" Perfume bottle shoved up ya arris "

cyprusjoker


Joined: 29/08/2009
Posts: 1107

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 19:00

Reading in todays Cyprus today for those that never got it a man had to have a perfume bottle removed from his anus after saying he had put it there. Ten years ago the same thing happened in the same village after a man had an affair with another mans wife. Police are now investagating. Not all bad for the man at least his farts would have smelt nice.

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 19:48

Vulgarity has won at last - on this board.

andrew4232



Joined: 04/07/2009
Posts: 1543

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 19:53

more shite i see

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 19:59

Our favourite Australian bard has a coupla 'contributions' to this topic, but it's the second track that REALLY pertains to the title of this thread - so listen carefully!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4wZ_TrsWVs

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
22/09/2010 20:01

Presumably he had to remove his vibrator to make room for the bottle.

Bernies


Joined: 21/09/2010
Posts: 95

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 09:05

this is the punishment in trnc for having a relationship with a married woman.



accept the trnc ways or move out . is oft the cry on here.

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 09:53

Is this the TRNC version of 'Spin the Bottle'? - !!!

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 10:25

Le Petomane (The Fartist) was a famous 19th century French "Music Hall" performer who used to blow out candles etc He would finish his show by farting the first line of "La Marseillaise"

Chessy


Joined: 09/06/2010
Posts: 32

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 12:02

what worries me is most musician clear there throught first before singing, so what did he do before farting, you just wouldnt want to be on the front row of that concert lol

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 12:11

msg 9 Chessy, He would give himself an enama and have his asisstant blow up his bowels with a bicycle pump

it was all done in the "BEST POSSIBLE TASTE" lol

Chessy


Joined: 09/06/2010
Posts: 32

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 12:26

just looked on the internet, and found his greatest hits, titled gone with the wind

Chessy


Joined: 09/06/2010
Posts: 32

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 12:31

with tracks such tubler bowels and whos that knocking at the back door

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 13:30

In all seriousness whether the guy did it himself or it was done to him, the result could have been catastrophic if the bottle had broken or even had been chipped.



More common than you would think, foreign objects being removed from the strangest places in the human body!



Chris

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 14:20

msg 13,,, Absolutely right, I once new an Architect who had his brains removed from his rectum, apparently there's a lot of it about.. ouch!

fiendishpaul


Joined: 18/05/2008
Posts: 1720

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 14:56

Was 'Brut' force involved

Chessy


Joined: 09/06/2010
Posts: 32

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 14:59

if it was somebody else that did it to him, my bets are on his misses, trying to see how he likes it

Snaefell



Joined: 07/06/2009
Posts: 266

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 18:52

When I worked in the Anatomy Department at Leeds School of Medicine, the A and E surgeons regularly told us of men coming in with veg such as carrots and parsnips stuck up their arrass's!!

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 19:55

My ex wife worked in A & E in a New Zealand hospital - a big, fat Maori woman came in with a full size [glass in those days] Coca Cola bottle stuck right up her 'snatch'!



Apparently, the way they got it out was to pierce the base of the bottle with a red hot iron to release the air, which made it slide out like a silk worm!

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 20:45

msg18"Bugger me " Bit to much information but informative non the less, thanks me old mate....

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 20:51

msg 2 D.C. "Vulgarity Has Won At Last" But you still looked did't you ????? Perhaps you were a Voyeur in a past life ....

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 20:59

msg3 Are you as Miserable as you look!!!

JohhnyLee


Joined: 25/04/2009
Posts: 2495

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 21:02

Our sons partner, is a nurse, and cases like this are very common. they had a guy in recentley with a potatoe in Tesco carrier bag up his dirtbox.

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 21:09

"Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice

Ring my ring game goes horribly wrong"

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 21:13

Tenakoutou. "slide out like a silk worm" Strewth, New Zealand has silk worms the size of Cola Bottles ? Surely not a 2 litre one with a special offer of an extra 20 free ? What a bummer that must have been

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 21:13

msg 2 Hans, the original message for the post was in Cyprus today so IS RELEVANT to the board.

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 21:15

JohhnyLee/Msg 22: '...with a potatoe...'



Our favourite Australian bard has yet another valuable contribution to make to this thread!



However, firstly, you'll have to go through the pain of hearing his band 'jamming' - even they are wincing!



But hang in there and you'll LOVE the second track........ !!!

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 21:18

re Msg 26:



Thanks Efes, I forgot to post the link!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKe4zsnlRSo

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 21:34

msg 2 Come on DC you were the second to post, you come from a land of Drugs Sex and Euthanasia, What,s wrong, possibly cant think of any HISTORICAL content. for heaven sake chill ....

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
23/09/2010 23:55

http://regretfulmorning.com/2009/06/7-objects-in-assholes/

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
24/09/2010 10:06

Paddy used the NHS to have a vibrator removed from his Jacksy but had to pay "private" to have the battery changed and the vibrator reinserted !

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
29/09/2010 11:35

If this topic has become too distasteful, or depressing, let's let our favourite Australian bard thoroughly cheer up our day with the following melodous little ditty!



Catchy - innit???!!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-42LlHL-I8

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
29/09/2010 11:43

Whoops - that should have been spelled 'melodious' - it could have been 'malodorous', too!