on getting old

ilovecyprus


Joined: 08/05/2007
Posts: 2880

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 17:35

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, 'SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.' ?



WELL, MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.



SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?



UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.





AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL



'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.



'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.



HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?'



'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS! ' I EXCLAIMED.



HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, BALD-HEADED, WRINKLED, FAT, GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT SON-OF-A-BUZZARD ASKED, 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'

Chick-a-Dee


Joined: 16/06/2008
Posts: 342

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 17:44

"How do I know that my youth's all spent?

Well, my get up and go has got up and went.

But in spite of it all, I'm able to grin

When I recall where my get up has been.

Old age is golden, so I've heard it said,

But sometimes I wonder, when I get into bed.

My years in a drawer and tea in a cup,

My eyes on the table until I wake up.

The sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself --

'Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?'

And I am happy to say as I close my door,

My friends are the same, perhaps even more.

When I was young, my slippers were red,

I could kick of my heels right over my head,

When I grew older my slippers were blue,

But still I could dance the whole night through.

Now I am old, my slippers are black.

I walked to the store and puff my way back;

The reason I know my youth is all spent,

My get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don't mind, when I think with a grin

Of all the grand places my get up has been.

Since I have retired from life's competition,

I busy myself with complete repetition.

I get up each morning, dust off my wits,

Pick up my paper, and read the "Obits,"

If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead.

So I eat a good breakfast, and go back to bed."

mountbatten


Joined: 12/04/2008
Posts: 102

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 19:16

Getting older, i am always going to someones funeral these days,and the police look like schoolboys,my wife said i have selective hearing,.

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 19:20

You know you're getting old when you have to lean on the wall to put your underwear on. :-(

ROBnJO


Joined: 30/06/2008
Posts: 1289

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 19:24

Growing old is like recreating a childhood dream,...





You become invisible. ;-(

Rogerdodger


Joined: 24/04/2008
Posts: 271

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 19:28

Guys,



Remember your only as old as the women you feel

graham


Joined: 20/10/2007
Posts: 397

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 20:06

SOUNDS FAMILIAR



Just a line to say I’m living,

That I’m not among the dead;

Though I’m getting more forgetful.

And mixed up in the head.

I’ve got used to my arthritis,

To my dentures I’m resigned;

I can cope with my bi-focals,

But – ye gods – I miss my mind.

Sometimes I can’t remember

When I’m standing by the stair,

If I should be going up for something

Or have just come down from there.

And before the fridge, so often,

My mind is full of doubt;

Now did I put some food away

Or come to take some out?

So remember I do love you,

And wished that you live near;

And now its time to post this

And say goodbye, my dear.

At last I stand beside the post box

And my face – it sure is red.

Instead of posting this to you

I’ve opened it instead!

Ballyboffin


Joined: 25/08/2007
Posts: 903

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 22:30

My late Dad's poem.



A man is not old when his hair turns grey,



A man is not old when his teeth decay,



But a man is old and heading for his long last sleep,



When his mind makes promise's, his body can't keep !!!!!!!!!!!!





He dreamt on until he was 86 & still caught the ladies......

lesleyd



Joined: 05/06/2007
Posts: 265

Message Posted:
12/08/2008 22:49

Remember your only as old as the women you feel..Hmm

Or maybe as old as the man you feel.

Geoff1131


Joined: 12/07/2007
Posts: 276

Message Posted:
13/08/2008 07:18

My wife asked me if i would still love her when she got old. I said of coures get hold!!!

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
13/08/2008 07:51

growing old is inevitable

growing up is optional

myservices


Joined: 05/05/2008
Posts: 121

Message Posted:
13/08/2008 10:19

Rob&Jo

Wouldnt like to trust a cypriot wall !

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
13/08/2008 10:37

Two elderley couples were having a conversation when one of the men asked the other. "Harry, how was the memory clinic you went to last week?"

"It was great," Harry replied "they taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualisation, association - it's made a huge difference to me"

"That's great, what was the name of the clinic?"

Harry went blank. He thought and thought hard, but he could'nt remember. Then a smile broke out across his face and he asked his friend, "what do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a Rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife..."Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

mountbatten


Joined: 12/04/2008
Posts: 102

Message Posted:
13/08/2008 10:46

My wife teeth are like stars,that come out at night.

kimosh


Joined: 09/08/2008
Posts: 193

Message Posted:
13/08/2008 20:53

what is old .... we all mature with age ... some more than others ... as long as you are young at heart .. always makes me smile ... when the men start to knock there wives when it comes to this subject ..... i remeber when i had my first child i had been married for over 7 years ... my husband came to the hospital every day on the 3rd day he said to me i had to buy some bath towels today and some saucepans oh and some soap ...i said what why .. he said i dont know where you keep them ...... omg ... are you stupid ...are you spoilt ... no wonder i left him

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
13/08/2008 22:00

Reading about all these oldies reminded me of an old-skool favourite from Fred Wedlock in 1981. All the wrinklies in the world, this one's for you:





When you're scoring with a chick in a disco bar

Take her home in your hairy little car

Then you find you went to school with her ma and da

You're the oldest swinger in town



When you won't look in the mirror in the light of day

Swear you've dyed it when your hair turns grey

When you zip up your Wranglers and your belly's in the way

You're the oldest swinger in town



Here you come and there you go

White wheels, spots and a stereo

But the engine is jacked and the driver is too

You're the oldest swinger in town



The barber takes a little less time each week

The kids don't understand a word you speak

When you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat

You're the oldest swinger in town



You prefer a pint of shandy to Bacardi and Coke

The sounds are too loud and there's too much smoke

You'd like another dance but you're afraid you'll get a stroke

You're the oldest swinger in town



Here you come with your chest all bare

A little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair

Like the disco king meets Yogi Bear

You're the oldest swinger in town



When you're feeling as stiff as a skinhead's boot

Rub on Vicks where you used to splash Brut

And the latest punk fashion is your wedding suit

You're the oldest swinger in town



When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal

Travolta's shades and nine inch heels

They say a man is just as old as the woman he feels

You're the oldest swinger in town



Here you come with your lips closed tight

You never smile you know it wouldn't look right

Cause your dentures glow in the ultravoilet light

You're the oldest swinger in town



And you look so mean

Cause your pants are too tight

You're the oldest swinger in town



And it takes you all night

To do what you used to do all night

You're the oldest swinger in town