. What a suprise

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 00:20

Clog must be blogging!



Richard

apc2010


Joined: 28/07/2010
Posts: 1689

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 01:25

beware offensive...................































I just went to my first muslim birthday party. musical chairs was a bit slow, but f*** me, pass the parcel was quick!!

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 08:54

RE msg 14, LaptaMike: (...) I notice there is no apology forthcoming from Hans. What a suprise (...)

=> I apologise. Some people don't read this board at nine minutes past midnight (your post).

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11280

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 09:05

RE msg 6, LaptaMike: (...) Well DC, if you hadn't been so derogatory about the English while at Guidos I might have let it go. Unfortunately you made unjust comments which I found offensive, therefore I will criticise you on this board like you like doing to everyone else. If you make a full apology for your remarks that you made on your birthday I will let further messages from you go. (...)

=> Amazing that you only got angered when you got home! And I still think that the English kitchen is nothing much compared to the French kitchen. Just my opinion. And I certainly don't like Heinz baked beans. What a child you are.

You preserve the right to plead for less football on C44 and when I do the same re: jokes you come up with your silly reason above. Go ahead if it makes you happy to write hypocritical messages ( http://www.cyprus44.com/forums/43298.asp ). Childish.

By the way: I won't reply to you again.

mikelapta



Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 2186

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 09:45

Well,Hans,this is the original Mike Lapta,the one with the beauty spot.

I'm the very nice man,who plays Tavla,and who is polite to everyone.

I'm sorry I missed your birthday....Congratulations on another year !!!!

Mike

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 10:29

hmm DC, why apologise at 8.54am this morning and then at 9.05am start being offensive again? (rhetorical question, not expecting a reply) You appear to be schizophrenic to me, or maybe you had the first beer of the day in between the posts.



=> Amazing that you only got angered when you got home!



Unlike you the English try to show some decorum in public. If you had not been so self absorbed in your own petty little mind you would have noticed me cough loudly, look at you sternly then turn my back to you.



Thats the end of it as far as I'm concerned.

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 10:53

LaptaMike,

"...you would have noticed me cough loudly, look at you sternly then turn my back to you..."

OOOOOOH - CUTTING !



I Like it

TopTen


Joined: 15/04/2009
Posts: 1246

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 12:05

I am with Laptamike all the way on this one,Hans, you post enough boring articles so people like No1 and Laptamike, try to cheer every one up after reading boring stories about somethings that we have probably all read by a better author

HAPPY FEET


Joined: 18/07/2008
Posts: 416

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 17:21

Must be a barrell of laughs going for a pint with DC

cyprusjoker


Joined: 29/08/2009
Posts: 1107

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 17:37

I gotta say that the banter between you guys is better than the joke

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 17:38

Cheers TopTen.

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 17:40

Msg 21, Ha Ha.

I like it

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 19:17

hehe I found the following link funny and quite true. I lived there for a few years.



http://hennievandyk.bravepages.com/jokes.html

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 19:33

Msg 27

So why is it then that they have a greater ratio of 'drop dead gorgeous' girls than most North European Countries?!



Richard

Krypton


Joined: 02/09/2010
Posts: 179

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 23:34

DC why does every subject you wanr posted on here have to do with the TRNC. What is the point of a discusion forum if not to discuss all topics. Some in the past, particularly PC problems have proved very useful

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
03/09/2010 23:46

Msg 29

It's a self-identity problem starting from megalomania leading to god knows what or where!



Richard

dogeared


Joined: 02/09/2010
Posts: 45

Message Posted:
04/09/2010 09:50

thanks for sharing made me smile