Dogs Welcome! (joke - sort of!)

MaggieAndBernie



Joined: 26/07/2008
Posts: 2012

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 11:09

"Dogs Welcome"



A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Northern Cyprus he planned to visit on his holiday.



He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me.



He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him



In my room with me at night?"







An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:



"I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels,



Bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of



The night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes,



Indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.



And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

bigbadbob


Joined: 04/08/2010
Posts: 368

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 13:45

That made me smile.Bob.

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 13:55

I liked that

wiseoldboy


Joined: 15/09/2010
Posts: 28

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:17

I once new someone who owned dog kennels in UK, and his advert said 'choice of food'. Someone rang and asked what the choice was and the reply was 'they can take it or leave it'.!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:24

A dog is truly a man's best friend.



If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.



Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.



When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:26

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

* 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

* 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

* 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

* 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

* 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

* 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

* 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite

thing!

* 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:28

Its a Dogs Life Bill xx

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:35

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever >> sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:35

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Maz


Joined: 29/03/2009
Posts: 1924

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:44

Thanks for the smiles! I particularly liked the one at the beginning, cos I reckon my dog is vaslty superior to many of the people I know who are allowed in places my dog is NOT allowed! Unfair world, isn't it?

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
17/09/2010 23:51

Maz my dog talks to me, he has just said OUT and waited by the door. they are far more superior to most people i know. I have had my staffi for 7 years and know his moods by now as he does mine . we do have little chats and i actually understand him. I know its been said i have lost the plot so here is your proof x

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
18/09/2010 06:47

With very few exceptions humans are not inclined to take a dump in the middle of the restaurant.

blade


Joined: 19/06/2010
Posts: 1286

Message Posted:
18/09/2010 15:24

Nice thougths No 1, sadly here in the TRNC thats not always the case.

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
18/09/2010 15:30

blade - too true!

measey


Joined: 07/02/2009
Posts: 1037

Message Posted:
18/09/2010 15:35

Lilli. Hope you are well, my youngest dog Drew is my best friend, i spend 3 days every week away on business and arrive home between 7 & 8 oclock at night and My wife tells me from 6 oclock onwards he waits at the front door with his Lead at his feet. My Wife is useally a sleep when i walk throught the door.



Measey. x

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
18/09/2010 16:06

" My Wife is useally a sleep when i walk throught the door. "



And we are surprised because...............

Maz


Joined: 29/03/2009
Posts: 1924

Message Posted:
18/09/2010 23:20

My dog doesn't dump anywhere she should not, but I have seen two legged beasties (known as humans) throw up in restaurants and other public places! So, who is the worst, the four legged friend who can't quite say 'I gotta go' or the two legged friend who shouldn't be there in the first place.



And to Lilli - you havne't lost the plot - it is the others who haven't found it yet!

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
18/09/2010 23:36

Thank you Maz, after the stick I have taken you would not beleive . They wont put me down.Measey xx